[liamh35]

Hi, my name is liam and I’m 22 years old, iave been gambling for as long as i can remember now and it feels like vie never known anything else. It’s ruining my life and all my relationships. I can’t bare to take much more, it’s turned me into a person I really don’t want to be. I have told my parents yesterday that I want/Need to get serious help and have explained as much as I can this addiction but the can’t understand it. They are supportive but the suggestion of residential treatment is something they are not overly excited about. My gambling addiction seems to get swept under the rug after a few weeks of them forgetting it but in reality it’s because they know nothing of my life. The lies I tell are constant and I can honestly say i have no idea where the truth is now. Anyway I am going to send the Gordon moody forms today. I don’t want to hurt my family and I know they don’t approve of this and i want to make them happy, I feel like after years of sheer selfishness its time to do something positive with this horrible trait and just say to them that I’m sorry and get the help I want. I really want the help. Im petrified at where my life could be if I can’t get the help. Can anyone tell me what days are like at gordon moody? How it helped them? Do you think that someone would speak to my parents on the phone, I know it’s not there job to do this but maybe if my parents just heard it from someone else of how serious this addiction is? I’m extremely lost right now and I have no idea what is going to happen. See I have just had a read at the Why Gordon moody? Link on he website and it explains me in everyday. Although drug use is never something I have never done or even think about doing. Quite silly really considering I have an addiction an I can justify walkiing into a casino knowing the destruction I’m causing but I could never justify something like drugs and feel strongly that it’s a mug game taking drugs. My parents have explained that they will control my money and I won’t be getting a penny till I have paid them back and there is no way that I will have the ability to go out and gamble. I just want to explain to them that this addiction is a lot more to do with the person i am because the money is not something I miss. The relief i get when my parents find out I had been gambling again is unreal, it feels like I get a whole lot of my shoulders but it’s just short term because it’s before I know it that I’m living inside my own head and too scared to talk about how I am feeling or urges I’m getting. I’m constantly thinking about gambling and extremely ashamed of myself. As I said I’m completely lost and this post seems extremely muddled up, a bit like my head. But I feel strongly about Gordon house, I want in. What’s the chances of me being accepted? I can imagine there is limited spaces. I just want the help, I want to find this higher power that everyone talks about, because right now I have no power over gambling. I’m a horrible horrible person. And I just want my family to understand that what they see is only a part of what i go through and that in reality I’m an absolute fruit loop.
Sorry if this makes no sense and isn’t a good read ha, it’s 5 in the morning and I just had to write something. Also does anyone have a number for Gordon house, the number on the website is not working and id like to speak to someone there.
Thankyou liam.

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