[pharcyde]

I don’t know where to start. I’ve been online gambling for probably 2 years. It started with buying lottery tickets online. The site I purchased the tickets on also has an online casino. I’ve only been to a casino twice in my adulthood and never had the urge to go back. So, I thought playing online would be the same deal. I’d gamble a bit of money and then be okay — no urge. How wrong I was. Of course like most I had “beginner’s luck” and won quite a few times. My husband even comment that I must have a horseshoe up my butt. Playing online helped to distract me from less desirable parts of my life. Such as regrets, shame, loneliness. However, I first noticed that gambling may be a problem when I started to hide the amount of money I was spending. I knew that thousands of dollars a month was not sustainable. But I was chasing the high of winning. Thinking that one BIG win would correct/even out all the losses. Eventually, it became too much and I had to file for a consumer proposal because I couldn’t keep up with bill payments. If it were not for my husband I honestly believe I would have lost my home. Intellectually, I know that Casinos are a business and you’ll ALWAYS lose more than you win. ALWAYS. But up until today I was still playing with hopes of winning the big one. I dislike what I’ve become and wish to change, but I’m scared of the work needed to recover. I’m scared of finding out what this addiction has been hiding.

[Dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[jvr3419]

Welcome pharcyde,

I want to commend you for your courage to take this first step in recovery. It’s a hard road and it’s natural to be full of fear about what lies ahead. I just finished writing on my thread about fear actually I was full of it when I started out this new journey. It’s hard and it’s painful but I promise you its well worth the process of finding yourself and healing. Wishing you lots of strength 😊

[Author]

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