- This topic has 8 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years ago by vera.
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24 August 2014 at 10:30 am #26409mrmackeyParticipant
Hello I’m a compulsive online slots gambler, it has been getting worse the last 8 months. here’s a little insight to my background
I did give up 3 years ago when my wife found out so she took control over my finances,giving me money £20 each Friday night for a drink,and cigarette money she got me back into credit,no credit cards no overdraft and no loans and i had over £500 spare each month.
Last October i took control back of my finances and this is where it got out of control again,i just cant seem to save and would rather spend my money and nothing to show for it, it never helped with adverts on TV saying deposit this and receive this. it kept on spiraling out of control different sites i have now managed to self impose on 8 sites ATM just a couple more left to do:)
Then the money ran out so i got a loan then another and now have 4 loans at the moment, then i decided to get a credit card now that is maxed out along with an overdraft:(
it was all so easy getting the money to use for my addiction now i regret it and have to start all over again i know its going to be hardI decided today, after a gambling binge that I do not want to live like this anymore. so i have joined here.
This selfishness has cost me all of my savings, and put me in debt to the tune of £20k. i have sleepless nights of worry. I hate myself right now and have thought about ending it 🙁I sound pitiful right now but its all my own doing and have to live up to the fact that i am a gambler. I don’t even know myself anymore. I want the old me back. I’m ready to fight this! Well thanks for listening!
Well as they say take 1 day at a time so today’s the day
Day1 been up 4hrs and not been on a gambling site am usually on straight away in the morning.
thank you for listening
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24 August 2014 at 7:47 pm #26410moniqueParticipant
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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24 August 2014 at 7:51 pm #26411moniqueParticipant
Dear mrmackey
You have made a good decision to come to this site. I do hope you will find the help and support you need to move on into a good recovery, so you can live a happier and healthier life.
Do look up all the group times and see if you can attend some ‘live’ sessions and also keep us posted as to how you are getting on.
Best wishes,
Monique
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25 August 2014 at 8:06 am #26412mrmackeyParticipant
Thank you both for the words of encouragement
well its day 2 i have managed to self impose on the last 2 sites i am a member of. i now have cut up my credit card so i cant get tempted to use it, just have to pay it off now gonna take some time.
Next bit is to try and figure out my finances and what i can and cant do.
Its seems strange going on a laptop and not making a beeline to online slots sites first thing when i wake up, I just need things to do to keep me occupied so i don’t get tempted whilst on the laptop.I still feel very guilty about what i have done and i haven’t plucked up the courage to tell the wife just yet 🙁
I guess all hell will break lose when that happens but i will have to take the consequences when that time comesjust thinking to myself how its seems strange how all of a sudden people get into this kind of mess and not realise then its to late
Are well that’s its for today here’s looking forward to what happens today i will post again tomorrow -
25 August 2014 at 9:17 am #26413moniqueParticipant
It will be difficult to talk about all this with your wife. And it will also be hard for her to hear. So I will be thinking of you both. If you are really serious about maintaining a gamble-free life, there is hope for a better future and these painful moments will become part of a past from which you can move on. Perhaps aim to be calm and to tell your wife you can appreciate her feelings too. I’m wondering if you are going to ask her to take over the finances again?
With the motivation to stay in recovery and support from here etc, I think you can do well.
Stay in touch and let us know how things progress.Best wishes,
Monique
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25 August 2014 at 6:29 pm #26414charlesModerator
Hi MrMackey and welcoem to the forum. Well done on making your first few posts here.
Why not install a blocker on that laptop? http://www.gamblock.com ios on though there are others. That will remove that particular temptation.
Telling your wife will help as well, she can help you set up the barriers that will help you stop. Don’t just present the problem though, speak to her about the blocker, show her this site, show her what you are going to do to address the problem this time.
There is also a friends and family Forum here so she can get support for herself as well.
Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.
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26 August 2014 at 5:20 pm #26415mrmackeyParticipant
Day 3
Done another day so far with self imposing, feeling that i want to gamble and try to get some money back, at a low this time but i am holding out at the moment, tonight gonna be difficult as i am alone tonight as Mrs is going out 🙁Still not told the Mrs yet but there will come at time when i have to i don’t think i am strong enough to confront her just yet and seeing what the consequences of what may happen.
Payday upon me soon so have to sort what i have left and what to do with my finances .
hi Charles i have been looking at certain sites in regards to blocking site but at this time i cant afford it just yet.I will show her this site once i get the courage to speak to her
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26 October 2014 at 9:17 am #26416mrmackeyParticipant
well its been a while since i posted on here just an update started gambling again 🙁 1 week after my last post
well i have finally gone 15days without a gamble anywhere.
This Friday i finally picked up the courage and told my wife which didn’t go down to well 🙁 she now knows the situation i got myself in and is going to take over my finances again and going to close my bank account so when i need money it will be from her.people may think this is drastic but if i cant access my money then i cant gamble it away
The worst thing about all this is that i had no inclination how bad it got until she told me how much i had spent in a year
i always thought £10 here £20 here didn’t amount up to much then we looked through my bank statements and it was really bad
So in hind sight i was very naive and stupid
i showed her this website and we read together the comments and posts, some of the posts hit home not just to me but to her as well,
one part of the forum made things a bit easier and that was the do’s and don’t section i think this should be available on the main page in my opinion then all people could take certain steps instead of rushing in to a slanging match which no one wants because gamblers need as much help as possible as do family and friends -
27 October 2014 at 1:00 pm #26417veraParticipant
“Gambling again” is unfortunately typical CG behaviour Mr. Mackey.
I guess things will be VERY different from now on since you plucked up the courage to tell your wife.
In my experience having someone involved in our recovery makes it more difficult to “sneak away and do our own thing”!
Not carrying money is the best barrier I know of.
Would your wife join in the Family and Friends Forum?
It is good that she is interested in this Site.
Keep posting!
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