good husband vs lying gambler, tired of that swing

[MarySue]

Hello, I’ve been married for almost ten years. My husband works out of town and travels a lot for his job. About three years ago I started noticing atm withdrawals from the same address but they were small and I didn’t feel the need to start monitoring them because we were happily married for almost seven years at that point and I trusted completely to my husband. Approximately two years ago he went on a binge and lost all of our money in a week and the withdrawals were made still from that very same address. When I looked it up it turned out to be a casino. I was in a disbelief since I had no idea he had that issue. He was hiding it very good for years. Since then we had ups and downs and we recovered from that big loss but he still keeps going back to casinos every chance he gets. He hides it and even if I catch him going there he says he went there to eat only because they have great food there. He is in complete denial of his issue and he won’t go to therapy with me. He says he does not gamble and that should be enough for me to back off. I disagree because I feel he still goes there and one day instead of just eating there, he will relapse. He says he loves me and our two children with all his heart when he is home but every time he goes out of town he turns into a different person and goes back on the old path. I told him I will divorce him if he doesn’t make his choice between family and casinos. He says he loves us but continues doing his own thing, casinos, while he is gone. I’m exhausted of being on that swing and I want a closure in this situation even if it means a divorce. He does not seem to be concerned and does not take it seriously. I hate to leave him because of this but I cannot live like this anymore either. I’m emotional wreck. It affected me as a mother and as a person. I’m always stressed and upset. I don’t know what to do. He is a good father but when he is out of town it’s like evil takes over his actions and he becomes short and mean with me and goes back to his old habits.

[velvet]

<

Hello Mary Sue

Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

We look forward to hearing all about you!

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our

privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Author]

Posts