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    • #29436
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      Hi, I am new to all this I am unsure what to write I have never really wrote down what I feel about this or how it effects me. I have gambled for about 7 years it has gone from strength to strength with the wins the loses, I have gambled a couple of times today… I am disappointed with myself I just want to give this up completely so I can move onwards and upwards I hate the fact that this is all I think about, I cannot sleep when I do I dream about it. I am looking forward to talking to people in the same situation as me because I am hoping it will help me get to grips with what I am dealing with if I can see it from an outsiders point of view.

      Hopefully speak to someone soon, take care.

    • #29437
      I_Maverick
      Participant

      Hi Kieren,

      Like everyone on this site I am a recovering addict. You did the right thing coming, here, there is lots of knowledge here and I am sure that you will get a comments from the admin soon. I have been almost 2 weeks since my last gamblin binge and this pace is helping. What can you do to put barriers in place – limit accept to money, close you accounts down etc.
      Be strong, and keep posting and people with more knowldge than me will soo write you.

    • #29438
      butchugly
      Participant

      Like you I had a binge yesterday. Just got paid. I worked an extra 55 hours in feb. Just to recover from the damage I’ve done last month. Also to avoid gambling. But my family has suffered because I’m never home. Then I went and did it again last night. I just couldn’t resist. I don’t even enjoy it! I just don’t know how to stop

    • #29439
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      Hi Maverick,

      Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post, it means alot. I have only gone a few hours since my last gambling session 🙁 I have taken a few steps to stop me from gambling which include self excursion from the webpages, have you noticed the adverts on this page? They are advertising online casinos etc!! It does not help when the temptation is in your face like that.

      Once again thank you for your time it is much appreciated.

    • #29440
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      Hi Butch,

      Thank you for replying to my post. I am in the same boat as you I am working 72 Hours a week to try and keep myself busy, I do not enjoy doing it all the time, dont get me wrong I love the buzz (I hate the fact that I love it) I do not know what makes me go into the bookies and onto the online casinos I just cannot help myself. I have a long way to go but the path I believe is being laid before me with the help of this webpage and The Gordon Moody Association.

      Thank you again, Speak soon.

    • #29441
      butchugly
      Participant

      I joined 3 last night. Only played on two. The reason I played on two was because the first one I set a deposit limit. The second was because I set a deposit limit. But because I was doing it sneakily. My partner saw me get my debit card out the second time and I new he would guess I was gambling if I did it third time, so I didn’t deposit. I felt like he was looking out the corner of his eye. So then I looked for a site that accepts paypal. Couldn’t find one that I had already excluded myself from. Had my partner not been home.. God knows what I would have done.. I’ve self excluded from the two I played on. I can’t remember the third site to self exclude from. I just wish I was excluded from all of them.
      I tell you what though. I posted my own topic on hear and I already feel such relief from this pain. How about you? Are u as bad as me? Do u feel a bit better?
      I do hope u stop. Here’s a warning. I don’t even get a buzz anymore. And yet I still do it. It’s now an utter compulsion. Never gives me pleasure anymore. That’s why I’m on here now. I know deep with in my gut that I need support with this. I’m too ashamed to tell my loved ones. I’ve hid it so well. My partner wondered why I had no money last month and I lied. I told him that I reduced my overdraft which left me short. So he ended up PROUD of me. So the guilt is hitting me hard too.

    • #29442
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      Hey Butch,

      It has got to the point with me where I could destroy my debit card and never see it again but that would not help, I know the long card number, sort code account number security code on the back all off by heart. I have told a few family members and a couple of friends it still does not seem real to me or them! Its like I have am taking a backseat and watching this situation unfold in someone elses life. I feel a little bit better for admitting that I have a problem but it still feels like I have weight of the world on my shoulders… I was making up bills with my wages telling family that I had bills here there and everywhere I was spending about 400-500 a month I have cut that right down though I have only spent about 250 this month which I hate and it makes me feel sick to my core saying that out loud.

    • #29443
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hi Kieran , welcome to the site. You have taken your first step to stopping gambling. I too am a compulsive gambler and I am pleased to say I haven’t gambled since December.
      Once we stop life begins to feel better quite quickly.
      The first thing I would advise you to do is ring your bank and report your card lost so you can get a new one. Cut up all other cards. then self exclude from all sites. A great investment would be to buy Gamblock for your computer. This will stop you accessing gambling sites.
      As you have already told some family members perhaps you could ask one if them to take control of your bank account until you feel strong enough to do so yourself.
      This is a difficult addiction to beat but it can be done. Many people on here are living gamble free lives and it feels really good.
      For me it was accepting that I could never gamble like a non CG, that even if I won I could never withdraw,realising the money I have gambled is gone forever and letting it go, and closing all those small loopholes I left just in case ..
      It takes determination to stop but it is so worth it.

    • #29444
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      Hi Sad,

      The last time I gambled unfortunately was yesterday 🙁 I feel so bad but I could not help it! The link was advertised on this webpage we are talking on now!

