13 August 2012 at 11:07 am #12175john17Participant
This is my first post on the site and wanted to share a little of my story, my stay at the gordon association and my journey ahead.
After ten years of compulsive gambling i decided enough was enough, for the first time in my life i actually wanted to stop. Never before had i had the desire or wish to stop, I enjoyed doing it, i wanted to do it and i probably loved it. I loved it more than my partner, family, kids, friends and myself. How do you give up something that seems to be the most important thing in your life.
I had developed a total lack of perspective in my life. I had lost my career as a police officer, had spent time in prison, lost my partner and several friends, stolen, lied, manipulated and all because of gambling or what comes with the addiction.
My story probably resonates with many, one of thinking i could have done so much more with my life.
I heard a saying,
"nobody can go back and change the past, but anyone can start today and make a new future"
After much reflection and thought i realised it was time. Time to seek help and sort out my life. A life which somehow still contained my family and friends, but little else. Do i carry on till these had gone too or stop now. My decision was made and i found the gordon moody asssociation.
Within 6 weeks my bags were packed and i arrived for my 14 week rehabilitation. I didnt know what to expect or whether it would work or how it would work. All i new was that in 10 years i hadnt stopped and hadnt met anyone who could help me stop. I had to put full trust in the association and the staff within.
My thought process was that i would do everything i could to get the most out of the programme, my surroundings, the staff and residents and have a positive attitude and work hard.
After 14 of the best, most productive weeks of my life, i can say i got everything could out of my experience at gordon moody.
I left 5 days ago, at this stage i do not think about gambling, i dont have to lie to people, i dont have debt collectors knocking on the door or ringing my phone, im not scheming or looking for ways to get money. I think in a totally different way, i have learnt so much about myself and about my addiction, and maybe most importantly im happy.
I have friends who i have met along the way, both residents and staff. People who i can talk to, and get advice from and who can talk to me and i can help.
Im not nieve enough to believe that there isnt going to be struggles along the way, of course there is! however i feel wholely equipped to deal with these as and when they come. For me the journey and the hard work starts here. I have the base to work from and to start building my life from now.
I look forward with excitment at what life has in store for me.
johnNobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.