Hello everyone, I have come to this site many times but I don’t think I have ever posted until today. My husband has gambled off and on for years. He has spent thousands and thousands of dollars and now has maxed out all of his credit cards, but had 2,000 dollars and could not wait to get back to the casino. He has just left while I was in the shower. He had been home for 3 days, only because I went to check to see if he was alive, and got him to come home with me, What a mistake. He plays only Texas Holdem, but that is enough! Sorry I keep on rattling. We have been married, (are you ready for this), it will be 42 years on Sept. 7th. We have worked through many hard times, but this seems to be the thing that will bring a death to our marriage. I have always told people that I do not believe in divorce, but we may as well be, because he is never home. He went 5 years w/o gambling. But over the past 2 years he has only gone a few months in between episodes. Everytime he says,"I just has to go one more time!" He says he loves and cares for me but I see him love and care for the cards more, he says if I ever left him he would be devastaed. Our children already hate him and I think they don’t think much of me either for staying with him. He has seen counselors and was supposed to go into recovery in LA last week but just had to give it one more try. Well he did and came home after 2 1/2 weeks. That wasn’t enough, because he is gone again. I know I have to leave him alone. It is very hard to do that because with everything he has done I still love him. I suppose I could just love him to "death." Well thanks for this website it really helps to vent!Live each day as if it is our last, redeeming the time we have been blessed with.