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    • #15079

      breathing is hard for me at this moment.i feel like i’m choking that something is stucked in my throat. i couldn’t think of anything..couldn’t focus..couldn’t even close my eyes and try to sleep. it’s almost morning and i’m back again in my usual pretentious routine as a good wife. i don’t know when this urge would stop or when can i finally stop myself from this destructive habit. i thought i’m ok already..i thought i don’t need a theraphy anymore for i was able to stop gambling for months. for months and it’s a lot of effort but i threw it all to waste. it happened so fast i didn’t realize it until i found no more cash in my pocket again. aaaaaaaaaaah! stupid!stupid!stupid! it’s so’s like i put myself into a ****hole again and this time it’s deeper..i’m near to a nervous breakdown..i just wish time would stop for a minute to let me catch my breath..It’s so hard..i’m so ashamed..don’t know if it’s still possible for me to change.

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