I am married for the last 16 years and I have 2 kids. My husband makes good money but he is gambling every paycheck. He was gambling since I knew him but not as bad as now. He got worse and worse over the years. We live in a bad neighborhood, in a cheap house, so he can afford to gamble more and more over the years. He gambled last year more than $20,000. I borrow money from people to get what we need when we didn’t had any money, and he still did not paid the debt. Now I don’t have any money to pay the debt.
Every time when I tell him to stop gambling, he is saying that is for the last time. If I count all the years that we had been together, I think that he gambled more than $120,000. We don’t have at least $1 in a saving account anywhere. I cannot keep going like this with my life.
He is saying that he has no problem with gambling. It is ok with what he does and it’s not my business what he’s doing with his paycheck. He is refusing to pay any bills and he doesn’t care about the house expenses or anything else. He is in denial. I told him about counseling, but he is refusing to go.
Last time I talked to him I gave him an ultimatum: either you go to the gambler anonymous meeting or counseling, or I will divorce you. He said he wants a divorce. He is 45 y.o. and he is so immature. I am tired of waiting for him to grow up. Every time when we argued he told me that he wants a divorce. Now I want a divorce. I am 38 y.o. and I feel so old and exhausted. I can’t take it anymore. I feel like I had more than enough.
I don’t know what to say to him anymore. I did not argue with him lately, but I see that he’s depressed. Today I will meet a lawyer for my divorce.
I think he needs help even if we are together or not. He’s in denial. ANY ADVICE?