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    • #144335
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hi, I have been at this thing for awhile now, trying to give up gambling after approx 11 yrs.
      Well, 28 days ago, after losing a decent amount of money I had just received, I decided it was time. I told myself, no more slots, internet cafes, lottery, online, I even delete the free games off my phone. It’s so hard to believe I have sent 27 days without any gambling. Do t get me wrong, I still think about it at least once a day, but I have not acted on it.
      Just decided to check-in after coming to the site reading a few journals.

    • #144339
      G Rec
      Participant

      Hi Cruising247,

      Welcome to the forum and well done on reaching 28 days with no gambling. What have you found helpful with staying gamble-free over the first 28 days?

    • #144372
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good morning G Rec,

      Honestly, like I said I just stopped everything, just went cold turkey, I stopped playing the free online games also. I started the first few days quoting the serenity prayer, sometimes I would say it a few times a day, especially when I start getting that urge to play. The only thing we have around here are the little internet cafes, so someone only win big every now and then. But I found myself putting more and more money in again but never winning nothing worth cashing out with. So even when I would win a little back, I would only sit there and play it back. I may be wrong, but everytime certain people would come in I felt like they knew when to log on because soon after they log on the free money board would fall on them, so I began to think something wasn’t right (some cheating going on). So that also makes it easier on me because there are no “real” casinos near me and I’m not a highway driver, and my husband finally stop stopping at casinos when we would travel. So I either have to go where I feel that they are really cheating, or not at all. I chose, not at all, and when I chose not at all I deleted all the in line games, even the free games.
      I guess I don’t have an answer answer for your question, only that I take one day at the time and pray not to give in to the urges that still come.

    • #144373
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Oh, this time when I decided to stop, I wasn’t as far in the hole financially. I haven’t found myself as irritable, on the edge, mad at the world, knowing I did it to myself.
      I knew I was at a place I could pull myself out without telling my loved ones I had slipped “again.” Even though most/all of my monthly income is catching me up now, BUT, I haven’t had to go begging for help this time because I was so far in the hole. That’s such an embarrassing, humiliating feeling, I hope to never be back in that place.

      Day 28 today!!!!

    • #144461
      Cruising247
      Participant

      I won’t say if, but WHEN I make it through tomorrow without gambling “I will have ONE month under my belt.”

      It’s been a while since I went a month with absolutely no gambling, not even lottery.

    • #144520
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Celebrating 1 month “Gamble Free!” today!!!!
      May birthday is Saturday, my husband asked me what did I want to do.
      My old answer would have been “please” take me to a casino, but not anymore, not this year.

    • #144575
      Cruising247
      Participant

      I ran into this gentleman today who I use to see at the internet cafes gambling.
      I told him I was Gamble Free for one month today. He was so excited for me, and said he was working on getting there. He said knowing I decided to stop has motivated him to try to stop. He is a good man, praying he is able to stop. I did mention the support forum. Even if he doesn’t stop today, I know the seed has been planted. I could tell because he was going on and on once we started talking about recovery.

    • #144577
      Cruising247
      Participant

      It (recovery) feel really strange this time, I don’t feel as irritated, bothered, I’m not thinking about playing/gambling every other minute of the day. When I have attempted to stop gambling in the past I felt like I was trying to come off a drug or something and it was scary.
      I am sooo thankful for this peace I feel this go around. I feel that it is actually positive to stay on track this time.🙏🙏🙏

      “One day at a time!”

    • #144625
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 32 Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler….
      I met a friend for lunch today, and I had a little time before my appointment, I had to buy my new car tag. I thought about going to gamble, but I went to the mall to look for a Christening gift. Then I went on to buy my tag. It didn’t take as long, and the thought crossed my mind again. I actually had to have a conversation with myself, I reminded myself that I have made it to 32 days and if I acted on that feeling to gamble, I would be starting completely over again. So, I stopped by Walmart picked up a couple items and came home. I know it’s no one but God who is walking with me, keeping me on track. There was a time when I would have gambled, lost all the cash in my purse and used every dollar in my account (ATM).
      I would have been sitting here beating myself up, having a serious pity party; but, I stayed strong, and now I’m headed into Day 33 Gamble Free…
      One day at a time….

    • #144660
      Amber_Disfordone
      Participant

      Great achievement! I love the acknowledgment that God is walking beside you… all of us… I’m certain he is tired of the casinos too!!

    • #144682
      Cruising247
      Participant

      I got soooo tickled when you said He’s tired of the casino’s too.
      I bet He is, because I use to talk to Him like he was sitting there beside me when I was losing, I would be sitting there begging him to pleaseee let me win just one more time, pleaseee, if you would just please let me get my money back this time I will leave (go home)…
      I use to be there begging for a miracle. The bad part was when I would go back up, I still wouldn’t leave.

      But, I’m so thankful for progress.🙏🙏🙏

      One day at a time…

    • #144752
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good Afternoon, not much to talk about, just checking in.

      I’m on day 34, I am getting ready for an early dinner with the hubby. He doesn’t gamble, so I’m 110% sure I’ll make it one more day.

