Get practical support with your gambling problem Forum My Journal I am afraid of losing myself

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  • #10815
    alan292012
    Participant

    24th Jan 2013 I became a member at http://www.gamblingtherapy.org. But I don’t know what happened to me,I just couldn’t stop,couldn’t stop thinking of gambling. In the last 2 months, I gambled again and again,I lost a lot of money.
    I really hate myself right now,I cant understand how I become like this. Last night, only 20 minutes time I lost 4350 Euro on Roulette.I told myself so many times don’t play any Roulette games,I will end up lose all of it. But it is like a disease that I can’t get rid of it. Every time when I am at my laptop I would think about opening these online gambling site, maybe I got some free bonuses, maybe I got some free bets. I know it is a way these gambling sites work, they are trying to get people go back to bet more money, I persuaded myself so so many times not to go back to gamble, but somehow I always end up going back.
    I have been gambling for 7 months so far,I know it is only a short time compare to a lot people here. But I really want to stop, I feel sorry for my parents, they paid for my tuition fees but I used them to gamble and pay my credit card debts. I am afraid to talk to them now, I am ashamed.
    I gave up my job and went back to college, now I got this gambling addiction,I can’t focus, I am not passing my exams. I really don’t know what to do.
    I am with my partner for almost 6 years now, I told him when I lost 2300 Euro in Nov 2012,but he doesn’t know I have been gone back to gamble.I have been keep secret. I am afraid to say anything, because I have lost 20400 Euro so far,he would go very mad if I told him that,maybe he would want to end the relationship.He had sex addiction for years, now it is over but he told me he wouldn’t be able to deal with me about gambling issue in Nov 2012. He said the sex addiction was very tough and he struggled for so many year it just wouldn’t be fair for him to deal addiction again.
    I cried many many times at night,sometimes I slap myself very hard on the face.I have been thinking if I cut my self or harm myself somewhere would that wake me up and stop gambling completely?

    #10816
    janey
    Participant

    Hi Alan, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
     
     
    In answer to your question, no, harming yourself will not have a magical effect on you allowing you to conquer your addiction.  Harming yourself will only serve to hurt you and those you love, nothing more.  But having found us you have now found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.  You’re not alone Alan.
    Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
    Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
    To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
    For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
    Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.  
    Take Care
    The Gambling Therapy Team
     

    #10817
    paul315
    Participant

    Originally posted by Alan292012… it is like a disease …
    Good morning Alan, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was October 17, 2009, the time of a gambling binge when I found myself in the right set of circumstances and unguarded; caught up in a CG’s perfect storm after over three years of being gambling free. 
    Welcome to this part of GT, the part of participating, posting and reaching out for help. You became a member of GT a few months ago; but, it take more than joining a "club", it takes participating in a program of recovery and the supports groups such as GT that help and support us in our efforts,  to overcome the power of this compulsive gambling addiction — this baffling and insidious disease that makes our lives unmanageable.  We may not be able to get rid of this disease, but as found by members in other recovery programs, "Compulsive gambling is an illness, progressive in its nature, which can never be cured, but can be ********".
    Keep coming back and using the services of GT, and using the help and advice of other members, read their post and search for the answers that will help guide you to becoming the old you.  You have already receive good advice from Janey concerning self-abuse, her comments are well founded and it would be good for you to think about it in a rational way. By participating here and being active in your recovery you can also find additional good advice on other ways and means to combat this addiction. You have to diligently work on making changes to you character, thinking, and attitude, not on caring out thoughts of self mutilation to your body.  Look for a support group such as Gamblers Anonymous in your area and get the live help that can be found in these groups as well, do all you can to "get rid of" this disease – to put it in remission and keep it there — "you have to go after recovery, it does not come to you.
    God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.
    LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

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