[charles]

Ego
We all have one, compulsive gambler or not.  It’s human nature.  Our ego is how we identify ourselves, it’s part of our personality.  Like many things in our personality it can be good or bad.
Mine certainly caused me harm, it kept me gambling for a lot longer that I should have.
If I stopped gambling I would have to admit I had been wrong for all that time.  I would have to admit that those around me had been right all along.  My ego didn’t like that.  Worse, the bookies would have beaten me. No one likes admitting defeat.  Worse again, It would mean admitting that I was unable to do what many people do “normally” and under control.
I gradually did some of those things yet there was one final thing that kept me gambling and that was down to my ego as well.  I had to admit that this was one thing I couldn’t do on my own, I had to ask for help.
Having to find a GA meeting was bad for my ego.  Actually walking through the door was even worse for it, I was finally admitting that defeat, that I was beaten.
From that point though my ego has been rebuilt.  Even during that first meeting it started.  I could see that I could do it; I could stop gambling and could have a great life.  There were others in the room who had stopped gambling and my ego kicked in again quickly – if they could stop then so could I!  I had hope.
Recovery has helped me rebuild both my life and my ego.  Both are now in a far more healthy position than they ever were when I was in action gambling.
As I said, we all have an ego, don’t let yours get in the way of your recovery.
 

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