[marriott12]

Hi to all,
A quick introduction about myself. I am a recovering compulsive gambler. My gambling began to spiral out of control within a few months of me visiting the casino. The rush from games such as roulette and blackjack was something that nothing else could compete with for me. Also, there was the feeling that the casino itself gave me. With its extremely well mannered staff, free beverages and VIP service i felt that it was a place i could go to forget the fact that i was getting myself into a massive financial hole and live the imagination that i was some rich, undefeatable and a well respected member of a society that needed me.
My story pretty much goes in the same pattern as most other compulsive gamblers: The wins, the losses, the chasing lost money, the all time low, the one last attempt (which turns into more than one) to recover all losses with the promise of stopping afterwards, the self-destruction and most importantly the cry for help.
I was luckier than most, i have an amazing family and partner who have provided me with more support than i could have ever dreamed of. I attend GA meetings every wednesday, my finances have been taken over (bank cards, id forms etc) and i am able to talk freely to my family/partner about any struggles/cravings i have for gambling.
The feeling that i get knowing that i no longer have to hide my problem along with being able to openly talk about it is a feeling that is i cannot describe.
My last bet was on 07.12.12 (or 12.07.12 if you are American). So far it has only been 26 days, but keeping me away from the casino for 26 hours would have been an accomplishment a few months back.
Above all of the positive feelings i get from not gambling, looking at the clock every night when it hits midnight and smiling to myself knowing that another day has gone by is by far the best.
I also understand now that compulsive gamblers aren’t bad people, we’re just the ones who drew the short straw when our minds decided to have a more addicting nature than others. We are sick people, with a problem that can never truly be fixed. But accepting that fact, along with setting up and maintaining the barriers that you put in place, you, i and every other compulsive gambler can do it.
It may have only been 26 days since my last bet, but for some reason it feels a lot longer.
If there is any way i can help anyone on this website, even just a simple answer to a question i would be more than willing to help.
Thank you for readingThe Steeper The MountainThe Harder The ClimbThe Better The Final View

[stupidgirl34]

Congrats on 26 days. I’m on day 10 and I understand that for some 26 or 10 may not seem like a lot but for us it’s a big big deal. Keep moving forward
Gina
I will make this work!

[desdemona]

Hi Marriot! I can so relate to what you said about belonging to a "society" that needed me and my money. I honest to God felt that I was depriving the casinos and the vlts of money when I started recovery. How insane is that!!! Like I owed them to keep gambling. It is part of the insanity of this disease!  Carole

[Anonymous]

Hi Marriot,  
Thank you for posting on the Gambling Therapy forum.  As you are a GB resident you are entitled to free online support through the Gamcare website at http://www.gamcare.org.uk

 Can I suggest that you now copy and paste your post into one of the Gamcare forums where you will receive responses from others in a similar situation to you from all over the GB.
 
 We wish you well in your recovery.
The Gambling Therapy Team

[Author]

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