[reds]

Hi all – I first started on this site about 8 months or so, had been gambling about 2 years.  I was told by one of the counsellors that people who took action and made changes were usually the most successful.
It was suggested I ban myself and seek couselling and go to GA.
I recognized that it was good advice but dragged my feeet, as I was afraid that banning woud be embarrassing.  Or so I said.. the truth is I was not ready to admit I was unable to control my gambling.  After coming into the opportunity to gamble I slipped and went on a 2 day binge.
But then finally accepted it – I cannot gamble at all.  So I have banned myself from the casino and now been bet free for 36 days.  I found  that banning was a huge relief – I no longer think about gambling because I cannot.
A few CG’s I met online have offered tremendous support for my decision and I am so grateful to them. I know that we are all different and different tools work for different people – I have been blessed with good support from family as well.  There are always things I need to work on and I am feeling better now that my head is out of  the casino.
I  have hope now..
Reds 

[vera]

Reds did you move to your new house yet?
Busy but exciting!

[reds]

***** all –
I had a great time over the holidays and am ready to get back to normal now.  My hubby and I painted the 3 rd bedroom yesterday and I finally found a carpenter to hang the new front door.  Will also start looking for work this week.  And I’m feeling serene.  Once I finally accepted that, when it comes to gambling, I cannot win, I no longer want to try.  Now I have other things to work on.  Exercising more. Eating less. Being kinder. 
Wishing you all a Happy New Year . 
redsJust for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[pumkin113b]

Nice Reds      Pumkin

[vera]

I wish I could follow some of your good example Reds!
Well done ! Working with hubby is a great idea. That means you cant disappear to gamble, but you don’t want to do that anymore!
Happy New Year! I’m heading out to work now. Very stormy weather here today.
Odaat!

[desdemona]

Dear Reds! Way to go on making it through the holidays without gambling. Going to Edmonton is my biggest challenge in terms of wanting to gamble at the casinos there, even though I am banned. My friend from Edmonton is here visiting and her husband drove her down here, and I will be driving her back to Edmonton when she decides she wants to go home. I have decided to bring my 2 year old granddaughter to the city with us, even though she is a domestic terrorist, and has to have everything her way, or she throws huge fits. it’s worth putting up with her behavior if it totally closes the door to the opportunity to gamble. The things we do for our recovery!! Happy Recovery Day! Carole 

[reds]

Dear Carole – I know what you mean about Edmonton, I have fond memories of walking out of the downtown casino with lots of cash, but only because my Greyhound was leaving !!  Otherwise I would have frittered it all away.  Funny how we remember the good ***** but don’t want to dwell on the bad.  Have a nice trip to Edm. with your GDaughter – she will keep you on the straight and narrow for sure
and Vera – thanks for your post, let’s make this a good calendar year for both of us !! It woud be my first gamble free year since I started. That’s something to get excited about.  I was supposed to paint today, walked into the reno house to get something and left my keys inside.  What a great excuse !! Oh well, I have plenty of laundry to do at the other houseJust for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[i am hope]

Hi Reds
Was nice to see you in chat and probably wouldnt have had i not been awake at 2 45am. Could not sleep due to squeeling bats outside the window, so got to bed at 3 30am and got up at 6 so i am a little sleep deprived. But it gave me the opportunity to see people i normally wouldnt see at that time. Keep going with your recovery, here is to a gamble free 2012
Living with Hope

[reds]

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Dalai Lama

thought for the day.

