[badapple702]

Hi everyone,
Glad I found this site. I was raised in Las Vegas and watched my Mom gamble my whole time growing up. She won, but probably just as much as she lost. I stood nearby in places like Circus Circus and Sam’s Town hoping she’d just lose so we could go home. Once I got older, I didn’t go out to dinner with my parents to avoid having to stand around and do nothing, you cannonlyngo upstairsnatbCircus Circus forms long or hang out in the arcade before you’re bored. My Dad would sometimes go home and go back and get her; I think it bored him too. He’d play sometimes, but not like she did. I didn’t realize it until after she passed, but she gambled because she was depressed her whole life. I think she thought of it as her therapy. I saw that she won and we never had money issues as a family; therefore in the back of my mind I always must have thought this. I chase it. I can go for months and months and not gamble. But when I do, win or lose, I sometimes chase it. I hate the feeling afterwards of realizing what I could’ve used the money for.
I have a question: is playing online gaming for free (like bingo & WSOP) considered gambling even though they are free? Part of me says yes and part says no. One thing’s for sure, they prevent me from spending my real money in a casino.
I started Celebrate Recovery at my church last week. It’s basically the same 12-step process as GA, AA, etc.. I like the fellowship with other ladies in my group and leaning on one another, and am learning about myself. It’s a year long program. I’m sure I’ll get to where I need to be, gambling free, by the end of the program. If not, I’ll,try the GA at a local meeting here in town.
If online doesn’t count, I’m on Day 8 of not gambling. If it does, well, I guess tomorrow will be Day 1. Thanks for listening.
Btw, if you like James Garner (yes, THE Maverick, movie & tv actor), please check out my blog at http://29coveroad.tumblr.com. See ya around and God Bless y’all on your journeys to becoming gambling free.
Xoxo

[trulyshi]

Hey bad, welcome to GT.  I think that free online gambling is still considered gambling.  It can trigger feelings and urges.  Finding other ways to fill our time is much more desireable.  My mom was a gambler too, she loved bingo and casino slots.  My sister is a gambler and my dad and brother were alcoholics.  Wow, perhaps the genetic thing about addictions is true, lol.  I have been in serious recovery for over 3 months now, by that I mean I have been gamble free.  Prior to that I spent about a year slipping and falling, dusting myself off and starting over.  You are probably right about your mom gambling due to depression, I was in a bad situation the past 4 years and used it as an excuse to continue gambling.  I was very depressed and unhappy.  Glad you have joined us here and your church group sounds great.  Debbie

[bettie]

Hi BA,
Yes, online games, wether for money or not are concidered gambling. If you have abstained from your usual gambling then give yourself credit for the 8 days because God knows the financial and emotional dammage you were able to avoid!
Good on you for going to the spirtual recovery group. Most of us CG’s have a load of spirtiual defects so not a bad place to start.
Don’t be afraid of going to a GA meeting-you can’t get too much support for this lousy afliction.
nice to meet you here!
bettie

[Anonymous]

Hi BadApple. Was good to have a brief chat yesterday !
Gambling was always on my mind 24/7 too – analysing it now, I know exactly why; when we gamble for such a long period, we lose track of the person we were beforehand; debt, worry, misery, *****, obsession with odds, form, machines and obtaining the money to gamble becomes the norm, the everyday. We become so conditioned to it that we don’t know any other way.

There is no way you can gamble yourself out of trouble. Fix that amount in your mind that you need to help you, then add another nought at the end – would it make you stop? Would you sort everything out and pay off your debt? Absolutely no chance my friend – that euphoria you would have experienced in winning that money would be something you would want to repeat within hours, the comedown would be huge and not something you can handle, despite what you tell yourself.

If you truly want a fresh start, then it is zero tolerance; it’s all or nothing. you say you hate the feeling afterwards : you can change, it won’t always be that way, in a few months, you may feel totally different. It is all in the mind – if they outlawed all forms of gambling tomorrow, you would have no choice but to feel better. You will get urges but learn to work your way through them my friend – they soon pass; you may be haunted by these thoughts for some time but they gradually lessen and you will gain more strength to fight them along the way…..these are the beliefs that I am grasping onto too presently. Live not in the past but now.

We gamblers are not patient people, this is generally why we relapse. This is what you must learn if you want to get through this, you have to wait it out until you start feeling better – it isn’t easy but there have been many hundreds here who have come through it over the years, I’ve read the stories and it gives me hope

Be strong, be positive; I lost around £300,000 over the years – I have regrets about that money but more so I sincerely regret all the time I wasted doing it. Gambling is a self-destructive entity, focus your efforts on things that give you genuine fulfilment. You can get through this but it will take you time my friend – accept that and accept who you are. You can’t change what has happened but you can certainly change your future.

Uncontrolled
 

[Dunc]

 
Hi Badapple, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
I’m in total agreement, free gambling can cause as much damage as gambling. In cases ive seen over the years those whom chose to play free games rarely make recovery easy and those whom are in recovery and start playing free games have been known to return to gambling. To an extent gambling and gaming addiction have the same negative traits.. the only difference is gaming is free once the game is purchased
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.  
Take Care
HarryWatch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

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