28 September 2021 at 11:10 am #139105DuncKeymaster
I’ve been reading so many posts saying “Back to Day 1” on here and in other forums, I’ve often wondered if counting can be counterproductive or are we using the methodology or the sentiments of counting wrongly
Sure, I know my last bet was 4th July, but let’s face it 4th July is an easy date to remember, however I can say I’ve never counted days… I counted wins but for some obscure reasons I forgot about the losses
Counting is seen as a way of ascertaining a goal in recovery or you could call it a milestone, but Goal works with my thought process, but aren’t goals what we as gamblers do… aim towards a goal that we don’t achieve or when we do, we feel elated, almost unbeatable and that drives urges and bang were back down the same slope we’ve come from
Recovery is a strange word, we don’t recover from this addiction we learn to control the addiction by learning to control our emotions, we learn to convert our negative traits and characteristics into positive characteristics and traits, we create multiple positive coping mechanisms, we face difficult situations from the past, the present and don’t run from them which in some cases can be painful but ultimately less painful than the pain gambling causes… But how do we learn?
Back in school at some point we had to learn simple math 2+2=4, 8×6=48, (10 x 4) / 2 [ ? ] 10 x (4 / 2) = (10 x 4) / 2 = 10 x (4 / 2), as the years go by, sure we make errors, we start solving harder questions, but we get there …. Rarely do we get 100% in any subject though!
We leave school and learn to drive. We take a theory test, driving lessons, take a test, pass, get a licence and throw the “L” plate out of the window… and realise that we know how to control a car, but do we really know how to drive. Gears will crunch, were cause near miss crashes or have crashes, were hit cars when parking, get speeding fines but again ultimately were get there through trial and error and pure commitment
In neither of the above when we make mistakes go back to day one…. We learn through mistakes and don’t make the same mistake twice (Sometimes we do, but hey that’s life” Recovery is the same. Recovery is about learning and moving forward. If you slip and learn then it’s a positive, If you slip and slip again and then learn it’s a positive, if you keep slipping on the same thing then its not time to go back to day one its time to start to look a little closer at why… in a positive way
Counting can be positive however it could easily be negative if you’re going to miss the lessons along the way
3 November 2021 at 3:20 pm #142099asfunurseParticipant
Thank you for your honest post, 1st day on site. Just navigating the site, read your post, appreciated it !
14 November 2021 at 8:02 am #142998NewshoulderParticipant
Thanks Dunc for your post. I relapsed again and the feeling is very close to your post. Last year I relapsed 4 times and it’s always the same story “back to day 1”.
I need to better focus at why.
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