 Just for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[reds]

the White ***** says to Alice: "It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards".  Lewis Carroll.
Isn’t it strange where we find inspiration ???  Let’s try to keep our memories working forwards…Just for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[desdemona]

Dear Reds! Sorry to hear that you’re so sick with that cold. Hope you feel better soon! Lots of rest and fluids and some "I feel so sick," comments to hubby, so that you get a little sympathy from him, should do the trick to get you on the road to recovery. Carole

[reds]

Hi Carole – Thanks for your kind words.  I am not sure what is going on, but have had symptoms of sinus infection and earaches for weeks now and the bug seems have moved into my lungs.  Unfortunately there are no physicians in this town taking new patients, all there is is a walk-in clinic.  I have been there twice and am not happy with their service. The place seems to be frequented by **** addicts looking for Oxycontin and they treat everyone like a **** addict. The first words out of their mouths are – You are not getting any Oxycontin. I am going to color my hair this AM and buy some more decongestants and try to carry on .  The running and dieting didn’t last long, I have done some emotional overeating lately.  But I did find a cute top to wear in Chicago.  Take care..Just for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[desdemona]

Dear Reds! What about going to the U of A Hospital or the Royal Alex to Emerg and see somebody there. Then you can get whatever they deem necessary such as chest xrays, throat swabs, etc. I’ll even meet you there if you tell me when and we’ll sit in Emerg together because it usually takes hours to be seen. Carole

[reds]

thanks Carole, but I have had this problem before and it does resolve on its own. The sore throat is settling down already although the chest thing takes longer.  I have to work here tomorrow and get my hair cut Friday here, the decongestants do help so will wait a bit and see.  Then I’m off to Edmonton to care for my granddaughter while her Mom and Dad go to Las Vegas with friends.  ON Tuesday, back here, Work Wednesday and then Chicago.  Time is flying by .Just for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[lizbeth4]

HI Reds, Get better soon!!  You’re going to Chicago soon, fun!  Take care!Seize all the good things in life

[icandothis]

Reds, Good to see you in chat.  Have a great time in Chicago.  I just love Chicago!  To see each other in person would be such a treat!

[cat438]

Hi Reds, get better soon.  Do  you think your allergies could be dust with renovating the house. I am so excited for you going on your trip.  You will have a great time. 
I am reading about your running and not eating DQ Blizzards and thinking… WOW, has that lady got will power.  I am still procrastinating about getting my butt of the lazy boy and doing some walking.  I was out at an event for work and I had to do quite a bit of walking.  I could not believe how much better I felt after I did all the walking… so now my goal is to get addicted to walking and exercising… a girl can dream can’t she… or I should say a Granny can dream.
Take care.  Wishing you a day free of gambling and a wonderful recovery day.One day at a time my sweet lord…

[i am hope]

Hey reds
hope you are feeling better soon, have a great trip
 Living with Hope

[reds]

Good news today – my son and DIL had a heathy baby boy this AM – the baby does not have Down Syndrome as the ultrasound indicated.  I feel a great weight off my shoulders, have nothing of any consequence to worry about now.  Life goes on, had a great vacation in Mexico, am trying to lose weight, working on the home renos,  and now I must go shop for baby gift.  Planning a trip to the city soon to meet the little one..Just for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[vera]

Congratulations on your new grandson, Reds! What a relief that he is well and healthy. Of course if he had Downs Syndrome he would be equally welcomed and loved, but it is a relief all the same. Just goes to show Ultrasound equipment is not always accurate! Thank God the parents didnt make any "rash decisions" as a result of the indication!

[desdemona]

Dear (((Reds)))! I had been hoping that the ultrasound had not been accurate. Like I said in a previous post, I’ve heard of other couples that have been told their baby was going to be born with DS, and it hasn’t come to pass.  So happy that baby is healthy! I agree with Vera that the baby would have been welcomed no matter what. Carole

[paul315]

Originally posted by reds

Good news today – …
Just for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

Good to hear form you Reds, and good to hear about the good news concerning your grandson.  Another event without any consequence to take from your peace of mind.
Take care, stay strong and visit often.
God’s speed.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[bettie]

Hi Reds,
Congrats on your new baby grandson.
My down stairs neighbor’s little guy is always asleep when I see him. I came home yesterday to a note "from Noah". His mom left a note and said maybe I would like to see what he looks like a awake and gave me his birth anouncement. Such a sweet beautiful baby.
bettie

[reds]

Thanks for your kind replies, Vera, Paul, Bettie and Carole..
Vera, you are right, the baby would have been welcomed no matter what, but I really never appreciated what a blessing a healthy baby is… things like the gender seem so unimportant now.  I hope you are enjoying a gamble free life, as you deserve all the peace it brings. 
Carole – you were right that ultrasounds have their limitations, for sure. I think the hardest part was waiting and not knowing what would happen, but we never know what life will throw at us, do we.  Trying not to worry is hard when you want your children’s life to go smoothly. 
So today I live my life in a state of gratitude for the many good things that are happening.  Stay strong my GT friends..

