[akuma]

I am ruining everything. I dont know why. I cant stop. I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am, I am doing more than great, I am only 24 and I just throw everything away to this bullshit. I dont know why I feel the need to do it. I guess that I’ve lost so much that I just try to “win it back” even though I know I won’t. I stop for some time, then the thought comes “Cmon now 30 bucks is nothing let’s have some “fun”. And I lose. And I have to win it back. Then win this back. Then win that back. And all of a sudden I’ve just spent my whole salary that I’ve worked my ass off to get, literally equivalent to just throwing the money out the window. WHY MAN, WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS I DONT UNDERSTAND MYSELF ANYMORE IM GOING NUTS OVER THIS. I CANT STOP MYSELF AND ITS MAKING ME HATE MYSELF AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME WHILE I HAVE A GREAT LIFE AND IVE WORKED SO HARD TO BUILD ALL THIS… WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP DOING THIS.. There’s no way I’m talking about this with my family, I’ve done more than enough to lose their trust already. My friends are not able to help me out, it’s pointless to share, no one will understand, because they’re not fucking dumb like me. I dont know what to do, this has gotten way out of hand. Dont know why I’m writing this either, I guess that someone might feel the same even though I doubt someone can throw so much away in such a short amount of time, for nothing. I will ready anything you guys say though, is there a way out, why am I doing this in the first place? Im losing my mind.

[Dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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