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  • #6895
    Seagulls15
    Participant

    Hi
    A question I want to ask is can you actually get a loved one to the control their gambling to a normal persons level. He understands he gambles too much but wont attend GA as he says
    would have to stop gambling completely but its such a big social thing he couldn’t and wouldn’t want to go down that route. ||I understand GA is right for lots of people but are their other
    options for him people know of.
    I appreciate any responses.
    Thank You

    #6896
    dunc
    Participant

    Hello

    Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

    Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page

    Read about the friends and Family Online Groups

    Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

    If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

    You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

    We look forward to hearing all about you!

    Take care

    The Gambling Therapy Team

    PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    #6897
    dunc
    Participant

    Hi  Seagulls15

    Welcome to GT, your posts whilst short has lots of permutations and isn’t easy to answer. The following are my opinions, and for disclosure I am a compulsive gambler in recovery

    You ask “can you actually get a loved one to the control their gambling to a normal person’s level” There isn’t an easy answer to this, it depends on where the gambler is on the spectrum between recreational and compulsive but mostly its down to the gamblers acceptance of the problem should there be one.

    Gambling addiction or compulsive gambling may be a type of impulse-control disorder, impulses (Urges) are impulses, and without help are hard to control. Can a gambler be forced to stop or seek help? In my opinion they can’t, the best route is to allow them to see just how their “Social Activity” is affecting you bnd this can be done by you seeking help and support

    One of the hardest parts is to know where anyone is on the spectrum, unlike an alcoholic a gambler will not display outward going signs which can make it harder to see or feel the problem. But the alcoholic analogy works well when looking at a gambler who needs help but wants to do some forms of gambling; and maybe reign in other in the belief control can be achieved

    Would anyone recommend an alcoholic who has drunk beer, spirits and cider to stop drinking beer and spirits and continue cider… the truth is alcohol is alcohol and gambling is gambling be it horse racing or a poker game at home. If the addiction exists, then the addiction exists

    There are many therapeutic options available from Peer support to rehabilitation with other options in the middle from counselling to clinics etc… but he would need to accept he needs help just doing it to appease you wouldn’t be a way forward.

    A thought… if he accepts, he gambles too much how about trying to minimise his access to finances which is effectively the “Pint Glass” and make him accountable to you… this isn’t about giving up control its about regaining control of his life

    The helpline is open most days we’d be happy to talk to you and your loved one should he wish to talk. Velvet who manages the F&F side is on Holiday however there is a group this evening at 22:00 which is another way to talk in confidence

    Dunc

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