25 August 2013 at 6:52 pm #1337pinkfloyd78Participant
I’ve read so many stories on here and its nice to find a place where others are going through what I’m going through. What I haven’t found though, is any advice on how to deal with a CG on a day to day basis. I mean in specific interactions. If I’m missing it and someone can point me there, please do.
Anyway…here’s my day so far:
So much has happened in the last two days, my head feels like its going to fly right off and its all I can do to keep quiet and try to stay grounded in my own truth. Number one, the 40K a year job offer I got – is no longer an offer, but a rejection. They offered me the position, made me wait a week (claimed the renovations weren’t complete) and called me back just to tell me they have decided to go with someone else.
Number 2, my CG received a random check in the mail for 3,000 dollars. My immediate panic was obvious. Here I sit with only one contact lens in my eyes because I can’t afford another one, bill collectors breathing down my neck because I can’t send them a dime, basic needs being ignored because I have no money of my own, and he gets a 3,000 dollar check that I’m sure he will go gamble away. The dread was instant and when he asked me why I wasn’t excited about how it was going to help "us" I was honest with him, which of course started a fight.
Number 3. The 3,000 dollar check is made out to him and his ex wife. When he called her to let her know he needed her signature, she agreed yesterday, and now today has decided she wants half. He of course is not having it. He’s extremely pissed off, yelling about how she owes him and its her fault they lost the motorcycle, boat, house, blah blah blah..and she’s not entitled to a dime. She is remarried and her husband is encouraging her to go after half and here we sit. I find it hard to believe that I met him at the beginning of his addiction and pardon the pun but I’d be willing to "bet" she had this same issue with him and I just don’t know the half.
I’m finding it difficult to know how to feel either way. Sadly, I’m almost thankful that she’s giving him a hard time because to me it just shows that maybe something bigger knows he’s not a good steward of money and the universe itself is trying to prevent me from enduring any more pain. But I know it’s really not about me at all and that’s probably a silly way to think. He’s already lied to me today about how long he played poker online this morning. I checked the bank statement and he threw away $300 in a matter of hours, leaving $50 bucks for us to live on for the rest of the week.
Its very difficult not to get angry and lose my temper about that, but I know from experience its a dead end street, so I have to just sit back and watch. A huge part of me wants to contact her and ask her if this was going on when they were married, because of course I only hear his side of the story every day. Trouble is, if I even mention to her what I’m dealing with, she’ll use it against him, and I"ll end up in deep **** with him for talking to her about it at all. I already made the mistake of venting one night on facebook about gambling addiction (without using his name) and all hell broke loose with his step children going off on me for "airing his business", etc. I just don’t know where to go from here.
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