22 December 2015 at 11:29 am #4457SheenaParticipant
I am at my wits end. Son gambler. Rehab but relapsed. Spent all wages again. Whole family upset. Owes money all over place.22 December 2015 at 11:38 am #4458DuncKeymaster
Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.
Feel free to use the friends and family group, youll find the times for these if you click on the Group times box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself youll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and theyll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂
If youre the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isnt connected with GMA, please dont identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.
Youll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which youll follow, some you wont…but thats ok because only you fully understand your
situation and whats best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you dont because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂
We look forward to hearing all about you!
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our22 December 2015 at 2:15 pm #4459
I am so glad you have found your way to this forum, I understand exactly where you are coming from and I hope that maybe with sharing you can find some peace for you and your family.
Your post deserves more than a few lines written in haste but I wanted to let you know you were being heard and understood. Unfortunately I cannot give your post the time it needs as I have to go out now but it would be great if you could come in to the Friends and Family group tonight between 20.00-21.00 hour UK time when we can communicate in real time.
It will probably not be a large group and being a busy week it may possibly be just me – I will write again to you anyway but please don’t despair. The group is like sitting together in a couple of comfy chairs – very warm and welcoming. I hope to ‘see’ you.
Well done posting – I know how hard it is
Velvet22 December 2015 at 9:03 pm #4460
I’m sorry you didn’t make the group – hopefully next Tuesday.
To support you better Sheena, it would help if you could give me a little bit more of your story. For instance – how long has your son been out of rehab, did he tell you that he was gambling again or did you notice the same old behaviour reappearing?
I don’t know how much you know about the addiction to gamble but knowledge will give you power over it and with that in mind I have brought up my thread ‘The F&F Cycle’ which I think will reflect your son’s behaviour, certainly pre-rehab.
Your son will have learned in rehab that he needs to take responsibility for his actions if he is to control his addiction. He will know that his gambling debts are his responsibility but this will probably not stop him trying to get you to clear them. It is tough but clearing the debts of a CG (compulsive gambler) is the same as giving a drink to an alcoholic – it feeds the addiction and allows it to grow.
Does your son live with you? When he first left rehab did he seem different? CGs who have begun a true recovery are often lighter in mind having put a great burden down – but early recovery isn’t easy and there is often a void in their lives. In my opinion early recovery is the toughest time for both the CG and those around them. Families don’t usually get the tools to cope that a CG gets in rehab. Indeed when I first came on this site years ago I was told that because my CG was in recovery, I didn’t need support – I felt I needed it more than ever. When my CG left rehab I had no idea how to behave or speak to him. Through luck and not judgement I asked him to help him. It took time and the strangest thing for me was realising that he had to learn to trust me – he need to know that I had changed too, that I was willing to go the extra mile in spite of all the years of mental devastation.
I’m sorry there are so many questions. There is a lot of support and experience on this site and I want to try and give you the support that is right for you.
I will leave it there for now and await your response.
Velvet22 December 2015 at 11:12 pm #4461worriedmamaParticipant
My son is a compulsive gambler also. He has never gone to rehab but goes to GA. He has had a few relapses along the way. It is a very hard and mentally exhausting road being the mom of a CG!
Keep posting… it helps to share your struggles!
Cathy29 December 2015 at 9:02 pm #4462
I am sorry you didn’t make the group.
Please post again.
Velvet30 January 2016 at 4:02 pm #4463rahulagarwalParticipant
I’m little a known person about gambling. But very much interested about it.
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