26 September 2022 at 5:54 am #164090
How do I tell my husband? That I borrowed money from people way more than my salary on top of car installment and rent and bank debt will he forgive me. And how am I going to pay back the money that I borrowed . Am embarrassed and ashamed. I need help as in the institution admission not online , yes this forum at some point it helps when I have money I don’t look but when I loose I keep coming on the forum . I can’t sleep ,I can’t eat it keep coming in my subconscious that borrow again this time u will win big and pay all the people debt cz dat the worries you but poof loosing all . I have been have this suicidal that that u can’t pay those people is too much money better end it but again I think of my son not having mom . My family have been supportive but this time they don’t knw I have relapse I don’t think they will forgive me . Should I tell them too who is going to help me with money to pay off the debt I made. Should I involve the HR to pay the dept ? . This time am all alone And is sad . Should I keep trying bet
I play with my heart and it’s affecting my health also
26 September 2022 at 7:48 pm #164129
You have mentioned suicidal thoughts so the first thing i am going to do is give you this link. https://www.befrienders.org/
If you have those thoughts then there is always someone you can talk to there.
There is a saying that is very true – suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is a lot of life after gambling I promise you.
It sounds like you have presented this problem to your husband/family in the past. This time you won’t just be presenting the problem; you can be showing what you are going to DO about it, there is a big difference.
Gambling won’t solvce your problems, it has caused them. Play the tape forward – IF you won then even that wouldn’t solve your problems; it is an addiction and you would just dig the hole again, deper this time because addiction is progressive.
When it comes to your debys, I don’t know what the HR is? Something local to you I am sure.
There are a lot of options around these days when it coees to the finances – from repayment plans through to bankruptcy. Speak to the people you have borrowed from, most importantly they need to know not to lend you any more funds.
You know you can stop gambling, you have done it before. The important thing this time is to keep using support to maintain recovery. We are never “cured” but we can all choose to not act on our addiction and have a great gamble free life.
Keep posting, keep using the support you ahve both here and elsewhere.
Again, there is a lot of life after gambling.
27 September 2022 at 3:01 pm #164180
27 September 2022 at 4:39 pm #164188
Lavende94: you are not alone…
This will be day one for me too (Sept 27/22)
I messed up yesterday…but let’s do this !
We can both get some sobriety….
One day at a time…
Please don’t let anybody or anything
Bother you ..
I’ve always turned to
To soothe raw, angry feelings
Always made me feel worse when I lost
My money to gambling ….
28 September 2022 at 4:47 pm #164249
@Don14765 it fees like ur telling my story
#Day 2 gambling free .
I wake up because of alarm and prepare to go to work . And spend the day Oright
I borrow R1200 from friend and she promised to give on Wednesday.
So I recieved a text from her saying should she send the money or did I get it?
My respond to her was I got it , lying because I was afraid I was going to gamble it.
I had the urges to gamble but I told myself focus DNT be attempted.
I called rehab today to book for an admission for 21days the said they gonna call Monday to let me know if there is available bed for admission
One day at a time ……..
Visiting forum should be my daily basis routine
29 September 2022 at 10:35 am #164278
Day#3 not place a bet
Life is hard 😪 everyday I wake up with a hope to win but I don’t want to go back.i pawn my phone so that I can repay the money I borrowed from people. I feel hopeless 😞, useless mom .no life purpose in this world 💔 and it breaks my heart. Am not coping at work at all , my world is crumbling
29 September 2022 at 9:25 pm #164316
I also want to win- but all these methods:
Casino; online betting, even tickets at the store- they all bring depression
When I lose -they seem all fixed For the house to win ?
I think to not even take a chance
Would be the best decision….
Please don’t feel
And I’m positive there have been times in your motherhood where you’ve made good decisions….
When we’re down -the negative feelings come in…
And when addictions show their ugly face
Please Don’t listen to those negative feelings !
I am aiming to make today another gamble -free day…
I hope you can too
5 October 2022 at 11:49 am #164620
Day#09 gamble free
Thanks you Don14
Guys it’s hard, I had only transport momey to work and thing were better but has this huge urge to gamble but because of I can’t miss the work.
Then today I got the money I waited for. I want to use it wisely for my son , but subconscious says buy voucher and bet u will win some and stop n pay few. Am literally crying bcz the temptation is strong.
But am trying my best. I make sure the money deposited to the account where my husband monitor it. I pray to God everyday to give me strength to overcome this urge and temptation because it’s hard on my own
Am scared everyday I don’t want to start back to day zero. And the urges n temptation. Then mind is powerful
But help me God with you everything is possible.