[icandothis]

Hi Reds, Congratulations on your family’s new bundle of joy!  I can only imagine the stress and mixture of emotions you were experiencing during your DIL’s pregnancy.  Also, those of your son and DIL.  Blessings to all!!! 
Modern Science???

[reds2]

***** all – I was having problems logging in, have now resorted to re registering as reds2.  I do still read the forums, and am continuing my journey of recovery.  I have gambled twice already this year, twice in 2011 and twice in 2010.  Still  playing with fire, but still resolved not to be dragged back into the gambling lifestyle which caused me so much sress.  Today is a new day and it will be a gamble free one.
reds.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Reds, Congrads on the birth of your new Grandson.  Thank you for your recent post, it meant alot to me.  I am soo happy he was born healthy.  Take care and stay strong.Seize all the good things in life

[vera]

Hi Reds!
Just saw your post on Bettie’s thread!
Hope your dad is doing well and coping and also hope your new grandson is thriving and bring joy into your life.
Where does gambling come into all these cycles of Life?
I often wonder!
 

[reds]

Hi Vera – Where does gambling come into all this indeed ??
I’m signing off for the summer, no internet access until Oct., will miss hearing from you.
At least I will be in a safe place.  Life goes on, saw the new grandson last weekend and he is thriving.  My  Dad seems to have hit a plateau, Mom coping well with all the changes.  And I still feel sooo grateful for all the blessings in my life.  My husband too has been changed and is content with his life, I can honestly say we have never gotten along better.  I have been focusing on my health, going out for runs and walks and am trying to break my addiction to sugar.
Life without gambling can be very good, and I am now seeking contentment and serenity, not drama and excitement.  A counsellor once asked me – If you were being the best person you could be at this point in time, what would that look like ?  Still so much room for improvement, but one day at a time…
redsJust for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[vera]

Reds!
Glad I saw you before I signed off!
Early to bed and early to rise. I might go to the Group for 5 minutes.
We will miss you for the long summer. I hope it goes well for you. You ll be like a silent monk. Will you be able to continue walking there?
The baby must be getting chubby now! I love babies My niece has a brand new baby girl. I didnt get to see her yet.
Hope your dad remains stable and that your mom gets help. Its a hard road for her to travel. And she has no choice.
Shame on us for making so many selfish choices.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers Red. I think of you often.
 

[paul315]

Originally posted by reds
Just for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

Good morning Reds,
Your closing words say a lot about this addiction and our need to work at recovery "just for today", an addiction that is more than a financial problem and has more that financial consequences, e.g. as you say it steals our time, freedom, and peace of mind.
Even if you have to sigh off here for the summer, keep your mind signed onto what you need to carry you forward.
God’s speed. Stay strong.  Keep active. LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[reds]

Hi All –
I’m back to civilisation – Trying to get used to the new GTsite, it will take some time, I’m sure.
Thanks to Larry, Vera and Bettie for your posts.
I had 5 weeks off work with my husband being off work as well. That was scary as our jobs both finished the same day in Oct. and the future was a big question mark. We got busy with the home renovations, did some more painting, and put new floors down in the kitchen and dining room, and they do look nice, it is starting to look like a home at last.
My husband and I were offered new jobs and started them on the same day two weeks ago. Mine involves 13.5 hours of work 4 days a week, so not a lot of spare time to catch up on everyone else’s threads, sorry. The job is temporary and could end at any time, but I am fine with that.
I still shudder when I think of gambling and all I lost and could have lost, but I am moving on.
Enjoying life and trying not to let the cold weather get me down, it is so hard to be stuck indoors.
My Dad is getting close to being placed in a facility where he can be cared for as my Mom is getting so exhausted.
We had a scare a couple of weeks ago when he wandered outside and got lost 2 houses away. When he tried to get into the neighbors house they brought him home – it was 2 AM and thank God the weather was mild then, and he ended up where someone knew him. Mom had some locks changed so he cannot escape again.
I am going to a Christmas party close to town this weekend which will involve a stay at a nice 5 star resort, looking forward to that, meeting some new people from my husband’s new job, and just escaping from the daily chores.
Looking forward to Christmas at my sister’s house and a visit with the grandkids at Christmas time.
Setting some personal goals, trying for more patience and positivity. So good to see so many of the old gang still here and welcome to all the newer people on the site. I will post some more when time permits….