      “One Day at a Time!”

    • #144813
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 35
      Hanging in there.
      In another week I’ll be home for 2 weeks, it’s a little frightening because usually when I have that much down time that was when I would spend all my day gambling.
      I can only exercise for so long in a day, I am a loner by chose; so I need to find something to do to keep my mind off getting bored and gambling. My daughter will be home a few days for Christmas, and she don’t like gambling or don’t like me gambling, do I’m good for those few days….
      I’m not going to start stressing over a relapse, because it’s not going to be one, I got this.
      “One day at a time.”,🙏🙏🙏

    • #144823
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Thank you Kin!

      I returned to my forum page on Day 27, I am on Day 35 gamble Free.

      One day at a time!
      Thanks again

    • #144867
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Happy Birthday to me today!!!
      Day 36 Gamble Free

      Nothing new to talk about, daily check-in is my way of staying accountable.

    • #144908
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 36 Gamble Free
      I know it’s nothing but the grace of God that has kept me this far, gamble free. I feel like I just started this new journey of being gamble free yesterday and I’m already on day 36. Praying things continue to go this smooth. I won’t lie I still think about gambling, but haven’t had any over powering urges.

    • #144915
      Amber_Disfordone
      Participant

      Happy birthday to you! What a great gift to give yourself! Freedom!

    • #144918
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Thank you Amber!

    • #144869
      myinnerdemon
      Participant

      How do you stop yourself when the thought about gambling steps in. I haven’t found a way yet and have failed so many times.

    • #144992
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello

      It’s hard to answer your question because I honestly have not been getting bad urges to go, I just think about it sometimes. There was a time I would get so agitated if I couldn’t go daily, but I haven’t been getting that since week one of stopping. That first week I prayed A LOT, and sincerely repeated the Serenity Prayer. I did whatever it took to keep from caving in. I would turn my focus to something else.
      I think the other thing is this isn’t my first attempt to stop, this time I didn’t allow myself to get as far in the hole financially. Being wayyy in the hole is what brings on that depression and suicidal thoughts.

      Day 38 Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler.
      One day at a time!

    • #145049
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 39.
      Just taking it one day at a time….

    • #145089
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 40
      Just a trucking along, taking it one day at a time.
      When I look back 41 days ago, I was a mess, I couldn’t believe that I had blown that hat much money in such a short period of time.
      But, here I am 40 days later still gamble Free.
      Feeling Thankful.

    • #145119
      Relapseking
      Participant

      good on you mate, im happy for you. thats a huge achievement. I fell back again and am back to day 1. you need to keep pushing through, it sucks starting over and over time and time again. i havent made it past a week in a long time. may I ask what the serenity prayer is? i have tried to say prayers myself but never know what to say but i do feel like i need the help from that higher power. ive said to myself that i will no longer fail for the rest of this year so im now looking forward to this journey. one day at a time

    • #145191
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good morning,
      Praying that this pray will help you as much as it has helped me.

      “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
      Courage to change the things I can, and
      Wisdom to know the difference.”

      Day 42 Gamble Free
      One day at a time….

    • #145519
      Cruising247
      Participant

      I was raised saying the Lord’s Prayer, that was long before my gambling days.
      I was asked “what is the Serenity Prayer,” I was providing an answer to the question.

    • #145521
      Relapseking
      Participant

      Thank u both for your replies. Im on day 3 now. Thanks for the prayer cruising

    • #145556
      Cruising247
      Participant

      You are so welcome Relapseking!
      Congrats on your 3 days of being gamble free. “Each day” is an accomplishment.

      Day 43 gamble free, “One day at a time.”

    • #145609
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening,
      Still taking it one day at a time. But, as I sit here a little bored on this rainy Sunday I am missing the “excitement” of winning. I really miss the games/slots. But thennn, I think about the feeling I would feel when I would lose all the money i had in my purse/pocket, my accounts and on my cards (the feeling of ashame, extremely stressed, sad, humiliated, out of control, and the list goes on and on). That thought is enough to remind me why I stopped.
      I received a call from my Aunt this afternoon telling me that my cousin had won a decent amount online, I quickly stopped her and reminded her I had stopped all gambling. It’s something about hearing about some one winning that makes you want to go try your luck. But, instead I stopped the conversation, so I would not start to feel tempted.

      Day 44 Gamble Free,
      “One day at a time”

    • #145610
      Cruising247
      Participant

      When I think about how I handled that call, I am so proud of myself. Especially with this being such a boring day. There was a time if I wasn’t already there, I would be trying to get there.

      It’s a chose, and “I choose to stay gamble free.”

    • #145615
      Relapseking
      Participant

      Yea u should be super proud of yourself cruising.

      If you gambled, you would be starting your day count all over again after coming so far. You would lose money, be angry at yourself and then be back here posting about how you had to start over. Theres so much temptation but its never worth it. You have done so well and would hate yourself for having to start over. The worst part would be if you happened to win something, because then you 100% would return again and again after that. Thats what ive realized is winning just sucks us back in there for a longer period of time and then we end up giving it all back plus more. Us gambling addicts can never quit after winning, its just not possible to leave and never return after a win. I only ever quit properly once i lose everything.

