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  • #4478
    Hope1
    Participant

    Hi velvet. I’m here again, I feel so bad that I have not been attending the forums, cos you have been so helpful. Life gets busy, I have a full time job, my husband has been in hospital etc etc. my son has been in GM came out as the son I knew. He can
    Me homeapril after three months in GM. We have had two big relapses since he came home. Both shocks . He has been going back to GM to see one of the staff every two weeks, and we understood he was doing well. Well just before Christmas ( Christmas Eve) everything fell apart. It was so bad we reported to the police a missing person report. They were great and took it seriously . We did fear the worse . The police officer was great, when our son returned home, he didn’t lecture him, he told him he was not in the same place as before, at square one, that each day he had moved on and that he needed to learn from each day and whatever that day brought. I feel low, heavy heart, but because. I love my son, I will somehow gather the strength, but it is so hard. Today I feel empty, my son is now full of remorse as he has so many times before. I said to my husband it was like Groundhog Day. My husband , like the policeman, said it was different, and that this could be used as a lesson. Velvet, I read your Christmas message, and weirdly, the two relapses experienced by our son are both around significant events. One was his girlfriends birthday, setting himself up to give her an amazing birthday which hi couldn’t deliver, then at Christmas. We have told him, gifts are not required as the greatest gift is sharing time with the people you love. I just don’t know where all this is going. I wish I had a magic wand for him to find himself. I don’t know if you will gather who I am velvet. I send my very best wishes for you, your family and your precious son, I truly hope you are blessed. Much love xxxx

    #4479
    velvet
    Moderator

    Hi Hope
    Of course I know who you are.
    I am really interested to know in what way your husband feels that this time it is different because it is the differences that can tell us how things are going – including the not so good bits.
    You expressed your son’s reaction to his girlfriend’s birthday well – he set himself up and sadly in doing so he almost guaranteed he would feel a failure when he couldn’t deliver the birthday that ‘he’ thought she wanted. Only with experience will he learn to cope with all the different aspect of his behaviour. I remember asking my CG why he was struggling with an issue when he had been out of GM for a while, he told me that GM had planted the seed and cared for it while it grew into a bud – but buds take time to blossom.
    As your son is talking to a member of the GM staff every two weeks he is getting on-going support and hopefully if he tells them about his recent problems he will be helped to realise that recovery has to be nurtured, it doesn’t just happen.
    I’m afraid there definitely is no magic wand but you do know now that he can be the son you want him to be and even more importantly your son knows that he can be the person that he wants to be. No matter what we want Hope, it is the desire of the CG to want normality that matters above all else.
    Velvet

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