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    velvet
    Moderator

    Dear Bella
    Please keep writing and saying it just as it is for you. Unfortunately Gambling Therapy does not cover the UK but gamcare.co.uk does. Write your story and don’t hold back. You are a unique and special person who has been hit over and over again by a debilitating and terrible addiction that you do not deserve.
    If your husband is attending GA he should be giving you something in return for your support. Recovery for a CG is really hard and the only way is often very selfish but if he is giving you nothing then I think he is not listening in his meetings.
    If there is a Gamanon, please join it. You are in need of support and physically holding the hand of another who understands can be so therapeutic. Writing is therapeutic – you have had the courage to write on this site and I am so sorry that I am unable to support you as I would like to. Gather your courage up again one more time and write again.
    Your husband has not deliberately hurt you – you are not to blame in any way. Neither of you asked for or wanted the addiction to gamble.
    Your husband should not be directing anger at you if he is working his recovery – maybe you could ask him to talk to his meeting about ‘your’ feelings and his behaviour towards you.
    The support he is getting should not include any settling of his gambling debts. Part of his recovery should be taking responsibility for his debts.
    If he really does want to stop gambling maybe he could approach the Gordon Moody Association rehab – you can find details lower down on this forum page. This site is funded to offer support to those who go through the GMA programme and also their families.
    You can get through this Bella – your children need you to be strong. Knowledge of the addiction to gamble will give you power over it. I appeciate you felt you could depend on your husband but you have always been the stronger without realising it. He is controlled by an addiction and is therefore weaker.
    Don’t give up seeking help – it is there for you. You are understood, you are not alone. You are not being rejected, you are being redirected and you will find support.
    Velvet
    — 09/01/2013 23:36:57: post edited by Velvet.

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