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    • #29702
      theend
      Participant

      Hey there,

      I am probably the newest member of this group. I am 25 yo, living in Kosovo. A long-time gambler given my age. It started when I was 17-18 and when i did some “harmless” betting on football matches. It evolved to dog races and computer bingo (KENO) soon after. After about one year i started the crack – slots. Ever since i tried stopping so many times, it lasted up to 3-4 months with absinence, but one weak moment and it was as though i never stopped. In 6 years of slots I have dedicated my life to them. I sacrifices my family, relationship, friends and colleagues. The very much respected young lawyrr I once was was turned into the desperate on the phone guy asking for some money. First from close friends, then from work colleagues and then from relatives to even people i barely knew. Addiction does this shit. You will ask money from people you hung out with once.
      When I first started gambling I ignited a fire which needs to be suffocated off. I hid it several times for day and weeks and even months at times, but it was there, one breeze and I was back.
      I need help, as do we all here. We need each other, as nobody known how painful it really is for us. Sure, when we started it was some innocent habit which i did not understand very well, and at times when i gambled and had a good streak on, it was fun, i had some money in my pocket, but at the downfall (which was 90% of fhe time the case) i was desperate, shaking and even crying because I did what I did. I had played away money to pay the electricity bill, food money etc.
      During this run, I have played away probably 20k+. which in a country with an average salary of 300euro is a lot. Hell, even 10cents spent on that shit were way too much.
      I am hoping and will do my best that the money I lost last week be the very last I ever gamble away. I am becoming an uncle in the next 2 months and I want my nephew to grow up with a normal uncle who dedicates time to him. Ays with him and buys him stuff. I want my life back, my family back, the trust back, my friends back, my fellow students back.

    • #29703
      Liberty
      Participant

      I am not in a brilliant place at the moment but am sure other folks will give you great advice. There are groups on during the week and it would be really good for you to come along and get constructive her,p and advice, you are not alone now you have found this site. I hope that you can go to the chat room groups.
      Like you, I stopped with will power alone but that can’t last forever, so we need to find a new way, which will mean making changes in life, changes for the better.
      Chat soon, take care of you, keep posting on your diary here, sharing your thoughts and feelings.

    • #29704
      Liberty
      Participant

      please don’t give up on posting on your journal, you posted in mine, let us know how things are with you.
      You say you are hoping that the money you lost last week will be the last, hope alone won’t do it, we need to put practical measures in place, I hope you managed to go to one of the new member groups or any others to get the help and support you deserve, as you have learned in the past, doing it alone does not work!
      Congratulations too on the wonderful forthcoming event Uncle 🙂

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