27 April 2020 at 1:52 pm #54871AbhayParticipant
Hi everyone… I am new to GT I am basically from India 35 years old married 3 years ago do not have kids. It all started for me in December 2019 and it is like never ending story for me I have huge debt on me 6k USD AROUND 4.5lakh Indian rupee… I did gambling just to earn some extra money everything was good in my life till I joined gambling i was a happy man and within 6 month I have ruined my life I have withdrawal my savings just to pay my debt… I paid debt however I started playing again to cope up my losses…. Again I got in debt I have asked my family to help me my parents have some savings they gave it to me i paid off my debt and got back in debt.. I was unsure what to do I asked my elder brother to borrow personal loan to pay off my debt as my CREDIT SCORE ruined and I was not able to get the loan he has helped me and gave me money I assured him I will pay back however I have lost money given by my elder brother again and now I am in deep hole I am surrounded by darkness and I am totally helpless… I have also withdrawn my retirement funds… I am doing well and earing enough however I have have no money… I get paid 25th of every month I have lost my paycheck again yesterday…. I do not know what to do gambling is ruining my life my relationship… Its been 3 year I have not bought even a new pair of socks… It all started from trading app 3 year back however it got worse in 7 months since I started playing online casino’s game baccarat and dice dual.
I have no desire to live life now even after working for 10 years I do not have 10 $ in the name of saving… Oho god what to do how to control i don’t know… I do not have any money for my spouse I do not have any money for my parents I do not have any money for myself my 3rd wedding anniversary is falling after 2 days and again I was unable to buy a single piece of cake from last 2 years I am assuring my wife everything will be fine however now I am sure nothing will be fine very soon it will take me 3-4 years to get out of debt.
I am really sad and I feel like not to talk to anyone I stay alone most of the time and don’t like to talk to my wife, nephew, brother.
I am in deep hole want to end my life.
How to cope up… Yester day I lost 1350 dollars and somehow I got around 1000 dollars back however In order to get my 350 dollars back I started playing again and lost my 1000$ back no matter how much i win in baccarat till the time I am out of money I do not able to quit playing.
Forgive me for my English and grammar English is not my native language.
27 April 2020 at 3:20 pm #54872Meghna83Participant
Abhay I sympathise with you. I lost a lot of money too and it was my savings.
I chased and chased and it is that which caused me to dig myself into a bigger hole. My losses only grew with chasing.
My advice to you is:
1.stop chasing losses. Believe me, if you can at least take that step, the damage you have done will begin to heal.
2. Self ban from all gambling sites. Online Gambling is probably the most toxic and destructive ways to gamble as thousands are lost within minutes.
3. Talk to someone, as hard as it may be/seem, owning up to what you have done and getting an outside perspective will bring you back to the reality of how mindless gambling can turn any person.
4. Hand over your finances to a close person and give up using debit and credit cards.
5. the biggest challenge- let go of your losses and accept they are gone. Find ways to imagine how Such a financial loss could occur anyway such as a business closing for good due to covid 19 (this has happened to thousands of people) many have lost a massive amount of money.
6. forgive yourself and realise you deserve better and have the power to take control and recover financially. You can be in control. You are not powerless over your recovery but are powerless when gambling.
All these steps helped me and yet I found myself relapsing several times since April 2019. Luckily I have removed all access to my savings now and my husband is helping me stay vigilant. I am still on my journey of recovering from this self inflicted, nonsensical financial bleeding.
Please believe me, stop now and your brain will begin to recover from this brain-dead, ludicrous activity.
27 April 2020 at 3:33 pm #54873SteevParticipant
You wrote: “I am in deep hole want to end my life.”
This is a temporary situation and it is not something that needs such a drastic permanent solution. Please talk to someone on a helpline – there is a link here to some available in India: https://www.befrienders.org/directory?country=India
I say this is a temporary situation because many of us have been where you are and have come out the other side. If you read through the journals posted here you will see that there are 3 things you must do – other than getting good support for yourself. They are 1) losing access to money, 2) losing access to the places where you gamble – both online and off and 3) finding other ways (non gambling) of spending your time.
Read others posts and look at other parts of the site for details of what these things mean. I would urge you to come clean with your family about what is going on. Yes it will upset them, but not as much as if you go through with ending your life and then they will find out anyway. If you have borrowed money from your family and are unable to pay it back – they have a right to know the reason for this and to have the opportunity to help you if they can – after all it is THEIR money, not yours.
There is a facilitated support group for new members tonight (Monday) at 19.00 London time. You will get much more advice and support there.
27 April 2020 at 3:59 pm #54874duncParticipant
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
27 April 2020 at 4:12 pm #54875AbhayParticipant
Meghna83 you are absolutely correct hard part is to forget the losses… I have lost around $15000 where in i earn $300 per month I have lost my last 10 years savings + I have to pay $5000 (debt+personal loan own by my elder brother)
I have no savings no jewellery no vehicle nothing left with i sold everything I own in last ten years.
The thing allways stay in my mind i have to pay debt other wise crediters will harrase me and now I do not want my family members to know the situation I am got stuck in.
My parents helped me, my brother helped me however I was not able to keep their faith,… If anyone will come to know about this they will also be broke.
It’s hard to forget about my loss in this life.
Some time I feel like I should die however I am not going to do that now or never.
Life is all about struggle nothing is permanent and time will change I will try my best I will not gamble again. I will try not to gamble again
27 April 2020 at 4:27 pm #54876Meghna83Participant
Abhay instead say “I will not gamble again!” leave out the try
you can do this. Believe that things will get better so long as you do not gamble.
27 April 2020 at 8:58 pm #54877LSAParticipant
The past is gone…
You woke up today with some debt. It’s just how it is.
NEVER EVER GAMBLE AGAIN!!!! NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!
Your family may forgive you one last time….I hope they do! You have to tell them why you can not pay them back. Make a payback deal with your family – A realistic deal which suites both parties.
Let your wife control your finances (may be embarrassing but necessary and you love each other, don’t you?).
Find strength…You wake up tomorrow with a wife and some debt…I would switch if I could…Work off your debt and enjoy your life with your family AND NEVER GAMBLE AGAIN!
27 April 2020 at 9:05 pm #54878LSAParticipant
I know it sounds easy…But you just can’t change the past. Make a plan for your future and work hard to achieve your goals in life. What your goals are isn’t too important. Any realistic goal can be realized by any ordinary person, you too.
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