19 April 2018 at 10:51 am #6249Susie4Participant
My boyfriend is a compulsive gambler and is currently going through treatment. I control all our finances and all his money also. He transfers his wages to my acxount every month and i drip feed it back to him. Thats the way it has to be for now anyway. We do have a joint account for bills only but never too much money kept in that and I have notifications set up for activity on the account just in case. He does not have access to any further money unless I give it to him.
Luckily enough he hasnt racked up huge amounts of debt so we dont have that hanging over us. He does however have a bad credit rating with banks for non payment of credit cards etc previously.
I am thinking of the future and how we could work it to get him clearly saving and to be visible from the banks perspective in case we want to get a mortgage together.
I have his money in a separate account under my name so bank wouldn’t recognise it as his savings if it were to build up.
Any suggestions on how to try rebuild his credit rating without giving him access to money?
Thanks for any advice at all!19 April 2018 at 7:19 pm #6250charlesModerator
Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.
Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page
Read about the friends and Family Online Groups
Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂
If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.
You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂
We look forward to hearing all about you!
Take care19 April 2018 at 11:15 pm #6251velvetModerator
You are sensibly looking after the finances and in my opinion this is the way things should stay for the foreseeable future. Your boyfriend will be getting the tools to live a gamble-free life but before you race ahead with worrying about a mortgage, I suggest it is better for him to start to live that life and get used to it. Treatment plants the seed of recovery but the seed needs nurturing to help it grow and it takes quite a long time to blossom.
I cannot tell you what to do but taking responsibility is a big step in the journey of a CG and should not be rushed.
The only way I think your boyfriend can increase his credit rating is to stay out of debt which includes credit cards.
I hope you will keep posting, I think that the early days of recovery are incredibly hard for both the CG and those who love them but the rewards for those who work hard at recovery are amazing – I wouldn’t be writing to you if I didn’t know this to be true.
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