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    • #13823
      mustgiveup
      Participant

      Hi all,
      I have totally hit rock bottom, and all I seem to want to do at the moment is give up and end it all.
      I started gambling when I was 16 introduced by the boyfriend at the time. It started with a couple of pounds a time and £5 fruit machines, but it increase to £25 fruit machines and then online. I spent all the savings that my grandfather left to me.
      A year after my grandfather died my dad was diagnosed with cancer and spend the next 4 years dying slowly and painfully which was hell to watch to say the least. My gambling got worse during this period and uncontrollable. Then 2 years after he died he left me a substantial sum of money which is now all gone. I spent a lot on paying off debts and travelling the world. But in travelling the world I discovered casinos in australia and new zealand and spent a lot of money there.
      Then when I got back i started spending up to 4000 a day on gambling and I now have no savings left, we are facing moving out of our place and we cannot find jobs because of the current climate. My life feels in ruins my mum is mad with me (she dosent know about the gambling) my fiance also dosent know about the gambling but is worried about our situation and the more I try and avoid online gambling the more I seem to do it. I have successfully managed to give up fruit machines and they dont bother me anymore. But they are replaced with online gambling.
      Its got to the point where I cant control myself and im petrified of my own laptop because I cant stop myself. I have ruined my life I have nothing left to live for I cant afford anything and I just want to curl in up a ball and let it all end. I have wasted what could of had me fiancially secure for life! or supported me while I cant find a job!
      Thats twice now I have ruined my life I just dont know what to do anymore and I totally give up! I kept praying for the big win to sort me out and of course it has never come and if it did I would just waste it again. Help me please someone

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