19 April 2023 at 9:49 am #174603
I want, first of all, to thank you for the thoughtful message I received in response to my email on Saturday.
English is not my main language, so please excuse the imperfect writing.
I read many of the posts here. It’s stories of success and difficulty that motivate me to write now.
I didn’t completely lose control. Family responsibilities keep me from “kicking the bucket”. But I notice that I lose more and more. And I look forward. Each bet is a new illusion. I am very concerned, as I still believe – even though I don’t want to – that it is possible to solve problems by playing games.
I have visual impairment. Entertainment options are very few here. My social life is not very fruitful.
I think that brought the triggers. The prospect of “becoming a champion” at something. Even though I have a rewarding job for the reality of my country, I feel a lot of sadness.
I pray to God, but I end up backtracking.
THE NIGHT DREAM I RECENTLY HAD PROVEN TO ME THAT EVERYTHING IS SPIRITUAL. An obscure voice whispered, “Let him win once, next time he’ll lose badly.” And, testing it, the other day it happened exactly like this! The first bet was a winner, the second a distant loss. Despite all that, I couldn’t resist… Knowing how it works, my brain doesn’t conform.
From small, everyday deposits, like someone who feeds a pet, I see my savings being reduced.
And the pressure of expenses, the stress, the need to solve everything and deal with a disability without appearing too weak in the eyes of others… It corrupts our desire to be better, reducing us… and I know that listening to you will make me realize that there is light and it is possible to see under the fog of uncertainties.
Hope to come back here to continue.
19 April 2023 at 9:51 am #175326DuncKeymaster
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums.
Here at Gambling Therapy, we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum, you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum, so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group on Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
20 April 2023 at 3:11 pm #175349
Tomorrow will be day 1 FB.
Today I feel psychologically very tense and anguish arises after a succession of losses.
I won an amount, was happy and cashed out. The obvious happened: I returned it and even spent more.
The worst is not even the loss, but the fact of advancing, almost reaching victory and, at the last minute, a turnaround in the game.
There are no “turns”, apparently. Who guarantees that the results are authentic and unbiased?
How many complaints are there in sport? What about gambling in general?
Nothing is as innocent as it seems…Nothing is guaranteed or obvious.
The interesting thing is that even when you win, compared to everything that’s gone, it’s almost nothing ;;; If only the dopamine released was enough and we didn’t return to danger. If only life wasn’t so full of limitations.
I cannot talk to my family about the matter, as my decision-making autonomy is supervised. I feel totally trapped, to escape reality I seek these fantasies.
, I decided: ENOUGH!
I started by uninstalling the betting app, deleted the notifications I received about it.
Tomorrow will be a new day.
I’ll have to get over it. It won’t be easy, it never is. But it will be the only option.
Anyway, if I keep at it, the day will come when I stop due to shortages. So better be cautious now.
Knowing that I’m not the first or the last to be like this, something will motivate me… Take a deep breath and move on.
Writing I know I will overcome.
I need to find another “outlet” before it’s too late.
I heard about the terrible feeling of addiction. I never imagined myself in that situation. At least I admit it to myself, there’s no point in denying it.
In every minute, the will arises. Thoughts like: “I picked the wrong game, maybe now the tide will come to my rescue” or “If it worked that time, why not again”. The problem is that, from one hit to the next, there are many mistakes along the way… It’s not worth it, it’s like crossing a forest without using the road, but passing over trees and rivers: who dares to undertake such an adventure?
20 April 2023 at 3:35 pm #175392zoyaModerator
First of all, well done for uninstalling the betting app and you are right when you are saying that, ‘tomorrow will be a new day’.
You can use this new day to analyse the triggers that caused your relapse. Was it a deep-rooted belief that you can still make money from betting? Would you even have regrets about your recent betting experience if you did not return to betting after cashing out and losing your bets?
Although losing money is painful, it can be a good opportunity to realise once again that there is no money in gambling. So, every time you find yourself tempted to gamble, try to remind yourself that ‘the gambling/betting industry is not designed for us to win’. Instead, it was created for us to lose.
26 April 2023 at 4:08 am #175623
Some time has passed.
I feel like I can maintain a greater level of control.
I was focused on personal projects. Work is the best way to divert thought.
The game still appears in the mind as a possible entertainment. But, remembering the volume of losses, I go back and give up on continuing with the idea.
I am managing, little by little, to change course.
I just regret that so much advertising is made available for the most games. What looks like a joke takes on proportions that, at first, cannot be recognized: an act and the consequences remain for months or years.
I also spoke with a friend. He told me that he also lost money and told his experience. He was very encouraging.
Coming here is an equally effective opportunity to learn, and I am forever grateful for every word.
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