[craig1986]

Hi Everyone,
Im Craig, 26 and a compulsive gambler. Ive tried most of the methods I’ve come across to kick my habit but regardless of any short term success, always find myself back in the situation im in now. Im currently struggling mentally and in the obligatory financial mess gambling creates, I have reached the point where I want to commit to quitting for good.
I find it hard to get to this point as despite being aware of the consequences of my gambling I don’t seem to care and almost thrive on the mess I am leaving myself in. Its almost as if I’m not content untill I have lost everything. My main gambles of choice are fruit machines or FOBT in the bookies although I often bet on anything at all just for the sake of it.
I have tried GA, Residential Rehab, Hypnotherapy and put myself in Prison to try to stop all with brief periods of success but always seem to convince myself that I know better than what I have been taught or told. In truth I am completely fed up with the life I lead. I have relocated and changed my circle of friends but gambling-wise nothing has changed. I have run out of excuses for my gambling and am left with 1 common denominator – me.
I’d say the only positive part of my life is that I have a lovely Girlfiend who has 2 great kids. She is fully aware of my gambling as I have been open with her from the start. I dont think she understands the extent of it as we dont live together and have seperate finances. She is one of the main motivating factors in me seeking help as it is inevitable that if I dont, this relationship will end. Just like all the others.
I feel that to be successful in quitting for good I need constant support and have been aware of this site since being resident at Gordon Moody in Dudley 3 years ago. Like everything else I’ve looked at, I have created reasons why this wouldnt work in my head and put it off. As i feel myself caring less and less about my life I now feel that anything is worth a try.
I’m on Day 4 today without gambling which is a start. I just need to stay focussed and not give in like usual.
I just want to be normal.

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