Get practical support with your gambling problem › Forum › Poetry Corner › Hopelessness !
Is there any hope for me ?
Or am I just delusional,
Chasing a desire I cannot accomplish ?
Do I suffer with OCD ?
Trying aimless to analyse and make sense of it all ?
I don’t want pity, I don’t want counselling,
Don’t even want to talk.
I know it all, been there and tried it all,
Yet after coming to terms and making that choice to stop,
Here, I am 4 years later,
Another year, starting so wrong !
Lord, rid me of this chains and bondage,
The pain, guilt and shame, tearing mind and soul apart,
Robbing me of happiness and peace of heart.
Why am I so unhappy when I am blessed,
And know You care and love me dearly, too ?
I tried so hard this week, to walk closer with You,
After re-affirming my faith and walk.
But it seems all the more why I did so badly tonight,
Like struck by lightening and hit by a truck !
There is no more woe or self pity,
I’ve become hard and callous as I fight this battle within,
I realise this is my path in search for happiness
For things I lost or don’t have,
When happiness lies in contentment
And focusing on what I have, not what I have not !
Oh, wretched soul that I am,
Who will deliver me from this evil !
I need to find my happiness from within,
To stop deceiving myself,
that chasing the god of money,
will bring happiness and success !