      Pat yourself on the back and keep pushing forward one day at a time

    • #145668
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good afternoon,

      Thank you!

      Just checking in…..
      Day 45 Gamble Free
      One Day at a Time…..

    • #145732
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good Evening,
      Just checking in after spending the day with the grands. We made a big batch of Christmas cupcakes and I must admit that they tasted pretty good. Now we are watching kid friend shows.

      I was really nervous about having too many free days, so I decided to invite the little ones over for a few days. When I tell you I am so serious about staying gamble free. Even if it means hearing noisy children all day. Those noisy babies kept me Gamble Free one more day.(smiles)

      Well, I just wanted to check in, I am still taking it “One day at a time.”

      Day 46, Another gamble free day.

    • #145760
      risingphoenix
      Participant

      Nice Cruising247! Congrats on keeping the streak alive. I am on Day 40 myself and yes, free days and free time are dangerous, just keep yourself occupied with other things all day 🙂

      Noisy children are a blessing compared to the gambling hell we are all too familiar with! One day at a time. Cheers!

    • #145774
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello RisingPhoenix

      Thank you! and congratulations on your 40 days of being gamble free.
      I was pretty nervous about having 2 weeks of down time, but the kids are leaving later today and my daughter arrived today and she’s here until after Christmas. My daughter does not gamble so she will keep me busy doing other things another few days.

      I can not believe I am on day 47, but “very thankful.”
      “One day at a time…”

    • #145839
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 48 Gamble free. Feeling very Thankful.
      Looking forward to Christmas Eve family gathering (games, pics and food).

      Staying gamble free one day at a time….
      Blessings🙏

    • #145841
      risingphoenix
      Participant

      Excellent! Merry Christmas 😄

    • #145848
      G Rec
      Participant

      Hi Cruising247,

      Well done on Day 48. It is great to hear you are looking forward to a nice Christmas with your family gamble-free.

    • #145884
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 49 Gamble Free
      The family Christmas Eve party/ gathering was nice this evening.
      Honestly, nothing gives you that excitement that playing slots give you. No worries, I have no intention of playing, just my thought at the moment.
      Looking forward to waking up Christmas morning to open gifts with the family. Yessss, I was able to purchase some gifts this year, with my own money (not my husband’s money).
      Yes, we had to separate our funds because I was losing more than I was bringing in, plus some.

      One day at a time!

    • #145911
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Merry Christmas 🎄
      Enjoyed family all day…

      Day “50” Gamble Free
      THANKFUL!!!

      “One day at a time…”

    • #145945
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Greetings…
      Nice pleasant day, nothing new.

      Day 51 Gamble Free
      “One day at a time.”

    • #146006
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 52 Gamble Free, very thankful.

      I try to stay and think positive, but then I read someone’s journal just to see how easy it is to start back gambling after being gamble free after months/years. Honestly, that is so scary…
      It has been such a good feeling to not have to ask anyone for money; also, I have been able to enjoy my family without trying to think of a way to get out the house to run and play. I am not feeling the urges that I really need to play. (So thankful)

      “One day at a time.”

    • #146045
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Day 53 Gamble Free, it’s still kinda early in the day, but I have no intentions of going.
      Headed to go put a few miles in sound the lake.

      “One day at a time!”

    • #146070
      Relapseking
      Participant

      Glad to hear the daily progress mate! Merry xmas and congratulations on getting over 50 days!!

      I myself just completed day 7. My first time getting through a whole week in a loooong time. Only a tiny achievement but something in proud of.

      Keep it going buddy

    • #146084
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Thank you Relapseking!
      I celebrate your 7 days achievement with you.

      54 Gamble Free, feeling thankful…
      “One day at a time..”

    • #146144
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello

      Nothing new, just my daily check-in.
      I can’t believe it’s been almost 2 months since I gambled. Thankful!!!!

      55 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146145
      Cruising247
      Participant

      I know by staying on my road of recovery, “2022” is going to be a great year….. I am claiming it!
      I am so excited to see all the new things that 2022 has to offer me.

      I plan to save as I pay off debits. I want a “real” savings account,and an emergency fund account. Before, I couldn’t see it, but now I know as long as I stay gM me free I can do it.

    • #146181
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Happy New Years Eve!!!!
      I am sooo excited to see what’s to come in 2022.
      My number one goal/intention is to stay gamble free in 2022.

      56 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146184
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊

    • #146203
      Cruising247
      Participant

      HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
      We all have another day, another year to get it right. To make it right with our friends and love ones.

      57 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146233
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good afternoon, Happy Sunday!

      Nothing much to share, just checking in.

      58 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146282
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good afternoon!
      Just checking in, nothing new.
      Just having a problem changing my diet bad to normal. I jumped on the junk food wagon during the holidays and now it’s hard to switch back over. It’s quite cold outside so I can’t walk outside right now. The Covid numbers are rising so fast around here, I’m a little nervous about going in the gym right now.
      I’ll figure it out.😊

      59 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146285
      ujju197
      Participant

      Hello Cruising247,

      Its delight to read your check-in updates. And, Feel good that someone like me is doing tremendously well to achieve the feat we all are looking for.