      I have self excluded myself from all the pages I was registered to, I have also reported my bank card lost today and when my new one comes I have asked my Fiancée to take care of it and control my finances for me. I will have to have a look into the Gamblock for my laptop it sounds like I will benefit from it.

      When you say you could never gamble like a non CG, what does CG mean? I was blowing around £400-£500 a month at one point I had some compensation for an injury to which I blew about £1800 in a matter of hours. I hated and still hate myself for what I do, I just cant wait to find the path to a better life once I have defeated this addiction.

      Thank you for replying to my post it is much appreciated

    • #29445
      butchugly
      Participant

      I think I will report my card lost. It sounds like a good step. I really want to beat this dirty little secret of mine. What I want to know the steps people have used to stop. I don’t want to hate myself anymore. I want to be able to buy things with my hard earned cash.
      I signed up to a new site yesterday. Straight away I set a limit of 100. I lost it!! But I didn’t do anymore. I just played candy crush. Today… I AM NOT GOING TO SIGN UP TO ANYMORE SITES. I’ll let you know if I succeed. Try and do the same and feedback. We can do this Kieran.

    • #29446
      JohnNobody
      Participant

      Hi Kieren you said in your post here “The link was advertised on this webpage we are talking on now”
      there is NO way this site advertises any casinos or gambling sites. Not a chance. Did you actually mean this site gamblingtherapy.com ??

      If you are seeing adverts here it means you must have some kind of malware on your local system. Certainly no adverts would be on here that advocate any kind of gambling. I would run a virus scan on your PC.

      Also CG stands for compulsive gambler. Sounds like you are making some really good choices with handing your card to you partner and the Self exclusion. Keep at it you can beat this if you really want to!!!

    • #29447
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      Hey John,

      Yes John, I meant this site gamblingtherapy.org.uk I screen printed it and emailed it through to the page… I will run anti virus on my laptop thanks for that.

      I am doing what other people have suggested on here and through GamCare I am on a waiting list to go to the Gordon moody association rehab in I think its Bromley I think it will help to see other peoples views on this to help me get a handle on it.

      I really do want to beat this thing, I just cant help myself I wish I was stronger 🙁

    • #29448
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      I have reported my card lost today, the problem was that I knew the card numbers off by heart so I need a new one so I cant use it any more. I am exactly the same I would love to buy my own home and it makes me feel sick to my stomach to think the money I have wasted could have been descent deposit on a nice house 🙁

      I will keep you informed how I get on butch, I have been strong enough today just about but I can feel the temptation creeping up on me as I talk about not doing it 🙁

    • #29449
      JohnNobody
      Participant

      Hi well it must be something on your PC as I can say 100% this site / organization would never link to casinos. Maybe download Malware Bytes they have a free 30 day trial and it is the best to locate and crush any nasties on your systems.

      This it is a superb move to be posting here and on other sites. Keeping yourself active with quit mode is a good way to help stem the urges and by going into the GM program well I have only ever heard good things about this. And by what I have read it is very intense. But good for you on putting yourself forward for this!

    • #29450
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      Hi John,

      Thank you again I will download that and give it a try.

      It is working but its very slowly but surely, I am hoping the GM Program works. I am looking forward to the day I get paid and not have to worry about any urges to blow it al.

      Thank you for your replies I really do appreciate it

    • #29451
      JohnNobody
      Participant

      Dont stress on the moment if GM program will or will not work. Instead give yourself a pat on the back for even applying to go into the program. Take it one day at a time for now and when the time comes to enter the program deal with that as it comes.
      I do know from what I have read the GM program is as I said intense but has helped so many people overcome the addiction / to quit and to stay quit!

      If /when you feel the urges to gamble then post here, hit up a phone line or speak to someone around you. Do anything and everything to overcome that one urge! It will pass they always do its just if we choose to act on them or not which makes all the difference!!!

    • #29452
      Dunc
      Keymaster

      <

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team


      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #29453
      Dunc
      Keymaster

      Hi Kieran

      I’ve seen the screenshot that you sent to Jane. This inst a link from Gambling Therapy, Its a pop up from something else that’s on your computer that happened to appear whilst on GT, if it had been GT generated your URL would have altered slightly.

      I can only assume you’ve accessed gambling sites previously from this machine and as such you’ve become infected by what isn’t necessarily viral or dangerous to your machine its more advertising based on what you do… annoying and a potential trigger for sure…

      As has been advised by John something like “malwarebytes” should remove the issues you have although its not a guarantee, at that point come back to me by email harry@gamblingtherapy.org and I’ll do what I can

      What would also help is to install blocking software https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/gamblock

      Kind Regards

      Harry

    • #29454
      KierenWJCollins
      Participant

      Hi Harry,

      I will try that, sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I have not been feeling to great for the last few days. I will keep you informed as to whether it works or not.

      Kind Regards

      Kieren

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