9 July 2013 at 1:43 am #9390david9701Participant
I think my story is like a lot of other people. I started gambling slow and it snowballed out of control.
I am drawn to the casino like a moth to a flame. I have lost everything that I every worked, because of my gambling habits. When I say I lost everything, I mean it. Because of my gambling habits I did not pay my bills. I lost my truck, my motorcycles and the big one I lost my home. Many good people lost their homes due to bank fraud and other reason out the their control. I lost mine because I gambled my house payments away. Even my wife packed up and left. Guess what I did? Ran off to the casino. I thought it would make me feel better. After everything was gone. I got a pink slip at work because my work had slipped so far off. They could not keep me on staff any longer. I was going to work late leaving early and even taking long lunches to go to the casino. I used my pay check to fund my gambling, I used my credit cards after I lost my job, and once the credit cards were maxed out, I started taking high interest pay day loans to fund my gambling. Words can not express how lonely and depressed I am.
I remember when my father died, the service at 11:00am all I could think of is getting to the casino. I was hoping the service would end soon so I could get to the casino. As I am writing this I am planning to head to the casino now! After each trip to the casino I feel so bad I wish I could just die and it would be all over. There really does not seem like a whole lot of reasons to live. I only exist, I don’t really live life. I work now only to get money to gamble away. Someone asked me once "do you ever win" Nope. I never win. That’s the plain simple truth I don’t ever win. I have never won any sizable amount of money. I once borrowed a friends lap top computer for a work project. I stopped by the local pawn shop to see what it was worth…… $200 cash for a new laptop that my friend just purchased for $1299.00 seemed fair to me. So I sold it to the pawn shop and ran to the casino. My friend asked where his new laptop was I lied, I told him it had been stolen. I have lied, borrowed, begged and stolen to gamble. I have missed all family functions to gamble. The day my son walked across the stage in the biggest event of his life to receive his high school diploma. I was at the casino. I blew my sons college fund at the casino, and I took out a title loan on his car to gamble. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Day, 4th July I was at the casino. I am clearly the worse father and lowest form of scum to walk the face of the earth. Gambling to me is worse then any drug I have heard of. Just as a person that needs a drug fix I need a gambling fix everyday and it does not matter how I get the money to do it. I have only shared a portion of the crazy story. But, this is very depressing even writing about it. Thank you.9 July 2013 at 3:10 am #9391bettieParticipant
You story is like a lot of stories I have heard online and at meetings.
I would implore you to please call the GA hotline and talk to someone, anyone. 1-888-GA- HELPS (US)
You can have a better life, you deserve a better life. You ARE worth it!
And yes, gambling is a rush, very much like herion. It releases the same endorfins as any feel good ****.
There is help.
bettie9 July 2013 at 8:35 am #9392alwaysthefishParticipant
Hey David and welcome here. Thanks for sharing. It’s important to realize that you need help and you can’t fight this disease on your own. Just as you couldn’t fight a whole range of other diseases on your own. You need help.
Also, realize that what you’ve lost so far is gone. You can’t win it back. What you maybe could do is not lose more. This of course is easier said than done. I wish you best of luck!
If you dine with the devil, bring a long spoon9 July 2013 at 8:41 am #9393janeyParticipant
Hi David, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.
The Gambling Therapy Team
11 July 2013 at 4:15 pm #9394chloe1969Participant
Thanks for sharing your story. You just have to consider that whatever you have lost to be spilled milk. You can’t have it back. The money that you lost now belongs to the casino.
I had the same problem for several years and all I could think of was heading to the casino to get my fix. Predictably I lost all my savings and maxed out credit cards and took out high interest personal loans of which I am still servicing.
My sister paid out my debts but I kept incurring them again. Eventually I knew there was no other option but to ban myself from the casino. It is the best thing I have done and I urge you to consider doing the same.
It’s never too late to stop and start rebuilding. The fact is no one wins. When we do we give it all back and more. That seems to be everyone’s story.
I am still struggling myself but I hope you find the strength to do what is right.
Chloe11 July 2013 at 4:26 pm #9395moondogParticipant
I, too have lost lots but not everything. I am just joining this site today because I feel as you do that there is no hope. My savings is gone, we are behind on everything. Payday loans to pay bills cause my paycheck goes to the casino. They have a way of making you feel special, don’t they? Comp meals, rooms, etc, it’s so easy to fall into the trap. My husband loves to gamble too so we feed of each other which somehow makes it okay. Then we have the next day "hangover", swear to never do it again, because we have no money left, then go to lunch, comped, and start at it again. To longest I have gone without gambling is 4 months, this was about 5 years ago and I really felt good but then I thought I could go back and gamble with moderation, hah! So here I am again, starting over, hopefully before it’s too late. I am embarrassed and humiliated that at my age I have nothing to show for my years of working. I am as broke now as I was 30 years ago when minimum wage was 3.75/hr. I need to feel good again.happy trails
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