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    • #51118
      readyforchange
      Participant

      For the last 21 years I’ve worked hard and got nothing really to show for it, due to my gambling! Not every year has been a losing year, but when i do lose I start chasing, and get myself into a real mess. 

      24.05.19 was my last bet, I lost a huge sum of money and I’ve made the decision now to properly stop. These last couple of days have been tough, my mind is making me daydream about winning scenarios and ways to win back the money I’ve lost!!

      I’ve resisted, and I’m going to continue fighting myself.

      When I’m stressed I drink and gamble, not a great mixture or a recipe for success or anything good, so I’ve given up drinking and gambling in one go, wish me luck!!

      I’m gonna win this fight, gambling won’t be my legacy on this planet….

      I’m on this wagon now, and I’m not climbing off.

    • #51119
      dunc
      Participant

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #51120
      jimmywright
      Participant

      Hi readyforchange,

      Well done on taking the decision to give up gambling. Your circumstances are very normal for someone with a gambling problem in that you lost a large sum of money and now wish to stop.

      My challenge to you is this, what is going to stop you gambling when you have not just lost a large sum of money?

      Have you thought about practical steps you can take like self exclusion or surrendering control of your finances to someone trusted?

      I am a recovering gambling addict myself and I sense willpower in your post. However, willpower alone is not enough to keep me or you stopped permanently, I know from experience.

      I would like to hear from you again and hope things go well.

      One step at a time. One day at a time.

    • #51121
      readyforchange
      Participant

      Hi, 

      Great question regarding how will I keep away from gambling when I’ve not just lost in the future. I’ve been asking myself the same sort of thing this week and not 100% got a plan yet. 

      I’ve self excluded from all online sites that I was on, I’ve also used gamstop but I’ve had a couple of issues with it, but I’m in contact with them currently as they’ve not been able to verify me yet. 

      I’ve had false starts in the past, and dropped back into gambling easily, but this time I feel more determined. I’ve managed a week now, and I know I’ve got a mile and a mountain to go still, but I’m beating it this time, I’m up for this fight. 

      Through the week I’ve been listening to TED talks on YouTube and podcasts, and found them really helpful and motivational.

      What did you do that helped you sort out your problem, any tips would be greatly appreciated?

      Regards

       J

    • #51122
      jimmywright
      Participant

      I surrendered control of my finances, self excluded from everything and got a lot of help and support from family and friends after opening up and being honest about my problem

    • #51123
      Steev
      Participant

      You are in the right place. Read around the site. Read the forums and the advice that has been given to other people.

      If I had only one piece of advice to give it would be – take your recovery as seriously as you took your gambling. Do everything and I mean everything you can to stop and stay stopped.

      If someone suggests something and you feel resistance – look at what is going on. Why not try GA, why not put a blocker on your phone, why not pass on your financial dealings to someone else. There may be good reasons for not doing these things – but often it is the gambling wanting to be stronger than the recovery.

      I tried everything – counselling, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, meditation. Some things worked better than others. Some I stuck with and some I dropped – but anything that was suggested then I had a go at. That was the committment to myself.

    • #51124
      readyforchange
      Participant

      I’ve done the self excluding part, the opening up to the family is a whole different ball game, I’m going to find that one really hard. I will do it, but I’m not ready for those chats just yet. 

      The advice regarding taking the recovery as serious as I did my gambling is spot on. I hadn’t thought of it like that, but you’re right, the energy and focus need to be the same!

      I’m booked in to talk with a CBT therapist, and I’ll do all the homework that comes with it.

      My failed attempts in the past have been because my gambling and greed have been stronger than my will power to stop. I’ve been reading stuff on this forum to help me with that hurdle when i get to that point again. 

      GA isn’t out of the question, I may have to travel to a different town though, I don’t want people in my own town to know. I know it sounds daft, but I’m not ready to open up to potentially people I know. 

      Thanks for your tips, they’ve been absolutely what I’ve needed to read. 

    • #51125
      Berta24449787
      Participant

      I too am not too keen on informing anyone of my problem. I have worked very hard all of my life and don’ t want to lose the respect that I have garnered over it. Gambling has taken enough from me and I wont let it take that too. We had a guy at work who had lost everything was sleeping in his car and the talk about him!!!! I know what people are like and they tend to judge and criticize without thinking about the consequences. I will keep it to myself when it comes to people outside my immediate family. Even still, telling family can be a source of great strength and help for some and negativity and judgement. If it’s not going to be the former then avoid it if at all possible. No need for more shadows cast upon you while you fight your way through it. Just do what feels right for you.
      I’m not telling anyone myself and I feel ok about it.

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