6 October 2022 at 5:32 pm #164728
Congrats on your sobriety-
I’ve had to reset my sobriety date
BUT! This morning I had $330
That I could have spent on lottery
But instead I delegated the money to a couple bills…
I too, have very strong urges to gamble
And withdrawal symptoms…
An old sponsor of mine
Once said “you have to go through
The pain of change in order to change your life, because we are tired of “staying the same “and losing money all the time..
I often think of that ….
So when I feel strong urges
And I ignore them,
I know I’m doing the right thing
And I’m trudging through the
“Pain of change”
8 October 2022 at 6:03 pm #164854
Day#12 gamble free
But the thought is killing me is side. Today I didn’t have urge to gamble , but dis coming Friday is my payday and I have lot that am owing and my salary cannot cover.
Am struggling to come up with plan . I keep thinking wat if on the same day friday I place a bet , what if I win and I settle some.
This is my reality am facing, and I hope and pray not to bet. LUCKLY I request my husband to monitor the account and currently I don’t have any online betting account but its hard
Hopefully I will pass this Friday without gamble. And pray Monday to get a bed in rehab that am waiting for.
10 October 2022 at 8:05 pm #164973
Hi Lavende. Well done on asking your husband to help with accountability on your account.
What else can you put in place before payday? Could you transfer funds to his account and then get them drip fed back when you need them for non gambing expenses and activities?
How are you going to plan your time for Friday? Somethign to fill both your time and thoughts away from gambling.
12 October 2022 at 12:23 pm #165094
Day #16 gambling free .
And day #2 in rehabilitation institution.
All is well day to day routine trying to fit in . Attending sessions with different facilitator I can see the light ahead I have mixed feelings .
An thanks @charles.
My payday I’ll be at hospital so ders nothing I’ll do n when discharged planing to go home being with family before returning to work
18 October 2022 at 1:44 pm #165478
Lavend94: I’m happy to hear you’ve entered into Rehab-
Sounds like it’s helping and that’s great!
I had some gambling therapy a couple years back…and the counselor I was seeing recommended rehab for 2 weeks for me…
I didn’t go- but might have been a good
Anyway- congrats on your sobriety:)
23 October 2022 at 10:30 am #165817
Thank you Don 😊 your encouragement word
Am day#27 gamble free. Rehab its the best thing that going so well. And helping me with ways coping strategies outside am ready to face the world and be better sobriety for good. This nearly destroy my life.
DON . am telling you go , u will thank me later 2 weeks will be enough please . I nearly took my life . Now am awake from the demonic if possible during ur session ask to have meeting with family and psychology.
I dont think I will gamble ever again it took my happiness away. I want that back . We can’t serve two Master at once God and mamon .
Have blessed Sunday 🙌and 1 day at a time and am focusing on my recovery and I accept my mental illness and seek help thank God it happen wen I still have chances. Blessed u all
23 October 2022 at 3:45 pm #165832jvr3419Participant
Sometimes rehab is just nessicary for people. I’ve been in recovery for along time from addictions and I’ve seen so many people try to do it alone without being removed and monitored in a controlled environment. The percent rate for successfully quitting an addiction is extremely low. It’s proven that it takes at least 30 days to remove the intense withdrawals that come from both substances and or the chemical reactions that occur from something like gambling. The longer you’ve done something the more dependable you are on that chemical change in your brain. It literally becomes out of our control. I definitely recommend rehabilitation to anyone that can and has the chance to do it. Kudos to you lavende94 that takes alot of surrender and willingness. And Don I really hope you allow yourself to do it for you as well. Your a very caring person as I’ve seen you try and support the rest of us here you deserve to look after and care for you now to 😊 wishing you both well on your continued journeys.
25 October 2022 at 3:32 am #166012risingphoenixParticipant
Lavende94, Glad to hear the rehab helped. Yes, there is still a chance to live life as it was meant to be. With joy and happiness. I hope you continue to stay on the gamble free path. There is so much to life once we all get away from gambling!
2 December 2022 at 7:30 am #167858
long time not visit forum
I lost count of days for gamble free . I voluntarily to rehab n came out . Since my last bet 27 September I haven’t place a bet.
This journey is hard suddenly on social media they have been introduced new slot n seems people are winning and it’s tempting but
I don’t want to go back to the gambling world , big regret it’s real , I have coke so far for me to relapse . Just have to stay strong and ignore them
11 December 2022 at 12:39 pm #168290stopgamblingParticipant
By the way, I am new here. I have read all your post and I want to congratulate you for resisting the temptation for more than 3 months already! Keep it up! I hope that I can do the same.
12 December 2022 at 7:07 pm #168351
Well done on your gamble free time Lavende, one day at a time can achieve great things. 🙂
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