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  • #8149
    izzi25
    Participant

    This is my first attempt at writing poetry about cg addiction. I wrote this in my process of trying to stop. This for me was a reminder that If I didn’t stop cg it would kill me and I would lose more then just my life.  
    I am dead
    I killed myself
    Blood runs down my hands
    Anguish fills my heart
    I am dead
    I aimed the gun, fired and shot myself in the head
    These hands wouldn’t stop
    They couldn’t stop
    They kept going and going and going
    Until the very last press
    Until nothing is left
    It’s done
    Finally over
    I am dead
    I killed myself  
    I let it consume me until nothing was left
    It won
    I am dead
    I killed myself
    Until the very last press
    When nothing else was left
    Except for the final tear I shed
    Before I took the gun in my hand
    Weeping for myself  no one else left to care
    Family, friends they buried me a long time ago
    They wiped their hands clean of me
    While I still had breath
    They watched me slowly whither and dwindle consumed only by my hunger to feed this addiction
    I killed myself
    In the end I lost
    I lost more than just another gamble
    I lost more than just my life
    I lost my soul, lost who I was
    I lost me
    In that I lost them
    I lost them all……
    I killed myself
    Blood runs down my hands
    Anguish fills my heart
    I am dead
     

    #8150
    vera
    Participant

    Izzi,
    I hope you don’t mind me bringing this poem to the top as a poignant reminder to all of the consequences of gambling.
    You know I was "on your side" from the beginning Izzi. I often wonder what happens to people who vanish from this Forum. I often ask myself "Is he/she gambling or (God forbid!) are they dead!?"
    I never read this poem before. I was just broswing and it jumped out at me.
    I think it’s brilliant!
    Maybe I am meant to read it at this time.
    I has certainly taken my breath away…..
    Thanks Izzi. I needed to be stopped in my tracks.

    #8151
    icandothis
    Participant

    Izzi, I think of you often and hope you are doing well. We miss you. Vera, there is life after all of this…one breath at a time!

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