5 April 2016 at 1:31 pm #7843Malkie1981Participant
I have led a happy life that has been great with my wife and kids, we have went through a lot in our time together. I lost a very good friend and helped my wife through post natal depression and another dark time.
Over the last 3 years we have spent a lot of time apart because of my job and in that time we also had another son. A little miracle.
But about 3 years ago I started gambling online, I had always played fruit machines and never thought it was bad. The online gambling just consumed me and it needs felt real. To start with it was only small amounts but gradually over time it went up and up and I always thought I could sort it but I also felt it wasn’t real because it was all online and with credit cards. I have also got myself into a lot of debt which affects my family too. I should of spoke to someone but I always thought I had control and it would fix itself before anyone found out.
I am currently away and my wife opened a letter to find a loan I had taken which then forced me to tell her the true extent. Not surprisingly she is extremely hurt and upset and feels like I have betrayed her. All the people I have told have been dissapoint education but supportive which makes me wish I had of said something sooner but I was so scared. I haven’t gambled for 3 months now and I never want to again. I just need to try and get help and beat this addiction and hopefully my wife and kids will still be there. I need to prove to them that I can do it and I am willing to do anything to do this. But I don’t know where to start or what to say or do.
I have spoken to a debt charity and a financial advisor. My wife now has my passwords for all my accounts.
Admitting it has been a relief but it has also made thins worse in my relationship and actually looking at the money scares me more now. I can see me being debt free in the future.
Any help ad advice would be greatly appreciated
Mal6 April 2016 at 10:57 am #7844DuncKeymaster
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team24 April 2016 at 9:17 pm #7845lynloosParticipant
I’ve been married for 30 years, my husband started gambling 20 years ago on horses, but the problems started big 15 years ago when he started on the machines I’ve sold my house twice too pay the gambling debts off this house is my name. I’ve took bank cards of him gave him spending money banned him from all bookies but he’s taken out credit cards and now does online gambling I’ve even closed them accounts down but he always finds a way. He’s been to GA 3 times I’m at my wits end he’s a lovely man our granddaughter adores him but all my trust as gone I’ve asked him too leave I’m scared of all the debt he’s got into his health is also suffering with all the stress from money worries. Will there ever be a end too it all. I’m exhausted and heartbroken by it all.28 April 2016 at 11:30 am #7846moniqueParticipant
Hello Lynloos and welcome to this site. I’m glad you have found this place where you can share your experiences and receive support. I can imagine how worn out you are by the struggles you describe.
To access the best support in the Forum section, it is best that you start your own thread in the Friends and Family section. Then you should receive replies specifically for yourself and you can keep your own ‘story’ all in one place. (Of course, you can send replies to others too, if you wish). So go to Forums, then choose Friends and Family, next go to the bottom left of that page and choose ‘New Topic’. You can then start your very own thread.
You can use the live helpline too when it is open and also take a look under Support Groups and log in when there is a suitable one on, so you can communicate ‘live’.
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