      I am back on Day 2, but I am on track too. Any suggestion about managing the debts, how you have done that.

    • #146055
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      I’m on my 4th day clean. I was clean for over 5 years I’m GA. It can be done. One phone call from a so called friends ruined that. I have been in a downward financial spiral for over 5 years now. I can identify that this is the point where I am done with gambling. I have a strong desire to stop✋. I started my own business and it is thriving even though I was blowing the money gambling. So the money part isn’t the issue but it can certainly escalate to bankruptcy quickly. I know I have to stop in order to be successful. So far so good I will post daily.

    • #146085
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Clean date is Christmas. It’s only been almost 5 days. But it feels great. As long as my mind is focused on recovery and posting on here I’ll be good. Some meetings via zoom would be a must

    • #146344
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hi ujju197 and danieldrake,

      It’s good to hear that you all are doing well. Ujju197 congrats on your 2 days and danieldrake congrats on your 5 days!!!

      Ujju197, I didn’t allow myself to go as far in the hole the last couple times I relapsed. Those financial holes got smaller each time I relapsed. But, there were times when it took me years to dig my way back out. The way to come out of debit is to put that money you were gambling with, towards debit. If I can do it, you can too. “Remember, one day at a time.”👍 You got this.😊

      60 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146372
      ujju197
      Participant

      Hello Cruising247,

      Its feel great that, you are 2 months gamble free today.

      I am still trying to cope up with my situation, sometime I feels anxious, soon after few minutes I was followed by Panic Attacks. And, on few occasions I used to go washroom and cry. But now I assume all this will make me strong and bring the good soul out my inner strength. And, soon I will also post the same 1 year Gamble Free and so on 🙂

      Wish you the best in your journey.

    • #146389
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Thank you!

      Good evening,
      Really, nothing new. Just checking in.

      61 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146390
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      I love that!! 12 days clean let’s go!! It works if you work it.

    • #146437
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hi Danieldrake
      Congrats on your 12 days!!!!

      I cannot believe I am on day 62, if someone would have told me I could do this 63 days ago, I would have said “nooo wayyyy, I can go that long.” But here I am, I can’t believe it myself.
      The only encouraging words I have today is “never stop trying to stop.” I know it’s hard (it is extremely hard), but it is doable. I am still a work in progress, but I’m still here and I (we) have been given another day to get it right.
      I hope that one day each of us can share our story/journey as a testimony to help someone else break free of this evil, awful addiction that come to kill, steal and destroy.
      But, we will not allow it to do either to us.
      Each day say to yourself, out loud if needed, “NOT today, I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY!’

      62 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146438
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Correction: I would have said “nooo wayyyy, I can’t go that long without gambling…

    • #146487
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hi, nothing new, just checking in.

      63 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146489
      Cruising247
      Participant

      I know this is a site for recovering gamblers, to talk about gambling and recovering. But right now I am just typing..

      My emotions have been all over the place, I’m sad, ok I’m emotional, I’m just feeling down. I was at the point of telling myself, just go play, you will feel so much better, just go, you will get that high that you have been missing. Honestly, it is like a drug, it is just a satisfying feeling.
      Let me be clear, I have never been in drugs but I can imagine it’s the same high.
      I know this conversation is a little different, but I’m just so freaking sad today and I can’t shake it.

      I must say though, instead of going to gamble, I went to Longhorn Steakhouse and ate me a side salad and some wild west shrimp. The food didn’t change the way I was feeling, but it was so good. But as I say one day at a time, and I made it through one more day, gamble free.
      Praying to wake up feeling happier in the morning.

    • #146490
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Thank you. This has been a great message board for me. I just met a friend from India. We talked on the phone through whatsup. Great guy. I found him a zoom meeting. If you ever want to chat we can talk. I’m in the U.S. so if over seas let’s do what’s up if not I’ll send you my number

    • #146504
      ujju197
      Participant

      Hello Cruising247 & Daniel,

      Hope you both doing great and going through the different stages in the recovery. Wish you best for that.

      After Reading your post, I want to write about my situation/feelings too, here.

      My emotions and inner strength have reached the saturation level, that I can’t continue myself with any process or recovery. In recovery journey of around 10 days, I already relapsed twice. I am broken, and hit the bottom already. I don’t know tomorrow I will have money to arrange food for my family or myself. I am back again on the stage where I will not have any financial loss anymore; because I don’t have any funds or source of fund which will be with me or in my reach.

      I am near to a stage where I will loose myself mentally or physically; but as soon as my mind opts to finish myself physically “I get picture of people who loves me, who helps me during my life, the new family here and others”; and tell myself “NO” and update myself that there is lot of things and happiness I have to see/enjoy in my life.

      There will be lot of pain which I will suffer, and my dear ones will suffer too because of my illness. But I have to stay strong and keep going whether it take months / years or decades.

      Will keep going “One Day at a Time” and, slowly but gradually will break the Debt mountain too which is standing over my head.

