I know this was a topic group, but something happened yesterday that i have not only thought about, but really soul searched.
We had a lady, an alcoholic present at work yesterday. It was quite confronting for me. I truly empathised with this woman, who was trying to stop, who wanted to stop, who had detoxed on the weekend and ‘slipped’ on Monday. She said to me ‘i have no choice’.
Long story short, we tried to get help for her, i dont know what happened and proboably never will. Afterwoulds the boss and i went outside, and she said to me ‘she has a choice’.
In the grips of my addiction, i absolutely, truly believed i had no choice, because the only way the physical pain and the voices in my head would stop would be when i was finally sitting in front of a machine. Having a choice requires at least 2 seperate activities, and my addiction would not allow for a number 2. The only choice was to gamble.
Before i finally, truly started looking for help something changed. I dont know how or why, perhaps it was because i knew i was close to losing it all, perhaps it was the fact that i was realising that feeling physically sick 24/7 was not normal…whatever it was, my brain finally allowed the thought that choice could be a possibility.
it was small, and barely there, but enough that i could work on it. And i did.
I wondered how others here see this…those who have been in recovery for a while, do you think, at the time, there was a choice, and for others who have just found the courage to seek help, what is you take on this?
I told my boss yesterday, what i thought. I dont know if she did, or could ever understand. I hope that i opened her eyes just a little bit, and that the next addicted person who walks through our door will recieve empathy instead of disgust. I hope that our patient got the help she needs, that she takes it and moves forward in her life. All of us deserve that, no matter what the addiction.
Thanks for your time,
Kathryn xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan