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  • #8664

    Is there any hope for me ?

    Or am I just delusional,

    Chasing a desire I cannot accomplish ?

    Do I suffer with OCD ?

    Trying aimless to analyse and make sense of it all ?


    I don’t want pity, I don’t want counselling,

    Don’t even want to talk.


    I know it all, been there and tried it all,

    Yet after coming to terms and making that choice to stop,

    Here, I am 4 years later, 

    Another year, starting so wrong !


    Lord, rid me of this chains and bondage,

    The pain, guilt and shame, tearing mind and soul apart,

    Robbing me of happiness and peace of heart.

    Why am I so unhappy when I am blessed,

    And know You care and love me dearly, too ?


    I tried so hard this week, to walk closer with You,

    After re-affirming my faith and walk.

    But it seems all the more why I did so badly tonight,

    Like struck by lightening and hit by a truck !


    There is no more woe or self pity,

    I’ve become hard and callous as I fight this battle within,

    I realise this is my path in search for happiness

    For things I lost or don’t have,

    When happiness lies in contentment

    And focusing on what I have, not what I have not !


    Oh, wretched soul that I am,

    Who will deliver me from this evil !

    I need to find my happiness from within,

    To stop deceiving myself,

    that chasing the god of money,

    will bring happiness and success !

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