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  • #7539
    harryp22
    Participant

    My names harry and ive been redirected here becuase im under 21 (im 18). I was just wondering how if any of you told your parents as i still live with mine and i cant stand having to be with them while they are happy and im so sad and cant join in. I wish i never played poker with my uncle at the age of 14 which is where i started gambling and have ben since online and since turning 18 losing thousands at the casino. However i always blow it over when i win a fraction of it back. I was just wondering if it made thigns better for you telling your family and how you did it. I need some support from someone close to help me manage my money and keep me in line but i dont want to start the conversation saying i lost a bit of money then them finding out exactly how much becuase not only would it destroy our relationship but it would make them not trust me and break there hearts. Cheers for any help. thanks.

    #7540
    tim
    Participant

    Hi Harryp22
    Welcome to the forums
    Just to let you know that I have moved your topic to this the Overcoming Problems forum as it may be more appropriate for the thoughts and questions you raise.
    It may also help to keep writing in your Journal topic and/or make use of the live advice helpline or support groups.
    Click "connect" when these options are open
    Warm regards
    Tim
     Taking life one day at a time as always.

    #7541
    paul315
    Participant

    Originally posted by harryp22

    … I was just wondering if it made thigns better for you telling your family and how you did it. …

    Good evening Harry,
    I see that Tim has forwarded your new topic to this Overcoming Problems Forum, I hope that you see this move as a way to help you get the answers that you ask and not as running you around. I too see this forum as being set up to discuss ways to overcome problems as the name imp***s, but our problems and our lives or so intertwined that most seem to stick to the Journal form. So, like suggested, keep reading and posting to both and you will widen your sources of help.  And again, read the post in the F&F Forum, they are not CGs and can not tell you how they told their fami***s about their gambling, but you can see how they reacted to being told and learn of some of the support that you can expect, and what is to be expected of you – being honest is one.
    I can not tell you about me telling my family, other than my children, but I can post some of the things about telling loved ones and about keeping secrets. Telling a spouse, significant other, or as in your case your parents, is a hard thing to do, mostly because you are also again admitting to yourself what you have done. But "admitting to ourselves and to another human" is one of the steps we must take to recover. In doing so, it might be best to do it now, as soon as possible – not convenient. Do it before they find out on their own – and they will, if not already known or highly suspected – thus adding to any mistrust you may face. You are at a good stage having started with a recovery process, showing them that you are sincere in facing your need to stop. 
    If and when you do this, it is vital to be completely honest with them (and yourself).  Let them know of your total addiction and the reason for the lack of money. Do not hold anything back for later, telling a little at a time causes additional mistrust each time that you spill out a little more of the story, you will then have to face another barrage of questions and new mistrust. Each time you revise your story they will just think, "what next, what else are you  hiding". 
    Another member has posted "Secrets keep us sick.  As long as you continue to *** your way through life when it comes to gambling, you will remain in a cycle where you hate yourself so you gamble, you gamble and you hate yourself, and on and on it goes.  I’m never going to say that quitting is easy, but it wasn’t as hard as I thought.  I only had to white-knuckle it through the urges, and then I was okay.  Give in to them…and I was right back on the treadmill.". 
    Keep these things in minds, things that others have experienced and found to be true and the best way to approach others. But whatever you decide, keep visiting and participating in the forms here, take action; and most of all Do Not Gamble For Anything, and during this time of abstinence, start making change to the things that allow the addiction to control – take back your life.
    God’s speed. Stay strong. Be honest, openminded, and willing.
    Larry

    "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be  gambling free.
    Also postes to yur other topic in "My Journal"– 8/17/2010 11:40:27 PM: post edited by paul315.

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