2 October 2023 at 10:42 am #181981ghunter90Participant
Hi, this is the first time I have sourced help. I don’t know where to start. I feel a bit overwhelmed with even taking this first step!
I need to pluck up the courage to speak to my husband about the extent of my issue and hope that he will support me on my journey to recovery.
Where do I start with this journey?! And what should I do first. I really need to stop gambling as its effecting our life and I can’t carry on like this.
2 October 2023 at 10:46 am #181984AntonioModerator
Welcome here and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums.
Thank you for reaching out; taking this first step is incredibly brave. Starting your journey to recovery can feel overwhelming, but it’s a positive and vital decision.
When you’re ready, talking to your husband openly and honestly about your struggle is a crucial step. Together, you can create a support system to help you through this journey.
Remember, you’re not alone in this, and there are people who care about your well-being. Recovery is possible, and taking these initial steps is a significant stride toward a healthier and happier life for you and your family.
Here at Gambling Therapy, we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum, you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum, so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group on Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
2 October 2023 at 3:26 pm #181990
2 October 2023 at 3:28 pm #181998zoyaModerator
Welcome here and just to let you know that you are not alone! Apart from our forum, you can use these resources if you have suicidal thoughts:
I’ll list some crisis support sites here where you can speak to someone:
Befrienders Worldwide allows you to search by country for any local support that might be available:
The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) maintains a list of support lines:
Wikipedia also keeps a list of international crisis support lines here:
There are some practical things you can do immediately to restrict your access to gambling as well as to help you manage your money. From that point, you can then begin to work on repaying any debt that you may have as a result of your gambling.
You can often request to be excluded from gambling websites where you have an account. This is usually done by contacting the customer service department of the website that you use. Exclusions usually start from a minimum of 6 months, but can often be longer.
You may find that installing some blocking software on your computer or mobile device is also useful. It is important to explore these services yourself to decide if they are suitable for you.
Many physical gambling venues such as casinos and bookies will allow you to self-exclude or ban yourself – perhaps give them a call and ask them what the procedure is. And don’t worry, you won’t be the first or last person to ask for this.
It is important to think about how you manage your money. It can help to ask a trusted friend or relative to help you manage your money for an agreed period. It might feel difficult to confide in someone else – but taking yourself out of isolation with your gambling is important.
It is a good idea to combine practical measures with proper emotional help and support. Dealing with the problems associated with your gambling, or that may have led you to gamble, will help you regain control.
You may also find our support groups useful:
A list of the Gambling Therapy peer support groups can be found here:
- This reply was modified 2 months ago by zoya.
8 October 2023 at 3:49 pm #182224velvetModerator
I’m sorry that your post seems to have been muddled with someone else and that you have not had the reply that you deserve.
I think it is good that you want to share with your husband and I understand your feeling of being overwhelmed at the thought.
It is possible that your husband already knows that you have some sort of concern, I speak as a non-gambler who was told after many years of worry what the problem was – I was then able to process it and learn to understand.
Understanding is not and probably cannot be immediate, there may well be angry words. It is important to realise that your husband will need time to digest your message.
I think that it is good to say to him that you are seeking and getting support, that you are not prepared to allow your problem to keep controlling your life.
Maybe you could tell him that you are unhappy with the person you have become, that you didn’t ask for or want this problem in your life. Non-gamblers generally have no understanding until they are confronted by it, but they can learn.
Maybe you could show him this site. I facilitate the Friends and Family group and I would be delighted to welcome your husband if he wanted to come and talk.
We do have a terrific group for gamblers too, run by Charles. He would welcome you and support you through these difficult early days.
Do not despair, you have taken a massive step writing your first post. Admitting to yourself that you have a problem is excellent, sharing with your husband is understandable more difficult.
Allow him to spit a few feathers, after all he is only just hearing that which you have known for some time. I did everything wrong for all the right reasons because I was unaware what the problem was – once I knew I was I able to support the right way.
Please keep posting and hopefully join Charles in his group. I will follow your progress in the forum and I wish you well.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.