Get practical support with your gambling problem Forum Poetry Corner ‘GA’ and MY gambling journey

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    michelle64
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    ‘GA’ and MY gambling journey
     
    I look back, but try not to dwell
    At my life of pure gambling hell
    I felt I had to give up and get well
    because inside I felt so unwell
    My head felt so emotionally sick
    and my body as heavy as a brick
    but I couldn’t stop and I felt thick
    inside the penny just didn’t click
    I often asked myself ‘why oh why?’
    to gambling I couldn’t say bye
    but gambling was my main al-lie
    it gave me such an incredible high
    High when placing that first bet
    when playing I could often forget
    I needed the adrenaline rush sweat
    and I forgot about gaining more debt
    I was fixated by the blasted machine
    the noises and the colour of the screen
    getting the features I really was keen
    winning was like the ‘cat who got the cream’
    But to be honest I hardly ever won
    I often wandered what I’d done
    to my head I needed to place a gun
    It was serious now and no longer fun
    What I was doing was totally insane
    because of it I got more strain
    gambling had become my life’s bane
    and I promised myself never again
    But within a day or the next week
    the gambling buss again I did seek
    after another loss my life was bleak
    I actually felt inside I was so weak
    In front of the machine again I’d stand
    for far more time than I had planned
    I actually needed to be banned
    my gambling had got out of hand
    The machine I could no longer meet
    by the machine I had been beat
    a ‘nemesis’ I could no longer compete
    I actually sat and admitted defeat
    I felt I had to swallow my pride
    by telling someone about my secret inside
    I went to GA and I talked and cried
    I really just wanted to run and hide
    But it was great sharing and getting it out
    I expected the others to just shout
    but they seemed to know what it was about
    after talking to them I felt less fear and doubt
    While I was talkingto them in a low tone
    I no longer felt that I was doing it alone
    I explained about all the money I had blown
    and how into a deceiful person I had grown
    Going to GA suddenly felt so fine
    and it sent a wierd tingle up my spine
    knowing the addiction was not just mine
    with GA, maybe for gambling I wouldnt pine
    I went to GA night after night
    It started to feel less of a fright
    There were others like me in my sight
    being there started to feel alright
    I knew GA’s help I needed to seek
    as I sat there and listened and began to speak
    I realiaed then that I wasn’t a freak
    and I no longer felt terrible and weak
    I was able to honestly declare
    as I sat in my GA chair
    I started to feel less panic and fear
    I found that I could honestly share
    I have continued to go to GA
    and said what I needed to say
    in order for my gambling to stay away
    it’s no longer MY way, but the GA way
                                                Michelle64
     
     

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