[charles]

I know the Christmas period can be hard for some, it can put a lot of pressure on people and cause a lot of stress – and that’s for the general population not just Compulsive Gamblers and their families!

For me though Christmas is massive in my recovery; it really highlights the difference between how things are now and how things were when I gambled.

When I was gambling I was single and would be staying at my mums, either because I was unemployed or because I had a few days off work over Christmas. Presents would depend on how my luck was running in the run up to Christmas – most years that meant cheap chocolates and socks for my loved ones! All bought on Christmas Eve of course.

We would usually have Christmas lunch at my brother’s house. While dinner was in the oven a lot of us would pop down the pub for a drink. In those days of course I had what could be described as a “convenient bladder” – I had to nip to the loo any time it looked like a round of drinks needed buying!

Then it would be lunch, all the family sat around the table. All of them knowing that I was in the **** and all of them knowing I would be planning to have a big punt the next day to try and get myself out of it. My mum would be worried sick. The rest of my family would be avoiding the subject, trying to get through the day without an argument or upsetting mum. I would be just sat there wondering what the problem was – after all I was going to win a fortune the next day wasn’t I? In reality, no. On the odd occasion that I did manage to win my way out of a hole then I’d just start digging another hole, after all I’m a Compulsive gambler, it’s what we do.

This Christmas. Well this Christmas will be different. Normally at this point I would be saying that it will be the opposite of the above, lots of fun with family etc etc Not this year though due to Covid. Not due to the latest restrictions, we made the decision a couple of months ago. No point travelling to meet family, putting them at risk and because of that not being able to relax anyway. We will have a good Christmas though. Presents are bought (if not yet wrapped!), we have lots of food in, Crackers and paper hats at the ready for me and my wife. We will be connecting to family via Zoom, I think we might even be doing a family quiz with each household setting questions. What we do on the day will depend on the weather. A nice crisp but dry day and we will be out walking the dog. A rainy day and we will be watching Christmas films and playing games. I see the National Theatre is even streaming a panto so that will definitely be part of the proceedings! 🙂

If gambling means that this Christmas might not be a good one for you then I would say that what future Christmases are like depend on what you do now.

I wish everyone a very merry, safe Christmas.

[sunny]

Hi Charles!

Thank you for being always here for everybody. You are indeed inspirational and wishing you and your family a good upcoming merry safe christmas!

Sunny

[G Rec]

Great post Charles,

I think the process of looking at how things were when you gambled compared to now is a good exercise to show the positives of working on your gambling problem. Even though I had a bet today for the first time in almost 3 months which I am not proud or pleased about, I can still look at my Christmases in the past and how the thoughts and impact of gambling would dominate them compared to this year where even with the regrettable relapse, I am hoping it will be so much better.

Thank you for all your great help and advice in the past few months as well on the forums and in groups.

[Author]

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