5 October 2023 at 9:08 pm #182126hoppyParticipant
This is my first time posting here and admitting I can’t fight this alone. I’ve been gambling since I was 18. It started with sports betting online in my first year of university, then I discovered the blackjack link in the online casinos. I’m sure like many people my first time started with a big win. I thought I had figured out how to beat the system. I am now 24 and over the years my bets have had to get bigger and bigger and I still don’t feel anything. I can’t remember the last time I logged into a bank account and didn’t have to stare at a balance owing on either a credit card or loan. Many times I called my bank to cancel my credit card once I had it paid off, or to turn off cash advances. The bank would tell me no and I would spiral almost maxing the card out and repeating the cycle. All in all now I have about $30k in debt and no idea how I’m going to pay it off. It feels so hopeless and as stupid as I know it is it’s hard not to think that the only way to pay it off is to gamble more. I’ve told my mom and my girlfriend that I struggle with gambling but neither of them know the extent. My girlfriend of 3.5 years would leave if she knew how bad it is and that terrifies me. It makes me feel like I have to do it alone. I’ve tried self excluding myself from every possible website but there’s always another one. I feel like I don’t get any joy from any of the things I used to love and I just don’t know where my life goes from here. I know it’s not true but I feel like I’m in a hole that I will never get out of. Anyways I know that gambling isn’t the answer it’s the problem. I want today to be the first day of a new me but it’s scary.
5 October 2023 at 9:10 pm #182132charlesModerator
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
5 November 2023 at 8:41 pm #184102sarahluna88Participant
I know your situation so well. I self excluded me by nearly 300 casinos worldwide. Until i played on russian sites cause nothing else was left. I know your fear to talk to your girlfriend about it.
I had hide this problem over 5 jears completly from my boyfriend.
Until i diceded in one morning when i woke up and was instantly crying, that i tell him about it. It was no concious decicion, it was uncouncios in the desprerate state of crying.
I took my phone and wrote the whole story down with all details and sent it to him without reading once again.
He was very sad about the fact that i hadnt come earlier to him with this. Since this time, our relationship is much more real and intensive.
When youre hiding something, your partner will feel it. Maybe not concious but unconcios. Especially when its a woman.
Ask your self whats better, be authentic and show who you are, or building an illusion for her.
To stand your ground and putting off your masks, will give you the strengh to start in a new direction.
When you would live a honest life, you need to take that risk. In case she might leave you after all that, she might also not love you enough. But then this relationship might end in every other case sooner or later.
I think its probably more realistic that she stays by youre side, when you really do your best to fight against the problem and look out for solutions.
One thing that helps me, is to give my money away or block the online pay function of my card,
but you can still get paysafe cards in supermarket (🙄🤔 oh i know this so well..)
But you will feel whats to do when you are really honest to your self. I hope you do well. My best wishes, thanks for reading
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