Defeated. Broken. Down and Out.

[sheridan28uk]

I’m completely broken and really need some help.

I’ve never been a big gambler until Feb 2015. I was in work, having a small bet on the horses as a festival was on all week and some of my colleagues were betting, looking at tips etc. I won about £90 and was happy. I tried roulette. I placed what i thought was a 25p chip on a number and it came in. It was a £25 chip and I won £900. That was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I was hooked. Within a few months i had maxed my credit cards out to the tune of £10k. I told my then-girlfriend, and we managed to get through it.
Then, the unthinkable happened. My sister had a problem with her fella. She needed me to look after some money. Within two months I had blown £17k. She needed it back to live. I had to tell my now wife ( got married in November 15) what i had done one month after we married. She was devasted. A complete mess. I thought she was going to leave. I had no way of paying the money back. We had to sell the house. We sold the house in April this year. I didnt gamble for 4 months as i had no means to do so.
We got paid for the house. I paid my debts off and we had £50k left in the bank.
Yep. We had £50k in the bank. Looking for a house. Back at her mum and dads.

I have blown the lot. She has no idea. I can’t think straight. Twice she has supported me. There is no way she will anymore. She cant. I cant see a future. She cant be with me. I dont know when to tell her. I just keep thinking can I have one more nice weekend with her before she finds out. Just one more nice night. What kills me more than anything, and ive only just realised. Is that not only have i ruined my life, I have ruined her life. I dont know what to do.

[charles]

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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi Sheridan, well done on looking for help.

Read the other stories here. In the My Journal Forum you will see many stories similar to your own, you will also see the success stories, what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

Your wife is going to find out of course, better that you tell her. What will happen then? Who knows but rather than just presenting the problem again you can show her what you are going to do about it. Show her this siote, get to GA meetings, get yourself banned from where ever it is that you gamble.

She may stay, she may leave. Whatever happens though you are still going to have a gambling addiction.

Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are going to take to address that addiction.

I would however start a thread in the My Journal Forum, it’s a busier forum and you will get more feedback and support there.

[stilltime]

Checking in to see how you are doing?

[Anonymous]

Whilst the amount of money lost is eye watering and the timing unfortunate..many have suffered even worse. many have gone through serious medical problems or worse after drinking or drugs to numb the pain.

you still sound like you are strong and able to cope. the marriage is more important than any money. business people have lost millions and then made a million the next few years, its not impossible.

things can only get better now i hope. be grateful for the good times you already had, and for the people like your wife and sister that need you.

also your problem is short lived in terms of gambling problems. probably less painfull to blow it all in a year than to slowly trickle it away over the decades

[Author]

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