14 February 2013 at 2:24 pm #11194
The destination is recovery and so begins a new chapter of my journey.
From the depths of despair, from pain and suffering I am propelled to begin again.
— 2/14/2013 2:38:49 PM: post edited by P.1 March 2013 at 3:50 am #11195
Thanks Cat you are always so supportive nice to read your post thank you. Well urges have hit can you believe it, yes of course you can, we are addicts we are going to have urges right? Well i certainly am but have decided to read a book and eat some food instead. Good choice today
P1 March 2013 at 11:01 am #11196
Well. Its the first of Autumn here. I think some of you call that fall. Just so tired and full. Just wanted to post as thats a type of commitment to recovery. I will start working on yhe things i need to change about myself soon. Having bad anxiety almost daily.1 March 2013 at 12:46 pm #11197AnonymousGuest
Hi P: Dinner, wine and a good book sounds like a great choice to me. Just get into your jammies and relax with your book. The urges will go away … the damage of acting upon them will not. Stay strong my friend. Love, RG1 March 2013 at 3:48 pm #11198cat438Participant
Hi P, anxiety is a terrible thing to deal with. I also suffer from it and it is so horrible when you can’t relax and you feel so wond up. I have found if I do some Reikki healing hands it helps to calm me. I know it is not for everyone, but it helps me I have given you a link to try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77j9Eu3TWkQ&list=UUU4pPXNcWl8INgotARRLSrQ
It’s not for everyone, but I find that for me it does help
One day at a time my sweet lord…2 March 2013 at 3:30 am #11199nevaParticipant
We’re just starting Spring here in my part of the USA. I don’t think I could bear starting cold weather again! I also have anxiety. My husband says ‘there’s a pill for that, and if you don’t want a pill, they have alcohol for that". Of course he’s kidding but he recognizes how hard certain situations are for me. I hope you find some peace and relaxation today…and tomorrow and on and on. Of course gambling only adds to our anxiety so, lets not do that! Sherry2 March 2013 at 9:15 pm #11200
Thanks RG, Cat and Sherry
Well, it is Autumn here the weather is cooling a little but nowhere near cool like you have. Our cool maybe your warm?
Not sure i get confused with the time and weather zones still all over the place and ive been her for ages.
Things are getting a little better each day but i do have a big sadness in me and i do have some urges today. Oh well, it is life and i have to get on with whatever comes without gambling.
P2 March 2013 at 10:01 pm #11201icandothisParticipant
Hi P, This is our month..The beginning of something new. Not sure what it is, but I can feel it. Sending you love and support.3 March 2013 at 7:22 am #11202
Hi again i feel like i have to post again. Well i am here with a bottle of wine and a pizza. Its amazing the little things i can buy when i dont gamble. Its not just the money though its the state of mind, i have been feeling very depressed but i know it can be a kind of grief when you say goodbye to gambling too, its been my friend in a way. Its temporarily filled the hole in my soul but only while in action. Once out the doors broke and insane in my mind, i was so much worse off. I never want to go back to gambling i really dont. I am having a treat. My son had a treat, friends, food and fun and usually i go without. This time i thought make recovery fun, make it good and worthwhile. If i deprive myself all the time in guilt i will go back to gamble because i feel so bad. if i make this journey enjoyable well hey, i might just be able to do this. i think my last relapse was enough, i really do. I couldnt go through what i just did. I have crawled out of this relapse i really have. It totally flattened me. I dont want to go back.
I was ready for a chat but no one is around at this time i will have to time it better. here is to all of us. On our journeys.
P3 March 2013 at 9:08 am #11203maverick.Participant
Hi P, I like the sound of that “a bottle of wine and a pizza”, you are so right in what you say “its amazing the little things i can buy when i dont gamble” and also so very true when you say “its not just the money though its the state of mind”, I know life in general at ***** can be so very tough and I also know when I make the choice to gamble it only ever leads me to the same place, ok some***** it will take me on a different route there but the destination that I always reach is the same and that place is horrendous, so just for today I choose DESTINATION RECOVERY, I just wanted to wish you all the very best and thank you for all your help and support you have given to me and many others, take care love Maverick.3 March 2013 at 3:20 pm #11204trulyshiParticipant
Wish I had a glass of wine in my hand right now, I would toast you – Heres to P, just look at how great she is doing. I have days where I am really depressed too. I was just reading Betties post about her sister and I had a wonderful memory from my childhood of my sister, it made me smile. Try to think of something that makes or made you happy, P and hold onto that memory for a bit, it may help to chase the blues away. Luv ya, Deb3 March 2013 at 11:42 pm #11205
Well another morning is here but I am having some urges. I will get through them, there are many things i can do this morning. I am changing my boys room around so that he gets a suprise when he is home. I am also going to try to do some exercise today though it seems to be at the bottom of the list as far as my motivation goes. I am finding it hard to settle. i feel restless this is not a good sign but i will not give in, i won’t. I have to stop now, for good, no more relapses, if i go once i am gone.
P4 March 2013 at 12:50 am #11206icandothisParticipant
Hi P, I am feeling restless, too. Like I just can’t seem to fit into my own life. We can do this, P. Hold on!4 March 2013 at 4:12 pm #11207veraParticipant
Thanks for your support and advice P! It fell on deaf ears, unfortunately….what more can I say.
Everytime I gamble. it’s totally my own fault!
I feel very detatched from everything and everyone right now. Just like a robot! The nightmares are back.5 March 2013 at 7:25 pm #11208ready2changeParticipant
Hi P thanks for your post just for today we can stay bet free thats all we have to worry about mind u its 725pm over here and im not sure what your time is where you are im getting a bit confused with everybody on different ***** on here mind you it dosent take much to confuse me sme***** haha. Take care
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