[roomf2012]

So I am back to where I started about 20 months ago. I have been gambling again for the last 6 months. II have begged borrowed but not yet stolen. I nealy went to prison last january when after I cleaned my work safe out trying to win back my salary from losing it all in the morning. I then spent a fantastic 3 months in gordon moody where I got my head sorted and started enjoying life again. I came out happy and started working with my uncle up until september last yeae.I then got a much better job earning 3 times what I waz earning before in the car industry but this has not made me happy. I re located to a town where I know nobody and left living in the safety net of licing with my best 2 mateswho knew all about my gambling to living with randoms. I feel isolated and do not really do much except go to the gym and play football.
I have just lost my whole wage packet in an hour on the roulette machine betting 100 quid a spin without leaving myseld any money for food petrol or paying my rent. I got myself into excatly the same sitution last month and managed to get some pay day loans which I managed to basically blackmail my dad into paying them off which I donot feel good about. Itried re taking them today but my mum has rang them all and blacklisted me so i have nowhere to go for money as my credit rating is shot to pieces.My mum and dad have finally had enough they have helped me out so many times before they have sais enough is enough so ritht now I face the prospect of being kicked out on the street with nowhwre to go and no food. I know this is all my own fault and I have brought it on myself by not putting steps in place to atop thia happening I guess as gamblers do they think that they know best and everything will be ok but I dont think it will this time. I dont know where to turn or what to do ans how I am even going to face goinf to work or if there is any point jn even going. The ironic tning is I am doing so well at work and was top of the company in july and am earning more money ghan ever before . But I remember a good friend from fordon moody saying money isnt everything and I know that is true. I have not had a gf for 4 years as I cannot open myzelf up to anyone and refuse to let someone get hurt by me again, now my family have had enough and I can count the number of proper mates on my hands.
I feel so alone and isolated and I sont know where to turn to.I dont know if anyone will respond but I just wanted to get this out and have no one to talk to.Thoughts Bring Things

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