Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 737 total)
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  • #9960
    desdemona
    Participant

    Dear (((Liz)))! I think of you often. I’m getting closer to having you visit me. Just as soon as I get 100% moved to the city, I’ll have time for you and I. There’s so much to do in the city and I’m excited to go to festivals and other events. I received an email about Ruffuss. A couple just lost their 12 year old Bouvier but they live in the next province so I will see if they are interested. I will be able to question them on the phone to see if I think it might be an appropriate family for Ruffuss.  I feel so bad that I have to adopt him out. I made arrangements to get my cable and internet hooked up on July 19th, so will travel the night before, and make sure I’m there all day. Danny returned to the city today to fly out to work early tomorrow morning. Leaving this "marriage" is involving hard decisions when it comes to the dogs. Heart-breaking decisions! Carole

    #9961
    lizbeth4
    Participant

    Hi Carole,  I know how hard it is for you making difficult decisions about your dogs. This isn’t going to be easy and you are doing the best you can.  Take care of yourself and try not to stress too much!Seize all the good things in life

    #9962
    cat438
    Participant

    Dear Carole, you are really facing so many challenges right now.  It must be so hard letting all your dogs go as I know how much you love them.  I am glad that you are doing the move to your apartment in stages as I believe the gradual process of staying a few nights at a time is easier for you.  I am sure that it will get to the stage that you cant wait to get moved to your own place.  I can understand why you have anxiety attacks as what you are doing is not an easy thing to do.  You have definitely progressed so much in moving forward to having a life that you want.  I am glad that you will have your cable, internet soon as it will help to make it more like home.  It is good that Danny has gone back to work as I am sure that it is still a bit stressful and difficult for you when he is there.  Take care Carole!!!!One day at a time my sweet lord…

    #9963
    desdemona
    Participant

    Thank you (((Cat))) and (((Liz))) for your kind, supportive posts. They mean a lot to me. I didn’t sleep well last night hoping that the couple that called the Bouvier rescue organization would be interested in a Bouvier a province away, and most of all that they would be a loving family for my Ruffuss. Ruffuss is very attached to me as I rescued him from the SPCA, where his last owner had starved him, and to this day Ruffuss will not go into the basement, no matter what enticement he is offered. It is not a bit stressful when Danny is at home. It is very stressful as he is being abusive and blaming me for things that are not my fault at all, and getting angry about those things. He is also doing a lot of ****** talking to me, and I got angry yesterday and told him to stop as I didn’t like it. I need to move part of my sectional couch or my kitchen table and chairs to the city on the 18th, so that I have somewhere to sit other than my bed. Danny should be home by then from work so I will see if he will let me use his truck even though the truck box is small as he has a built in tool box in the truck box. It is probably good that I’m moving to the city in phases as it does give me time to adjust. I will not move till the financial agreement is in place, and Danny is working towards that goal. In the meantime I keep cleaning the renters’ house and pay myself, so that I can pay for my rent and utilities in my rental. I had lots of urges to gamble yesterday but managed not to. I keep telling myself that I need that money for my move to the city. I ordered myself a portable air conditioner yesterday for my new place as the bedroom is upstairs and heat rises. It’s been incredibly hot here for the past three days. I need to change out my curtains in my rental as they are flimsy and see through when the lights are on. I bought a pair for my living room but didn’t have anything to stand on to put them up. I love that I have stairs to get to the upstairs level, as it gives me exercise. I plan to start walking when I move. Today I will pack a box of things to move as that will be my one step closer to moving for today. Carole

    #9964
    lizbeth4
    Participant

    Hi Carole, It is good that you are moving in stages.  I will be so glad when you are out of there for good and don’t have to listen to his anger and blaming.  Just keep doing what your doing.  Soon, you will be in your own place and won’t have to deal with him.  Take care.Seize all the good things in life

