13 August 2013 at 2:45 pm #12101
(((Deb))) Sounds like Barry isn’t sitting so pretty anymore……………Carole14 August 2013 at 3:13 am #12102
Oh Bettie and Carole!!!!! Apparently the rich young thing that Barry dumped me for on my birthday has dumped him a few days ago…….. A WEEK BEFORE HIS BIRTHDAY. Neighbours spotted him frantically trying to stop her from leaving, waving his arms and trying to stop her car. LMAO, karma really does exist. I think he saw her money disappearing with her and he just lost it. I’ve also been told he’s back on the dating website, hunting down his next victim. Doesn’t sound like a broken heart to me, lol. Anyways, that inner petty devil inside of me is laughing like crazy. I have the last laugh anyways – a great job, a terrific boyfriend, happy, healthy and loving family and….. I’m not gambling. Looks like I came out the winner here. Living well is truly the best revenge. Luv to all, Deb14 August 2013 at 12:42 pm #12103bettieParticipant
Saw this on FB and thought of you today!14 August 2013 at 1:04 pm #12104cat438Participant
Debbie, so happy that you have moved on to a new life, and you should thank the girlfriend that just dumped him as she helped get you out of his clutches!!!! WTG you have come a long way girl!!!! Enjoy life you deserve it. Have a wonderful day living a normal life.One day at a time my sweet lord…5 September 2013 at 11:09 am #12105
Thanks Kathryn, I had a wonderful long weekend. I have another week off in October and I think I will plan a trip to see Bettie since she has been to see me 3 ***** and I have not gone there yet. I hate driving on highways and freeways, I become panicked and nervous. It’s amazing that I actually have enough money to consider taking a train or plane in order to go and visit Bettie. Sarah’s first birthday is rapidly approaching and I am going to the mall tonight to shop for that special first birthday gift. Looking back over this past year and reflecting over all the changes that have come into my life I can hardly believe that I am in such a different situation and mind frame now. I can recognize triggers that used to send me down to the casino and spiral out of control. No life is ever conflict free and I’m not running away from conflict anymore, I am learning to cope with it. I think that the debt incurred by my past coping mechanisms was probably the worst, which no longer seems insurmountable. I deal with it one day at a time, paying off important bills and keeping up with the others. Money is starting to have value again and is no longer just "ammunition" to feed my addiction. I used to think, "just four more years and I’ll be out of debt" then I would consolidate my debts and start all over. I refuse to live for the future, and have stopped thinking that way. Every day is a new one and it is important to live in the here and now. Recovery does not mean that I will suddenly "find" all the money I had lost, or suddenly start to see a lot of money in my bank account. Recovery means that slowly, over time, I can get back on my feet and see my own worth. It has taken close to a year to be able to plan and afford a trip to see a wonderful friend and that is something that even a year ago I would not have been able to do, or even fathom doing. Today I am happy and at peace. Today I will not gamble, but live life to the fullest. Debbie5 September 2013 at 3:19 pm #12106veraParticipant
Well said, Debbie!
Gambling deprives us of so many things…
We cannot turn back the clock, but we can rewind it!
Sounds like your new life has been worth all the effort. One day at a time! I am so happy for you!5 September 2013 at 3:46 pm #12107lizbeth4Participant
Hi! Your new life is awesome. Be proud of yourself for leaving (which must of been very hard) and starting a new life. You sound very different now, full of positive energy! Life is too short! Take care and have a great day!!Seize all the good things in life5 September 2013 at 5:40 pm #12108
Dear (((Debbie)))! You should go visit Bettie and see how beautiful the city is and its architecture. Nice time of year to go on one of those tour cruises as well. I loved the stained glass collection they had at the Pier. I’ve applied for a couple of jobs and I need to hang around town in case I get called for an interview. I’ve had time to adjust to moving to the city, but now suddenly things seem to be moving too fast for me, as I am at the stage of applying for jobs, and the last piece of the puzzle is securing employment. I haven’t worked outside my home for over a decade so this is stressful for me. Glad you’re happy in your life. Carole8 September 2013 at 10:36 pm #12109pParticipant
Thank you for your post on my thread. I see your life has changed so much for the better, i really do appreciate your encouragement and support. It is a very bad time for me but as they say, this too will pass, im waiting.