      There are no shortcuts to success or recovery, so now have to suffer/enjoy all stages till I get back to my normalcy.

      Almighty help me with courage to keep standing.

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by ujju197.
    • #146531
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Today was better….

      Walked about 5 miles and enjoyed the beautiful weather….
      Headed out to dinner with the family.

      64 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146536
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Just doing my daily posting. 15 days clean. I START MY DAY WITH THESE WORDS ” NOT TODAY”

    • #146565
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hi Danieldrake,
      Congrats on your 15 days!!!
      We have to celebrate “each day” we go to bed and wakeup gamble free.
      For us, that’s something big/huge, that’s something to celebrate!!!

      That’s right, ‘NOT TODAY!!”(Smile)
      We are taking our life back, “one day at a time!”

    • #146568
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Thank you! 16 days in the clear!. This message board works wonders. Not sure if you are in U.S. but chatting on the phone only helps as well. Me and ujju197 chat on the phone as well. It’s keeps us grounded. Not today! Mabey tommorrow Mabey next year but not today 1 day at a time

    • #146569
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Danieldrake
      For now I am more comfortable communicating on my journal. At some point I may include other channels (like phone calls…)
      But for now I look forward to seeing your daily achievement(s) on the journal.

    • #146581
      Cruising247
      Participant

      65 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146392
      jean1955
      Participant

      Hi everyone. Today is day 1 for me…again. As you say one day at a time.

    • #146638
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hi Jean1955
      Welcome!
      That’s my personal motto, “one day at a time!”

      Nothing to really report today.
      66 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146697
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening!
      67 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146699
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Just checking in 18 days clean. This message board works wonders. It works if you work it.

    • #146756
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening!
      68 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146781
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Sorry counted wrong 19 days clean LFG!!! This message board works and works well. Anytime any thought of gambling comes to mind I post!

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by danieldrake1.
    • #146819
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening,

      Thank you Kin!
      Congratulations Danieldrake1 on your 19 days.👏👏👏

      Nothing new to report, just checking in.
      69 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146850
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening!
      Nothing new to report, just stopping by for my daily check-in. I had a pretty good day.

      70 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146855
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      20 days clean. Just checking in.

    • #146894
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening!
      Just stopping by for my daily check-in.
      Got up this morning, went to the gym to try this new workout I read about, the 12-3-30 (on the treadmill). It was too much, so I completed 2 miles on the treadmill, and walked another 3 at the local park.
      Treated myself to a small nice meal and rode out with the hubby a little later.

      71 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #146936
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening!
      Just stopping by for my daily check-in.

      72 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #147001
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello!
      Just stopping by for my daily check-in.

      73 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #147002
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      22 days clean!

    • #147043
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello!

      74 Days Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler…
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #147096
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      25 day clean. Paid my quarterly taxes. I can see the new business thriving. Only way to be successful is to not gamble.

    • #147146
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening,
      Guess who screwed up yesterday, yelp it was me.
      But, I will start over with my head held high.
      I made the mistake of trying to talk myself out of going, when I knew I should have made a call.
      I told myself, this would be a test to see if I could play and stay within my allotted limit. Wellll, I failed.
      All I can say is lesson learned, so I have chosen not to beat myself up.
      Each time I start over I make it a little farther along.
      I was actually regretting checking in tonight, but I am human. I chose to practice what I preach. “Get back up!”
      I have chosen to leave it at “one” mess-up day, and I have chosen to get back up, and try it again.

      1 day Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.
      Recovering “One day at a time!”

    • #147147
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Great job Danieldrake!
      26 Days gamble free!

    • #147156
      ujju197
      Participant

      Hello Cruising247,

      In last we all are humans and used to mistakes. And, especially we compulsive gambler used to get in this trap again and again.

      But stay strong, and stay away from the first killing bet.

      We all are with you. We need you here (You are inspiration to many)

    • #147171
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Cruising247 the only bad thing you did was place the bet. You went right back on here and posted about it. You minimized the damage! Let’s get it done. One day at a time. Not today mabey tommorrow next week next year but not today

    • #147190
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello,
      Thank you both for the reminder, and encouraging words.
      What’s funny is I was definitely disappointed with myself, but I felt even worst for disappointing the team. I never realized this felt like a real team until I messed up. I kept thinking, how can I go back to the forum and admit that I messed up.
      But, I’m glad I did. If I had not returned, I probably would have went back to chase my loss. Thank God it wasn’t a huge loss.
      This is the one place I can talk about gambling and not feel like I’m being judged. If it’s one thing I know, it’s hard for a none gambler to understand how you can throw away all your hard earned money. They look at you like, it had to be something wrong with you.

      Again, thank you.

    • #147202
      ujju197
      Participant

      Hello Cruising247,

      I have learned one thing from the GA/GT community, that during recovery we have to learn to stay away from Gambling/First Bet. This Addiction never ends, so we just have to stop and keep it tightly bound with the iron chains. The beast will always be near us, long life; but choice is ours i.e. We have to select the Truth or Beast(Illusion).

    • #147254
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Just checking in..

