[nicky1995]

Hi my name is Nicky and I am the daughter of an alcholic (recovering 30yrs), the ex partner of an alcoholic (still drinking ) and I myself am a Compulsive Gambler with a Major Depressive Illness.  The point of this post is my son who at present is 16yrs old, and whom I love dearly.  Liam (not his real name) is an intelligent, kind and wonderful boy.  He is sensible, empathic and wise beyond his years.  He has witnessed the horror of my mental illness (of which I have tried desperately to hide from him) and the destruction of compulsive gambling.  I have been a single parent for most of his life, his father living in another state.  I left his father because of the alcoholism and did not want Liam to grow up in such a dysfunctional environment as I had.  I have failed to protect him from my destructive ways.  He has agreed to go to one counselling session, he is not very trusting of others and is very private.  He talks to me and we have always had a very open relationship but he needs something for himself.  He worries that my mental illness is heriditary, this is normal but he needs to talk to someone professional about his concerns.  He is at present sitting his last year of school, it is called the Higher School Certificate here in Australia and is a very important year.  He is also going through changes both physically and emotionally due to puberty.  The latest episode of my illness coupled with the compulsive gambling was one month ago, he was traumatised by the fact that I was sectioned and taken away in restraints.  All he wants of course is to see me well and looking after myself.  I am at present under alot of treatment for both the illness and compulsive gambling.  I have not gambled in 27 days and he is very supportive, I want support for him so much, more than what I can give him.  I am only too well aware the devistation of addictive behaviour and what its effects are on the children.  Whilst my son has not witnessed violence in the home, his constant worry about me has left him distrustful and anxious.  My beautiful son deserves the best.

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