P13 September 2013 at 4:35 pm #12110
(((Debbie))) Nice to see that you’re happy with where your life is now. You were right that things have settled down since I moved permanently to the city. I have no desire to return to the life I was living with Danny. I also have zero desire to meet "anybody" else, but we’re all different. When I first left Danny I was feeling really cynical about marriage and relationships. That is slowly changing. I refuse to have unhealthy people in my life anymore, unless they are working some kind of recovery program and are trying to change. You’ve done really well with working your gambling recovery program, and I’m sure that getting rid of the source of a lot of your stress has helped (read Barry). Carole26 September 2013 at 1:21 pm #12111
Trying hard to like this new site but it is so confusing. I know that change can be good but I just have to say that I miss the old format, it was so user friendly.29 September 2013 at 8:50 am #12112adeleParticipant
Are you maybe having trouble posting on the new site?
I’m running around sharing a way that I figured out for getting my comments to post at the end of the thread instead of landing somewhere in the middle.
Here it is if you’re interested:
Don’t use the “Add new comment” box for typing your comments.
Instead, click on the dark purple “reply” button (next to the “Complain about a message” button) just under the last comment posted on the thread.
When you click on the “reply” button, a new window pops up where you can type in your comment. Then when you hit “Save”, your comment will post at the tail end of the thread like it’s supposed to!
I hope this helps and you start posting again soon.
This new site has some really cool features I think we’re all going to like once the GT team gets all the kinks worked out!
Adele25 October 2013 at 4:06 pm #12113adeleParticipant
I did a search on your name and found your thread (for Tara – and me to read later) but it appears some posts are missing … 🙁
Adele25 October 2013 at 11:15 pm #12114
Yeah, I just noticed that too Adele. On Oct. 24, 2013, my birthday, I was tossed out of my “home” for a younger woman with more money. I was used by my common-law partner for 3 years to pay his mortgage, buy his groceries, cook, clean and provide him with my company benefits. I was so engrossed in my addiction that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Even so, I was devastated when he ended the relationship and sunk into a deep depression and had to go live with my ex-husband for 6 months because I had nowhere else to go. I’m really not complaining about that, I will be eternally grateful to my ex for giving me a soft place to land and time to heal. I banned myself from the casino the day after my birthday because I knew I would gamble excessively due to the depression. The banning was the final step that I had been terrified to make. It was this step that finally allowed me the time to have some clarity and take a really good look at myself and my life. I gambled for close to 15 years and it’s going to take me the next 4-5 years to pay back my debts. I will have to postpone retirement for awhile in order to save up for it. That part doesn’t really bother me, what bothers me is the situation I was in with my common-law partner (Barry) and my inability to see the abuse and my inability to deal with it due to my addiction. That is really what keeps me from giving in to urges and keeps me in recovery, I NEVER want to be in that position again, it’s demeaning and I had no self esteem or self-worth whatsoever. Too bad there are pieces of this journal missing, but what’s important is that I’m still here, and I am happy to fill you in on those missing pieces personally. Ask anything and I’ll be glad to answer and fill in the blanks. Debbie29 October 2013 at 2:38 am #12115cat438Participant
Debs I don’t know why, but when I am feeling blah now I keep thinking about your comment about turning up the music. I know that I would do that in the car sometimes I would just have the music blaring and it does help the mood. I just have to stop thinking that I am old. I am also becoming more aware of emotions, as tonight I had a meeting at work and I was just upset about some stuff, and I noticed that after I got home I just kept eating!!! I now have to find a way to deal with things, but not by eating!!!! I also was thinking all the time I was eating, this is not good, you are hurting yourself more than anyone else…. Unfortunately, it did not stop me. I would probably have gone gambling before, but I need to do something like get on the treadmill or the exercise bike, or pick up the knitting. I am at least thinking about how to handle it in the future, now that is positive!!!!
You really have come a long way girl!!!! It is awesome to read your posts and see how far you have come and how your self respect has grown!!!!
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