I’m feeling so low at the moment!! I just want to cry but can’t. I have to put on the happy front for everyone!! You think I would be use to it as like all of us. I have done it in the past for years!! Or seems like years!! I keep thinking it’s my fault although I know it’s not!! Which I keep telling myself. Why did he manage not to gamble while we were separated, then as soon as we decide to get back together he blows the majority of his wages!! I have told him how I feel he said he understands and wishes he hadn’t told me!!! Because he feels bad!! I feel sick and really don’t know what to do anymore!! I bet you all think I’m mad for getting back with him!! I feel I can’t tell anyone as I will be judged. He promised me that things will get better. I so want to believe him.