[michelle64]

‘GA’ and MY gambling journey
 
I look back, but try not to dwell
At my life of pure gambling hell
I felt I had to give up and get well
because inside I felt so unwell
My head felt so emotionally sick
and my body as heavy as a brick
but I couldn’t stop and I felt thick
inside the penny just didn’t click
I often asked myself ‘why oh why?’
to gambling I couldn’t say bye
but gambling was my main al-lie
it gave me such an incredible high
High when placing that first bet
when playing I could often forget
I needed the adrenaline rush sweat
and I forgot about gaining more debt
I was fixated by the blasted machine
the noises and the colour of the screen
getting the features I really was keen
winning was like the ‘cat who got the cream’
But to be honest I hardly ever won
I often wandered what I’d done
to my head I needed to place a gun
It was serious now and no longer fun
What I was doing was totally insane
because of it I got more strain
gambling had become my life’s bane
and I promised myself never again
But within a day or the next week
the gambling buss again I did seek
after another loss my life was bleak
I actually felt inside I was so weak
In front of the machine again I’d stand
for far more time than I had planned
I actually needed to be banned
my gambling had got out of hand
The machine I could no longer meet
by the machine I had been beat
a ‘nemesis’ I could no longer compete
I actually sat and admitted defeat
I felt I had to swallow my pride
by telling someone about my secret inside
I went to GA and I talked and cried
I really just wanted to run and hide
But it was great sharing and getting it out
I expected the others to just shout
but they seemed to know what it was about
after talking to them I felt less fear and doubt
While I was talkingto them in a low tone
I no longer felt that I was doing it alone
I explained about all the money I had blown
and how into a deceiful person I had grown
Going to GA suddenly felt so fine
and it sent a wierd tingle up my spine
knowing the addiction was not just mine
with GA, maybe for gambling I wouldnt pine
I went to GA night after night
It started to feel less of a fright
There were others like me in my sight
being there started to feel alright
I knew GA’s help I needed to seek
as I sat there and listened and began to speak
I realiaed then that I wasn’t a freak
and I no longer felt terrible and weak
I was able to honestly declare
as I sat in my GA chair
I started to feel less panic and fear
I found that I could honestly share
I have continued to go to GA
and said what I needed to say
in order for my gambling to stay away
it’s no longer MY way, but the GA way
                                            Michelle64
 
 

[Author]

Posts