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  • #2400
    twilight16
    Participant

    A new year is here! It is a time to reflect of the past yet saying good bye, too and living in the now. As Vera on The Journal section has emphasized in her last post, time is precious and what we want most of, yet it can never be relived or given back (thank you Vera). I know this to be true for me as I too think of all the time I wasted in my life worrying about things I had no control of or doing things I didn’t feel right to be in my heart. I wish everyone here to let go of the past, let go of the should haves, let go of regrets, let go of hurt, let go of the disappointments, let go of thinking I could change anyone, let go of believing empty promises, let go of people who hurt us, let go feeling responsible for anyone ele’s life but our own. It is important to live in the now and do the best in the present for we don’t know when our last breath will be. The death of Steve Jobs really brought the importance of seize the day to a whole new level and I mever want to take time for granted. He lived his life using his time wisely, doing what he loved and being true to himself. If you haven’t seen his commencement speech at Sanford check it out on utube. This year I will use my time very, very wisely. I will do what makes me happy and not what is expected from me by others. I was not born to make other’s lives better, they must do it for themselves. Of course, I am always here for my daughters,yet I want them to know only they can truly make themselves happy. You know we live in a very different time where we can mold our own lives. I wish everyone here for the strength to do what is true in your heart, never to ever feel guilty for others. Live life to the fullest and don’t ever feel responsible for someone else’s mess. They got themselves in it and they are the ones who should get themselves out. I can say that 2011 was a great year because I got my life back and I plan 2012 to be even better! I have my bucket list to tend to 🙂
    On a side note, I briefly saw my father yesterday and there was not much to say between us. We just watched my little one at the park. There really isn’t anything to say and I believe the feelings are mutual. However, his gambling buddies called as we sat on a bench park and he was making plans to meet them later. I kept quiet as I sat on the bench lonely realizing more than ever he will never change and either will I.
    Love,
    Twilight
    (I believe we get our greatest strength from the hardest obstacles)

    #2401
    kathryn
    Participant

    Hi Twilight,
    I wish you a very happy New Year.  You cant change your dad, you can only change yourself, but you already know that….
    I too am embarking on what i am going to call "the quest" in 2012.  i am going to be happy.  Im not too sure how im going to do that apart from the usual exercise (i have stopped smoking so thats a start)….but im looking to do something more.  I feel im going through the motions of life and its passing me by.  Time to take the reins and really do something, if only i could work out what that something was…lol.
    Anyway, wanted you to know i read your post and i wish you every happiness.  I look forward to reading what 2012 will bring to your life.
    Lots of love, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

    #2402
    velvet
    Moderator

     
    Hi Twilight
    A very Happy New year to you. 
    I love Kathryn’s post to you. I read it after I had posted to Dawn and I feel I was (and am) saying the same thing. 
    Educating ourselves is a life time quest I think. To believe we have arrived at the ultimate state would make us pretty boring. It is easier for F&F to recover from the experience of living with the addiction to gamble than it is for those who own it. To keep educating ourselves though and (as Kathryn said) to keep the quest for happiness alive is something we can all work on together. 
    Whatever happens in life Twilight your father will always be your father. He hasn’t made a good job of it so far but he has to live with the consequences of his actions.
    I think the slender thread that you keep alive between you is great. You must be one of the few things he can be proud of and although maybe he doesn’t deserve to feel so, as you have had to create your own happiness, it is good for him to see you doing so well.  It might make it possible for him, one day, to make his own bucket list.  Certainly you will be giving him more of the right support by being the amazing woman you are, without pandering to his addiction in any way.
    He can change Twilight and if he does you will be a key factor, your strength and courage will be a beacon for him and he will keep seeing your light even in his darkest moments. You are credit to yourself. 
    Through this site we know that we can only control our own lives and it is up to us to look after those lives. We are all embarking on a new year and along with you I plan to make 2012 better than 2011. I too have a bucket list – it has changed over the years (I have taken the bungey jump off) but it is one I am happy wth.   I wish you and your daughters so much happiness – you have embraced the ethos of this site and you, in your turn, have added to it over and over. Your posts are a joy to read and I look forward to many morning moments with you before you leave for work,to hear your progress and to watch as you support others with your inimitable syle. 
    Velvet
     
     

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