[charles]

Hi Reds, welcome back it’s good to see you. When you work out the new site hopefully I will see you in a group sometime soon.

[desdemona]

Hi (((Reds)))! I changed my user name from Carole to Desdemona. Nice to see you posting! It sounds like you’re close to finishing all the renos in your house! That scenario with your Dad could have ended very differently, and good to hear he ended up somewhere safe. One of the doctors in CL had his Mom living with them and she ended up going outside in the middle of the night and freezing to death in their backyard. Dementia is a cruel disease. I can well imagine caregivers getting exhausted, and the need for placement to somewhere safer for the affected person. Your Christmas plans sound lovely. We are taking 2 of our grandkids to Disneyland on Dec 13th, so I am looking forward to getting away from the snow for a bit, and a change in scenery. Carole

[p]

So good to see your post and read you are ok and you are not gambling. That is wonderful.. Its either people come back after a time and say they relapsed or they come back and say they have just been getting on with life and i am so glad yours was the latter. Glad you are back and living the gamble free life, it gives me hope.

P

[desdemona]

Dear (((reds)))! I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I am living in the city. If you have some time and come to the city by yourself, I’d like it if you would phone me and we could go for lunch. Carole

[reds]

Hi (( Carole ))
Good to hear from you – I do still have your number and would like to get together when I get to the city next time – it sounds like we have a lot to get caught up on, for sure. Stay well and let’s try to keep in touch. Last time I went to the city I did not gamble, so far gamble free in 2014. One day at a time…
reds.

[vera]

Good to see a post from you, Reds!
I think of you often!
Stay in touch. Maybe we will meet in one of the groups soon.

[reds]

Thanks to Charles, Desdemona, p and Vera for your kind posts. I apologize for not being on this site more often, I am busy with work and taxes and stuff. But I often think of the good people I have met here and how much your support has helped me. This winter has been a challenging one in terms of family health concerns and job insecurity, but no one gets through life without some challenges.
Haven’t gambled since last November, staying far away from the casinos which were the only places I gambled.
I’m so glad there are none near my home.
Take care people and take it ODAAT.
reds

[vera]

I often think of you Reds and wonder did your dad settle in to the nursing facility or if he moved to another place? ‘Must be hard on your mum and on all the family?
Well done on not gambling!

[reds]

Hi Vera –
So good to hear from you !! How is it going for you ?
My Dad was finally placed in a care facility in January and within 2 weeks they notified Mom that he will need to go to another facility. He wandered outside from that place and into other patients rooms at night, so it was not the right place for him but more secure facilities are filled and so he is on the waiting list again. The facility will keep him until a new place is found. This one was only 5 minute from my mother’s house so we hoped it would be the answer. Mom fell a few days ago at home alone, only bruised but a little shaken up and so stressed out about Dad and the impending second move. You don’t know how short of beds the health system is until you have a loved one who needs one. Or how expensive they are. Nothing to be done but wait and see.
reds

[reds]

Well, my temporary job ended Tuesday as I was expecting. So many things have happened to my husband and I in the last 5 years that were not of our choosing that I’m getting rather good at rolling with the punches. I got on the phone right away and got a week of work lined up for April and I have a fulltime job starting in May so things are looking pretty good.

