6 July 2023 at 3:32 pm #178507mutleyParticipant
I’ve posted on here many times before in the past. I think I first posted here in 2005, but here I am again! It would be reasonable to say that I have made some progress in between my posts but I’m not completely free of this unseen addiction. Gambling isn’t like other addictions as there are no outward signs that a person is suffering from a serious addiction, unlike drugs or alcohol in which it becomes evident that a person is struggling with the aforementioned. I have done a lot of things to stop myself from gambling, Gamstop, self-exclusion etc but there is always a way around these blocks and the gambling part of my brain knows that and uses it to trick the normal side of my brain that it is a good idea to go gamble in a pub or even a day out at the seaside or motorway service stations. In other words, it’s an absolute nightmare, you cannot get away from gambling these days it’s all over the place, on the TV in every shop in country. I’m going mad in the head I can’t get away from it. The only time I truly find peace is when I have no money at all and no access to money at all. I haven’t been to work for the last 4 weeks because I’m so scared all I’ll do with my wages is blow it on a £500 jackpot fruit machine and you can easily put 1k in one of those in 60 minutes, mind-blowing. So I think I’m gamble-free now for about 4 or 5 days I haven’t been counting the days I’m sick of counting the days going by. The only reason I haven’t gambled is because I have no money. I’m over 50 and I haven’t got 2 pence to rub together it is pathetic. I feel completely pathetic. I have tried to end my own life 3 times now over the years because of gambling. I cannot see a way out of it. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life gambling but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life battling with the addiction. I haven’t gambled today but the addiction is still controlling me, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be on here! I don’t know what to do but I have pretty much locked myself away in the house for the last 4 weeks. I suffer from a mental health problem as well and my anxiety levels are through the roof atm. What should I do? Stay Strong & Never Give Up Trying To Give Up. (I wish I believed my own slogan but I do not)
6 July 2023 at 10:12 pm #178521charlesModerator
Hi Mutley and welcome back. Well done on your 4 or 5 days gamble free.
As you say, no money = no gambling, we can use that in recovery. How can you limit your access to funds when you do get paid? What things can you put in place now, while you can’t gamble, so that is is harder to do so when you can.
As you say, there is always a way around barriers, we can tighten those barriers though.
How about support? You haven’t been posting here so have you been getting to GA or anything like that? Lots of support options in the UK, here and sites like this, Gamblers Anonymous, Gamcare, the NHS clinics, even residential support.
At the end of the day if we could do it on our own then none of us would have been in the chit in the first place. Keep psoting, look at what things you can put in place to make your next bet less likely. Then while the barriers are giving you a breathing space use the support to start working on other things.
We, and/0r your other support options, can help you stop gambling. Use your Dr and mental health support as well.
Keep posting and maybe I’ll see you in a group soon.
- This reply was modified 5 months ago by charles. Reason: Edited to correct typos! :)
7 July 2023 at 7:56 pm #178529kkhogan104Participant
Please think about to Gamblers Anonymous. Just a thought- it helps more than you know the daily meetings and other things they offer are very helpful. Also, I don’t have a huge hand when it comes to pray- but everyday i do get up and tell myself no one is perfect – and if you can just make it thru one day with out gambling – at least its one day less- take it a day at a time and don’t forget your past successes- you have done it before you can do it again ! You are not alone in this struggle. Also have you ever thought of giving someone else control of you finances/Paychecks/bank account – (someone you trust of course) and no one says it has to be forever – and yes it sounds childish – but it gave me so much relief knowing i did not have access to money – until I had to pay bills or pay the mortgage etc. It takes away the temptation to spend it all, and even if you give you self some money it avoids you spending it all on gambling-
Also I am with you, its sad that treatment options are so slim compared to the amount of slots/pokies popping up around every corner. The advertising scars me the most- my young son even sees them and thinks ‘ Wow they give you 1000 dollars mom” Not true … they give you a way to lose 1000 dollars and a huge life problem if you are like your mother son! So stick to it.. don’t be so hard on yourself and TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME
10 July 2023 at 11:02 pm #178671CraigMac6Participant
I thank you for sharing your post. Gambling will never make our lives better. Each time we gamble just makes our life a little worse and a little worse. Whereas if we put down the gambling, yes its a struggle and its a battle against an addiction but overtime that battle will get a little easier. I think putting in a lot of work now for a better life is a better option than making life easy now with gambling without ever having a positive end insight.
You can do this. It’s never too late to start living a better life 🙂
13 July 2023 at 6:53 am #178737marcusmaximusParticipant
I get absolutely what you are going through. How are you doing? Please keep posting, it definitely helps in processing your thoughts.
It is a heck of a battle, but it is possible to live a life without gambling. Others are doing it. We all have to find a way that works for us.
One of the best pieces of advice I have received is to just take things day by day. Tell yourself I will not gamble today. Then repeat the next day. Avoid certain situations or distract yourself when the urges come.
They do come for sure, I guess that is normal in recovery, our minds are almost programmed to gamble after years of “training”.
We have to try and break the cycle. Do other things and start to rebuild.
Yes we can put barriers in place. That is good it helps so much to stop us on our “devices”. But as you said temptation lurks at a day at the seaside.
Keep enough money in your pocket to only cover what you need for the day. Leave your card where you are staying or with someone else.
Think ahead to avoid the traps.
It is bad and troublesome to have to do these things I guess but our brains are so wired to seek that gambling buzz that it is just something we must always do now.
I admit to people I am a compulsive gambler now. I turn down invites to days at the races. Other places where I know opportunity my arise.
I would rather do this than go back to where I was.
You can do it mutley, day by day. You have stopped before. You can do it again, forgive yourself that you have slipped. That is so important, I am learning to not be so hard on myself.
We are always learning how to do things better. I guess some of us need more attempts to stop than others. I certainly do! This time, believe you can do it. Stay committed. Best wishes to you.
8 September 2023 at 11:28 am #181330mutleyParticipant
Hi, all. I thought I’d pop on here and see how everyone is! Wowzers this is hard. I’m doing quite well at the moment but I know it’s only because I have no money at all. Having said that I did have a very tumultuous week regarding money, bills and the like. I dropped myself completely in it a few weeks ago and it’s taken me nearly 4 weeks to get out of the mess I created..gambling of course! But I didn’t go completely over the edge. I managed to come to my senses 3 weeks, 4 days and 19 hours ago and stop gambling right there and then I still had some cash in my pocket but I thought You know what You fighting a losing battle here, you will never win, gambling isn’t the answer to your problems, gambling is the problem you’re an idiot if you gamble all that money away you will be completely in the proverbial. So I stopped there and then. I have not gambled since I have scrimped and saved these last few weeks to meet my direct debits and utility bills etc. Although I have had to borrow 70 quid from my dad again I can pay him back later. If I/we could stop gambling all our problems would eventually go away. Do not feel bad for the gambling companies, and do not feel that you have to go to a particular establishment because you are familiar with the place or you like the people who work there, at the end of the day they butter you up because they want your money they do not care about you as a person. Self-exclude, use gamstop do everything you can to stop…I do not want for myself or my family to carry on doing and going through this. It has gone to stop!!!!! Stay strong and never stop trying to stop.
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