      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #147257
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Going on to my 30th day this is great news! One day at a time let’s always check in here daily. What I have learned. I have took my compulsive addictive behavior and channeled that passion for gambling into my new business. I’m thriving with it. I know if I go back to gambling the business will crumble and I will lose my family. So far so good. I’m 😊 happy again. Let’s keep it going on these message boards!

    • #147272
      risingphoenix
      Participant

      Hi Cruising,

      Put as many barriers in place as possible. I tell my parents immediately when I have urges and they are able to calm me down and point me in the right direction. See if you can talk to someone. Don’t try ‘testing’ if you can control this addiction. We addicts can never do this gambling again. We have a problem and the only solution is to just not do it. And stay as far away as possible.

      You can beat this. I am rooting for you.

      One day at a time!

    • #147203
      similarshark
      Participant

      Hey all, I’m almost at lost of all hope. Not sure how to stop gambling, I am having the urge 24/7 even when I work or when I’m at school. I have no friends to talk to and I’m scared to talk to family because it will destroy years of trust.

    • #147381
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello,

      Thank you Rising Phoenix.

      Hi Similarshark, I was once there. I would even look for reasons to leave work. But, I can tell you, the longer you go without making that bet,the easier it gets and the urges eases up. It took me a while to open up to my family, they knew I was gambling, but had no idea I had a compulsive problem. But,they loved me enough to give me a second, third, …chance. I found that checking in on the forum daily really help to keep me on track, and allow me to discuss recovering without being judged. So checking in even on days you have nothing to share will assist with accountability. Well, I pray those urges eases up soon for you. Hang in there, the discomfort you are experiencing is worth the end result. Oh, and you have to replace those thoughts, and that time with something different. I started back working out (walking), keeping the grands overnight more often, and thrift shopping. Just a few things that I enjoy doing.

      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #147386
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      On to my 32nd day. 1 day at a time

    • #147087
      buzz2022
      Participant

      10 minutes gamble free, sad compared to others who have commented here, but I need to celebrate minute by minute right now, hopefully soon I will be counting hours and then days…I’ve been hooked on online gambling for almost 11 years. It has made me someone I don’t even recognize anymore but reading everyone’s posts is making me hopeful that I’m not alone, others do it, so can I. I got a really nice raise this year, which was my saving grace from squandering away all my money. Help me God to not continue this brand new year the same way I have the last 10 years. I just want to me free again, to be “me” again…

    • #147529
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello!
      Nothing to share, just checking in.

      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #147532
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Checking in. 33 days clean and I am at peace with myself. I finally have a rock solid foundation for success in this lifetime of recovery. I seen huge success with my business. Something that would of failed if I continued to be in action. God is good! .

    • #147590
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hi Danieldrake!

      Yes HE is!!!! Soooo happy for you.

      I’m not posting my days right now, but all is well. Last time I didn’t start my online counting until I hit day 27 (,that’s why my journal is titled “I am on day 27.”

      Nothing new to share, Im happy my work week is over. I stopped by a like bbq stand on my way home and purchased a very good rib dinner. Just relaxing and watching television right now.

      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #147592
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Just checking in all is well!

    • #147706
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      36 days clean! It’s been great and I feel great. One day at a time.

    • #147795
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Good evening!

      All is well, just checking in.

      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #147957
      Cruising247
      Participant

      All is well, just checking in.

      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #148109
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      42 days clean. Sorry I haven’t been posting. Got real busy with work stuff. Life is great now.

    • #148334
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Hello,
      All is well, just checking in.

      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #148336
      ujju197
      Participant

      Hello @danieldrake1 @crusing247

      Hope you both are doing good and keeping strong hold in this recovery journey.

      I also completed 31 Days Clean, but the feeling of guilt is increasing day by day. Once, I have stopped playing and no more burning hard earned money in the casinos “I have feeling that what I have lost”. I lost ample of time which I can spend with my family and loved ones. And, last but not least the anxiety which take negative toll on my physical and mental health. Day and night just thinking of the same, whenever I feel relaxed someone comes in and pour hot oil on the burning fire.

    • #148389
      Cruising247
      Participant

      I’m feeling very sad tonight, today has been a rouge day. My emotions are all over the place.
      Most people go home to wine or something, I wish I could have went to gamble today. But, I didn’t. So, I just want to sit and cry.

      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #148391
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      46 days clean just checking in

    • #148393
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Thank you so much Kin for your kind, encouraging words.

      Danieldrake1 Congratulations on your46 days of being gamble free. (Yayyy)

    • #148398
      ujju197
      Participant

      Hello Daniel,

      Congrats on completing 45+ days Clean. This means you have crossed the first mini milestone.


      @Cruising247

      Don’t let your guard down there will be lot of hiccups in this journey, but we have to stay strong in any way we can. I used to go through the same pain, but somehow I am able to control it.

      Just want to share what I used to do when I am sad or feel urge to play; I used to write anything on this forum or notepad. Used to draw my imagination on the piece of paper. Like yesterday I was drowning in the water and when I am trying to come out; Gambling Demon is going to push back me in the water.