    #9965
    desdemona
    Participant

    The good news is that I talked to the family that is interested in adopting Ruffuss. I emailed her a picture of him and we will talk after she sees him. She is a pediatric nurse and works casual only. They live on an acreage in the country like we do. Their Bouvier **** at age 12 a year ago and they now feel they are ready to adopt again, and don’t want a puppy. We both sent our emails to the rescue organization on the same day, so it could be fate. They would be adopting Ruffuss around August 24th as they are coming to Edmonton as she has family here and they go to the Fringe theatre every year. It sounds to me like it could be a match made in heaven for all of us concerned, which of course includes Ruffuss. I’ll also be glad when I finally settle in, in the city and don’t have to run back and forth. Carole

    #9966
    lizbeth4
    Participant

    That is good news Carole!!!Seize all the good things in life

    #9967
    desdemona
    Participant

    It is very good news (((Liz)))! I still have to hear for 100% sure that they are adopting him, and I’m sure I’ll hear in the next few days. I’m 95% sure though! The prospective adoptive Mom and I talked on the phone like we were already friends and the conversation was natural and we had a few laughs. I phoned my mother today and informed her that I was leaving Danny. I packed one box today so far. I made myself a dentist appointment for cleaning and to get a filling redone that is wearing thin, for later this month. I am going to do some packing, organizing, and cleaning today of things I want to move. My casual friend Ingrid is having a garage sale on the 13th, and she invited me to participate, but I still have not decided if I will. I have lots of things to sell that I’m not taking. It was my deceased brother Ron’s birthday yesterday. The elephant in the room for me is the two old dogs that I am going to have to euthanize. I look at them and wonder how I’m going to be able to do that. Do I take them both at the same time or on different days? Danny keeps saying that Nikita did nothing wrong and now I’m going to kill her? Those kind of words wear on a person emotionally. And they are meant to! Carole

    #9968
    desdemona
    Participant

    I have an appointment at the vet in 70 minutes to euthanize my dogs. I am feeling anxiety and need to do the right decision for me, and that is to take the dogs in today. I will grieve them but that too will pass. They had a great home with us. Carole

    #9969
    desdemona
    Participant

    Mic and Nikita passed away peacefully this afternoon, and Nikita **** in my arms and I feel so blessed that the end came to her with me holding her. I am doing alright. Carole

    #9970
    kathryn
    Participant

    Oh Carole,
    They were blessed to have you for their mom……
    Thinking of you today,
    Love K xxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

    #9971
    lizbeth4
    Participant

    Oh Carole!!!  I wished I could have been there with you.  I am so sorry!! Hugs))))Seize all the good things in life

    #9972
    cat438
    Participant

    (((((Carole))))) All these decisions and what you are going through is very emotionally draining for you.  Thinking of you!!!One day at a time my sweet lord…

    #9973
    desdemona
    Participant

    Thank you (((Kathryn))), (((Liz))), and (((Cat))) for your support. It means so much to me that I have my friends supporting me during this time. I am starting to realize how beaten down emotionally I have become, and how much control Danny had over me. Every mean angry word he spoke to me, I took to heart. It is going to take me some time to get out from his emotional control. I’m not even sure I want to have a friendship with him after I move for good to my new rental. We aren’t friends now, so how can we be friends after I leave for good. He would still be trying to control me after I left, and that isn’t in my best interest. I can now understand how I escaped my emotional pain through gambling. Ruffuss will be going to live with a wonderful couple in August. As I said before they live on an acreage in the country just like we do, and they previously had a Bouvier, so they understand the breed. I sent them a picture of Ruffuss and they are taken with him. His new Mommy works as a pediatric nurse on a casual basis, and his Daddy is a kind and gentle man who teaches for a living. This new home is truly a gift from God. I will be able to adopt him out knowing that he is going to receive the very best care. I was overwhelmed with grief yesterday about Mic and Nikita, but am feeling somewhat better today after having a few hours of sleep last night. Carole

    #9974
    lizbeth4
    Participant

    Hi Carole,  I am glad that you are feeling better emotionally today.  That is awesome that Ruffuss is going to such a great home!! Once you are in your new place, you can get a clear head and be able to make decisions as whether having a friendship with Danny is a good thing for you.  Take care. Seize all the good things in life

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 737 total)
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