I can now get out and exercise every day, weather permitting and hope to have some out of town visitors that have never seen our ” new ” house.

Home renovations passed some sort of tipping point and now it looks like a home instead of a construction zone.

I’m feeling really good about life, not tempted to go back to gambling as it wouldn’t make me feel good about myself. And reading from the Daily Reflections helps me to stay focused and calm.
Reading the posts here helps me to stay positive and thanks to everyone who posts, through their good days and not so good days.
reds

[lizbeth4]

Hi Reds! I am glad that life is treating you well and that you are not gambling. I am exercising now and eating healthy and it does make a difference in my mental state. I am learning to meditate also. My Daughter is a huge fan of it and is using it to reflect and de-stress. Oh, I am glad to hear that the home renovations are coming along. I am glad to hear that you have a new job lined up as that can be a great stressor. You sound very positive!!!! Take care and enjoy life!

[reds]

hi all –
Just checking in. I have been busy getting very domestic, trying new recipes and keeping the house cleaner than ever. Exercising when I can, although some days it is only snow shovelling. Snowing again today but I have a pot of stew cooking on the stove.
Hubby is working a lot, sometimes 7 days a week so I’m doing what I can to support him with domestic chores.

My Dad has been in acute care for about 3 weeks now.
He is still falling, very restless and disorientated. Fluid on lungs and lungs full of lesions and a kidney stone on the move. Calling my Mom frequently as she seems to need the emotional support. Went to city one weekend and saw Dad and had my son and DIL and grandkids here one weekend.

Received a big tax refund cheque today. If it stops snowing I’ll take it to the bank in Jasper rather than head for Edmonton where all the casinos are. Maybe posting my plan online will give me the motivation to stick to it instead of slipping.

Losing weight and feeling good, just waiting for this endless winter to stop.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Reds, It’s good to see you post! Sorry to hear about your Father. Oh, stew sounds wonderful especially when it’s cold outside. Take care. Hopefully, your winter will stop soon.

[reds]

hello everyone –
A sad update, my Dad passed away April 24. It was hard to see him so ill, and I will miss him so much. I know I am fortunate to have had such a great Dad and to have him in my life for so long. I am also grateful that we have such a large family that is so supportive of one another.
Heading out to the bush in 2 days tie for another summer of work. It will be good to get back to a normal routine, wish you all a gamble free summer and continued growth on your journeys of recovery.
Peace Out,
Reds

[icandothis]

So sorry to hear of your dad’s passing, Reds. Allow yourself time to grieve. Take care of yourself.

[vera]

Sincere condolences on the death of your dear Dad, Reds!
May his soul rest in peace!
Nothing prepares us for the death of a parent, but you have had some time to become accustomed to his absence since he went to the nursing home.
It would have become increasingly difficult for your mom as time progressed Reds, so all in all it is for the better.
God knows best!
I will remember you and your mom especially in my prayers.

[lizbeth4]

Reds, I am sorry to hear about your dad’s death. Remember to take care of yourself during this time. Grieve in your own time and way. Take care

[bettie]

Thinking of you Reds.
Loosing your Dad is never easy. I miss mine very much, even after 14 years.
Have a safe summer.
bettie

[desdemona]

I’m so sorry to hear that your Dad passed (((Reds))). I have not lost a parent so I can’t say I understand how you feel, but it must be so painful. Thinking of you in your grief and sorrow. It makes me happy to know that you had a good father. I’m sure you will enjoy your time out in the bush. I love nature myself and it uplifts the soul. Every sighting of a bird or animal on my property fills me with joy. Carole

[reds]

Thank you to vera, bettie, desdemona , icandothis, and lizbeth for your kind words and support and prayers. I am so grateful for your posts. They brought a flood of tears but also a lot of comfort. Take care of yourselves. See you in the fall.
reds

[vera]

Take care Reds!
Remember we are with you in Spirit. You are never alone!
Stay in touch!

[charles]

My commiserations on the loss of your father Reds. Stay strong and have a safe summer. See you when you are back in the land of tecnology!

[Author]

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