      This time, except my GA family no one knows the harsh reality of mine. So, I just share my sorrow/remorse here.

      Wish, we all can come up Strong and beat this demon day by day.

    • #148484
      velvet
      Moderator

      Hi Cruising

      Keep posting and please keep visiting F&F whenever you want to do so, you are welcome.

      You did nothing to deserve the burden you are carrying; you didn’t ask for it, you didn’t want it; there is nothing to be ashamed about in owning it and nobody should blame you, including yourself.

      Keep visualising the outcome that ‘you’ want. Nothing else and nobody else matters as much as ‘you’.

      True, lasting recoveries do start; I know; I’ve seen them and heard them and they are wonderful. I know you can do it. I have been watching your progress and I am willing you on.

      Velvet

    • #149196
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Unju197/Velvet,

      Thank you so much for your encouraging words, I sitting here literally in tears.
      I just want to be normal again, I just want to be able to remove the last 10 years of my life. I am soo tired of always worrying about gambling, worrying about losing all my money.
      I have a husband, but he feel like I should be able to just stop. I attended a few GA Mtgs before Covid, but I made the mistake of taking him to my last one. I was too embarrassed to return after that. He was sitting there with his little smug comments, I just wanted to crawl under the table.
      I’m an introvert, so I have no circle of friends by choice. I can’t explain it, but I honestly don’t like being around people. I like people, but being around them give me anxiety. I know it sounds crazy, I feel like I’m going crazy daily.
      So, this forum is the only place I can talk and be open and not feel judged. I just want to be normal sooo bad again. This disease is so scary, I feel stuck. I just want it all to stop.
      I’m not suicidal, even though I think of not wanting to be here if this is my life, daily.

      I’m just venting and ranting because I’m feeling so hopeless at this moment.
      I know this too shall pass. Hopefully, soon.

    • #149209
      Losingitslowly
      Participant

      You are not so different and part of the reason that you choose gambling is because it is a solitary activity. Normal gambling is/ can be a social activity but our kind is solitary. I cant say that I have really ever spoken to anyone when I was at a casino because I am so wrapped up in the process and the high that people are just annoyances and I actually get depressed watching them. I am sorry that your husband is not a support system but I can understand how he feels too since I have been on both sides of the spectrum. My nephew is /was an opioid addict. When we first found out we all said the same thing – he has to quit. His girlfriend ended up dying and we still just insisted that he had to quit. We had no idea of the depth of his addiction or the struggle to get clean. We just thought that he had to try harder to quit and that was that. It was like that when the realization of what he was hit us, it was his cue to quit and that was that. People can be a source of support but they can also be a reminder that we are not who we want to be. People can be the source of trauma if you were not treated well as a child, or alienation if you’ve been hurt. It’s not necessary to want to be around others but is necessary to be in their company from time to.time. I work with others 7 days a week and am quite social while there, but dont ask me to go out or visit once i am done. I barely answer my front door if someone knocks. Its who you are and feel fine with that. Gambling does enough to our self love so give yourself some room to heal from this and see where you are when you feel that you have more control. You might feel fine with the way things are and that’s ok.

    • #149210
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      56 days clean. Just keep posting in here. It works better than anything I have done in the past besides GA meetings. It works if you work it!

    • #149212
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Losingitslowly,
      Thank you. And you are so right,
      that is so me when I go to play. I would go alone, and just hearing everyone around me getting loud just annoyed the heck out of me. Especially, if all they won was $20-$30…
      I socialize fine at work Monday-Thurs, but I really don’t want to see them again until next Monday when I leave Thursday afternoon.
      If someone would have told me this would be my life 11 years ago, I would have laughed and said “you’re crazy as heck, because I would never throw away money like that, that’s crazy”…. But here I am.
      I already thought something was wrong with me because I never cared to be around people, now I have to spend my energy on not going to do something that honestly give me the most excitement, whether I’m winning or losing. The pain and embarrassment don’t hit until your money is gone and you realized you have screwed up once more.

      Thank you again for sharing, and encouragement.

    • #149214
      Losingitslowly
      Participant

      So funny, its sounds like I just wrote every word that you wrote about myself. I still get this weird feeling in my stomach when I think about going to a casino. I picture the foyer of my local like it was Disney land. The problem with people like us who seem to need the artificial stimuli of the slots and games is that it is really hard to replace with anything else. After a hard day at work my mind longs to have the “fun” of sitting back with my favorite games on my phone and playing “just a little”. I convince myself that it will only be for a while but it never turns out the way I planned. It’s like drugs, once you get the buzz you want to keep it going. I feel anxious when I know that I am going to have to stop playing and it almost feels like pain to my mind. It’s a hard thing to kick for sure but all addictions have their physical components to overcome. All you can do is make yourself accountable for what you do and deal qith the discomfort in the most reasonable way you can. Hope your day goes well.

