[abmitchell]

I am in my early twenties and am married.  I have became overwhelmed, depressed, and have feelings of being lonely.  I turn my problems to many bad habits…food (gained 50 lbs)…tobacco…and lastly gambling.  The way it makes me feel is happy…I know it is a false type of happiness becasue it doesn’t last long.  I have went through a LOT of money in the last year.  We are not that in debt, (just have one credit card with a two thousand limit) but we literally have no savings and this scares me.  It scares me becasue I am half a world away from my family and if something was to happen…oh..it would be bad.  The "old me" as I refer to myself a few years ago was a saver, penny pincher, frugal call it whatever you like, but I would save save save….then I just seemed to break.  I just let my whole life go down the drain and I want to do something before it gets completely washed away.  There are many things that lead to this I believe, being sick, BIG family problems, gaining weight and just not really fitting into this crowd of people I was thrown in to that I know nothing about or anyone.  In short I have no friends, to stay sane I volunteer and go to school online.  I can’t get a job becasue there are none here for spouses (I have tried every chance I get). I know I have a very very addictive personally and I know I have a problem (actually multiply problems). I mean I use to be such an out going fun person and I have fallen far away from that.  I just want to get help and be proud of the "new me."      Love Yourself First

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