    • #149216
      jvr3419
      Participant

      Hi cruising247 I just read your posts I can relate with the not liking being around people. I do have alot of friends and recovery based relationships but I had to work hard at them because I like to self isolate alot. When I first got into addiction recovery in my early 20s I was so hesitant to let people in. I’ve never trusted anyone however I met these girls and a women that became my sponsor and they became family to me. The reason I’m still sober from drugs and alcohol is because of these people. I had to really learn to let people in and support me so I could stop finding solace in an addiction. When I starting gambling 2 years ago is when I was struggling hard I stopped calling people but also we were forced to isolate because of covid so my support network just went out the window. I didn’t try that hard either. I pushed everyone away because I was caught in the shame cycle of gambling. I always say when I stopped talking to others is when this addiction got worse. I needed the connection from others even if I didn’t want it. I think the reason I’m staying away from gambling now is because ive pushed myself back into seeing my friends all the time now and having a counselor, and recovery people in my life again. I tried to rely on my partner to much but he wasn’t capable of giving me what I needed support wise. We now aren’t together. The hard reality is really waking up and seeing that we need connection to others in some way shape or form to stay clean. This forum is good for talking to others and getting our thoughts out to but for me i need more than this to stay away from gambling. I no that if your anything like me alot of the reclusiveness comes from going through stuff alone as a kid maybe or at times in your life and it becomes a survival technique to stay in the shell so others can’t hurt you. My solace when I was young was hiding in my dogs house outside with her. To this day I have a dog and hes the only thing that can calm me. Us humans are scarey were unpredictable and it’s hard interacting with others when we’re super fragile ourselves. One thing that we as addicts have to remember is that there is other people that are on the reciprocating end of us to. Sometimes we put on rose colored glasses and just see what’s coming at us but we have to sometimes put ourselves in others shoes to see what were dishing out or acting like towards them as well. I feel your pain alot I no what your going through I’m in the same boat these days to with wondering how could i let this happen to myself but we made a mistake and we got to forgive ourselves. Wishing you all the best today

    • #149233
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Thank you all for being here, sharing, and most of all for “listening.”
      I have returned to gambling on a few occasions after relaping.
      I am ready to get back on track, it felt so good to reach those 70+ gamble free days recently.
      I’m looking forward to reaching 70 plus days again (PLUS MANY MANY MORE)..

      Thank you all again for the support.

      1 day, gamble free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #149235
      davidbetting1
      Participant

      Totally understand and the trick to getting through it truly is taking things one day at a time.

      Everyday is a chance to get better and to be a better person. Always try to better yourself and surround yourself around positive people that bring tye best out of you.

      Go for walks, play sports, reading books or anything that occupies your time is the best way to beat this nasty habit.

      The temptation will always be there but if we are able to take the right steps there should be no reason why you cannot recover.

      Good luck to all and wishing you all the best for the new year.

    • #149302
      Cruising247
      Participant

      Thank you Davidbetting1

      Today was a good day!

      2 days, Gamble Free
      I am a “recovering” compulsive gambler, and I plan to get back up as many times as it takes to stay gamble free.

    • #149748
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      Almost went 60 days. Relapsed. My clean date will start 03/01/2022. Was testing and tempting myself. Learned from this. Let’s go back to clean street.

    • #150535
      danieldrake1
      Participant

      I hit big and lost half of winnings. I am still down overall in life. I am starting my clean date today 03/11/2022

    • #150539
      Losingitslowly
      Participant

      I can relate. I was doing well yesterday then sat down for a bit to relax. Nothing on t.v. so I picked up the computer and it was shit from there. I should know the signs but I still get sucked in. I have gamban on my computer but actually found sites that fall under their radar and was playing on that one. I actually had an email come through from the gt app while I was playing and I ignored it. I didn’t even want to get up this morning because I was so disgusted with myself I slept until 7. For me that’s like others sleeping until noon. I need to find another focus for my down time that is doable at this point and wont leave me exhausted. I have tried cleaning my house but because I work 2 jobs, I need rest time too. I hope that we can both start today as a day one again and post daily to encourage each other. I hope today finds you stronger and renewed in your attempts to stay gamble free

    • #151560
      risingphoenix
      Participant

      How are you doing crusing? No recent posts. Hope you are well

    • #151724
      velvet
      Moderator

      Hi Cruising

      I’m hoping that today is a good day for you and I’m hoping you post again soon.

      Don’t seek to remove the last 10 years of your life but use the bitter experience as a reference to make the next 10 years better. Learning to control a gambling addiction can give you strength to do so much more than you have ever done before, it can help you understand so much more, you can be the person you want to be.

      Your husband’s smug comments at a GA meeting say more about him than they say about you. You are trying to be a better person but he is unable to empathise with you – that to me shows courage on your part and ignorance on his. He sounds like he still has a lot to learn; maybe you could be the one to teach him empathy as your gamble-free life grows!

      The world would be a dull place if we were all the same. I don’t think you should have to explain why you prefer to be solitary, anymore than I should have to explain why being truly alone would frighten me. I don’t think you sound crazy, you sound like a lovely person.

      Understanding each other takes time but you are doing a great job learning to understand what makes ‘you’ tick. Controlling your addiction will help you to like yourself so be selfish and go for it.

      I do care, I want you to succeed and what’s more, I know you can.

      As Ever

      Velvet

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by velvet.
      • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by velvet.
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